The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[sir roger]

50 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

It's a lot of information, but a great euphemism. 

I forget which thread it was mentioned in a while back, GD, but as you can imagine with this forum it took on a life of its own with ' did you pack the fudge yourself ' etc. 

[General Dryness]

9 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I forget which thread it was mentioned in a while back, GD, but as you can imagine with this forum it took on a life of its own with ' did you pack the fudge yourself ' etc. 

You'll be shocked to learn that I haven't just fallen out of my seat.

[VladimirIlyich]

14 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I forget which thread it was mentioned in a while back, GD, but as you can imagine with this forum it took on a life of its own with ' did you pack the fudge yourself ' etc. 

I am glad to say that this wasn't my 'quip.'

[DalyanPete]

The noise you make when putting shoes or socks on. 

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, General Dryness said:

You'll be shocked to learn that I haven't just fallen out of my seat.

 

57 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I am glad to say that this wasn't my 'quip.'

CRASH

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m struggling to settle on a picture for my watch face. I thought I’d found one that wasn’t bad. My eight year old daughter clocked it (no pun intended) and started pissing herself laughing. Then she shouted our 14 year old over to look at it and she was in hysterics as well. Apparently I’ve been walking round with a ‘Gucci Apple’ watch face and I’m a “grown man”. How does my eight year old know what Gucci style looks like?
 

 

 

I just thought it was a nice pattern. Little shits are still giggling about it a week later. 

[dockers_strike]

On 16/03/2022 at 10:19, DalyanPete said:

The noise you make when putting shoes or socks on. 

You mean involuntary farting when you bend over?!

[Pureblood]

Not reading the thread properly. 

[DalyanPete]

6 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

You mean involuntary farting when you bend over?!

Ha ha, but no. The grunt that says, " wish my feet were on my knees"

[DalyanPete]

6 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m struggling to settle on a picture for my watch face. I thought I’d found one that wasn’t bad. My eight year old daughter clocked it (no pun intended) and started pissing herself laughing. Then she shouted our 14 year old over to look at it and she was in hysterics as well. Apparently I’ve been walking round with a ‘Gucci Apple’ watch face and I’m a “grown man”. How does my eight year old know what Gucci style looks like?
 

 

 

I just thought it was a nice pattern.  

Me too.

[chrisbonnie]

Heartburn 

 

Never suffered from it before, and since turning 40 in October I've had it on and off ever since. And the going thing that sets it off, is none other than, porridge. 

 

I ate it every fucking day, but for some strange reason, not any more. If I eat it now, Im suffering for two days while washing down rennies with gaviscon. 

[Mudface]

7 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

Heartburn 

 

Never suffered from it before, and since turning 40 in October I've had it on and off ever since. And the going thing that sets it off, is none other than, porridge. 

 

I ate it every fucking day, but for some strange reason, not any more. If I eat it now, Im suffering for two days while washing down rennies with gaviscon. 

I feel your pain. I've had IBS since my 20s and learned to cut out various trigger foods, but it's been in abeyance for a while and I can eat a few things that were real no-nos previously as long as I don't go mad.

 

I felt a bit crappy and tired yesterday evening, so decided to have a coffee- probably my first one in several years. I even took an Omeprazole beforehand just in case. Really bad mistake, between about 2:30 and 4, I had to down 2 strips of Rennies to ease the fire in my stomach and I had to sleep downstairs as I was writhing in agony and waking my wife up. The only time I've ever had anything nearly as bad was after eating chilli peanuts...

[KMD7]

7 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

Heartburn 

 

Never suffered from it before, and since turning 40 in October I've had it on and off ever since. And the going thing that sets it off, is none other than, porridge. 

 

I ate it every fucking day, but for some strange reason, not any more. If I eat it now, Im suffering for two days while washing down rennies with gaviscon. 

Stock up on Nexium mate. You can get 30mg packets over he counter at a chemist for short term heartburn. I'm permanently on a daily 40mg dose prescribed by my doctor. 

[Section_31]

When you see pictures of old schoolmates and they all look like Phil Mitchell, even the lads.

[chrisbonnie]

16 hours ago, KMD7 said:

Stock up on Nexium mate. You can get 30mg packets over he counter at a chemist for short term heartburn. I'm permanently on a daily 40mg dose prescribed by my doctor. 

That's what I take. I double drop the the 20's to make 40. 

 

I saw a doctor in January and he prescribed the 40's for two weeks. Which worked, then if it flares up I just take two over the counter ones. 

 

Was out on the gargle last night and so far so good. 

 

But I still haven't they bottle to try and bowl of porridge though.... Lol 

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

On 15/03/2022 at 20:33, lifetime fan said:

Fucks sake. 
 

My first Saturday job was on the record counter in Woolworths. 

Reading this made me google this. The fact that I still remembered the tune coupled with the date of the advert has made me fairly alarmed.

 

 

[Elite]

You don't pick something up for someone that drops something not due to a lack of courtesy but out of fear your back will go.

[Harry Squatter]

Planned a night out 5 weeks ago and 2 days before it my mate got Covid. Told my other mate we'd leave it until the other lad was able to go out again rather than go out and get pissed without him.

 

Was quite relieved as I had a busy weekend and would have been fucked for 2 days if I'd been out as I would have had zero recovery time.  Years ago I would have stayed in bed til about 3pm the next day.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Opening a thread and reading your own recent reply without remembering it.

[Section_31]

Young lads are shite these days aren't they. Lad in our place is about 22 and said he's going to Mexico for spring break.

 

I started making Syd James noises and told him to bring loads of pics back.

 

He just looked at me funny and said he was looking forward to swimming with turtles.

 

I said oh is that what they call it these days.

 

And he just looked at me funny again.

 

Bunch of draft dodging peace freaks.

[littletedwest]

Went out with my mates yesterday, one who spent most of the day moaning about his coat not being warm enough and worrying about getting food.

Ten years ago he took that much coke on a night out he had to have 3 days off work sick. How age changes us

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Went out with my mates yesterday, one who spent most of the day moaning about his coat not being warm enough and worrying about getting food.

Ten years ago he took that much coke on a night out he had to have 3 days off work sick. How age changes us

He probably realises that if he was still that way he'd not be going on any nights out as he'd be a teeny weeny bit deceased.

[Harry's Lad]

I'm sat in the car outside the shops waiting for my Mrs and a renowned headcase from years back has just shuffled past mumbling to himself.

He looked like an old man yet he's only 3 or 4 years older than me so early 60's. 

 

He was a proper loon back in the day and I'm not sure if I feel sorry for him or whether he's got his just desserts.

 

Either way it's left me feeling older than I did before I saw him and it's not pleasant. 

 

[Captain Willard]

In Amsterdam with work, 2 beers with the Dutch colleagues and went to my hotel and to bed. Early start and my goutty toe is playing up. I'm properly old now. 

[Elite]

The hardest part of getting older is remembering the best times of your life and realising that shits gone.