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Ever read her column in the Echo? It's safe to say the brain don't match the norks.

 

She's nowt special.

 

You've got that right - vacuous bimbo hardly does her justice.

 

She gets PAID to write this shite???

 

Last week I told you I was going for a pamper day and I’m so glad I went. It was the Lipsy/Brown Cow pampering day at the Hard Days Night Hotel, and we got spoilt rotten. As I was one of the first appointments I got some of the best picks - jammy cow, I know!

 

We were taken into a suite first of all full of Lipsy clothes and told to choose what we liked. I just chose a silk shirt and a little boob tube dress because I didn’t want to be to cheeky! Then we were allowed to pre-order three things from new collection that isn’t out yet to send us in the post which was really nice of them.

 

After that it was onto the next room where we got shoes, bags, trainers that get rid of cellulite, bracelets from Links of London. We were laden down with bags and it was all free, to promote their products ... what a great idea!

 

It was then down to the John Lennon suite where everyone was having Fake Bake tans, hair and nails done and extensions put in their hair for a party in Kingdom then Newz bar.

 

You could pick whatever treatment you liked, but I didn’t bother having anything done because I’d been to the Sex in the City fashion show the night before so I wasn’t really feeling up to another night out. I can’t do two nights in a row, no way! So I went home and had a quiet night in trying on all my new stuff.

 

Speaking of Wednesday night, the fashion show was great and at the end of the night I was allowed to go on the decks and practice my DJing. I was doing OK until I realised someone had stolen my bag. Whoever it was must have been disappointed, though, because all that was in it was my bank card, which I cancelled straight away, and some make-up. All I was bothered about was the bag itself, a Roberto Cavalli one which I’d brought two weeks before.

 

Today I’m doing a photoshoot for Woman’s Own with my mum to promote the TV show which starts on April 21. We have to do loads of promotion for it so this is just the start.

 

Also I did a shoot for a French lingerie company and I’ve just got some of the pictures sent to me - it was very Bridget Bardot inspired!

 

I’m not sure if anyone saw it but after weeks of waiting I was finally on Girls of the Playboy Mansion on Sunday night. I didn’t even realise I was on that one then the next thing I’m sitting there with a big deep Scouse accent having dinner with Hef! How bad does it sound when you hear your own voice? I was cringing for myself. I’ve put it on my myspace page in case anyone missed it and wants a laugh!

 

This week I’m loving:

 

Friday brunch with my friends - we’ve decided that every Friday we’re going to meet up for breakfast/lunch to catch up.

 

M&S food - I’m obsessed with it, especially the chocolate eclairs

 

This week I’m hating:

 

People who steal other people’s belongings.

 

I felt brain cells begin to die after two lines. IQ vampire.

 

 

 

(Edit) I would, but she'd better not go shooting her mouth off about it...

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Last week I told you I was going for a pamper day and I’m so glad I went. It was the Lipsy/Brown Cow pampering day at the Hard Days Night Hotel, and we got spoilt rotten. As I was one of the first appointments I got some of the best picks - jammy cow, I know!

 

We were taken into a suite first of all full of Lipsy clothes and told to choose what we liked. I just chose a silk shirt and a little boob tube dress because I didn’t want to be to cheeky! Then we were allowed to pre-order three things from new collection that isn’t out yet to send us in the post which was really nice of them.

 

After that it was onto the next room where we got shoes, bags, trainers that get rid of cellulite, bracelets from Links of London. We were laden down with bags and it was all free, to promote their products ... what a great idea!

 

It was then down to the John Lennon suite where everyone was having Fake Bake tans, hair and nails done and extensions put in their hair for a party in Kingdom then Newz bar.

 

You could pick whatever treatment you liked, but I didn’t bother having anything done because I’d been to the Sex in the City fashion show the night before so I wasn’t really feeling up to another night out. I can’t do two nights in a row, no way! So I went home and had a quiet night in trying on all my new stuff.

 

Speaking of Wednesday night, the fashion show was great and at the end of the night I was allowed to go on the decks and practice my DJing. I was doing OK until I realised someone had stolen my bag. Whoever it was must have been disappointed, though, because all that was in it was my bank card, which I cancelled straight away, and some make-up. All I was bothered about was the bag itself, a Roberto Cavalli one which I’d brought two weeks before.

 

Today I’m doing a photoshoot for Woman’s Own with my mum to promote the TV show which starts on April 21. We have to do loads of promotion for it so this is just the start.

 

Also I did a shoot for a French lingerie company and I’ve just got some of the pictures sent to me - it was very Bridget Bardot inspired!

 

I’m not sure if anyone saw it but after weeks of waiting I was finally on Girls of the Playboy Mansion on Sunday night. I didn’t even realise I was on that one then the next thing I’m sitting there with a big deep Scouse accent having dinner with Hef! How bad does it sound when you hear your own voice? I was cringing for myself. I’ve put it on my myspace page in case anyone missed it and wants a laugh!

 

This week I’m loving:

 

Friday brunch with my friends - we’ve decided that every Friday we’re going to meet up for breakfast/lunch to catch up.

 

M&S food - I’m obsessed with it, especially the chocolate eclairs

 

This week I’m hating:

 

People who steal other people’s belongings.

 

That article is everything that is wrong with society today.

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Leave my future bird to be once I hire someone to kidnapp her oh shit I probably shouldnt have said that cos now everyone will know it was me the fuck alone you cunts!

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Leave my future bird to be once I hire someone to kidnapp her oh shit I probably shouldnt have said that cos now everyone will know it was me the fuck alone you cunts!

 

The thing she was hating last week was

 

Being bummed hard till it hurts by Skidfingers McGonical. I never knew my ass could stretch so far.

 

 

 

 

I have been watching too much Max Hardcore recently.

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She ain't the brightest of girls but she is harmless and her heart is in the right place. I know this because I've been to a few parties she was at recently. I'd fuck her all over the show and then once again just for luck but I cant so it's best not to dwell on these perverted thoughts.

 

*Punches hard-on*

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She ain't the brightest of girls but she is gormless and her heart is in the right place. I know this because I've been to a few parties she was at recently. I'd fuck her all over the show and then once again just for luck but I cant so it's best not to dwell on these perverted thoughts.

 

*Punches hard-on*

 

Fixed.

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  • 2 months later...
You've got that right - vacuous bimbo hardly does her justice.

 

She gets PAID to write this shite???

 

 

 

I felt brain cells begin to die after two lines. IQ vampire.

 

 

 

(Edit) I would, but she'd better not go shooting her mouth off about it...

 

 

 

 

Reading things like that makes me want to get down on my knees and pray for a nuclear holocaust

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How many of these do you see now? almost everywhere you go they are like fucking russian dolls dyed blonde Hair, fake tan, to much make up, to much flesh on show, and then they speak and you just want someone to get you the fuck out of there i call it the lap dancer look

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How many of these do you see now? almost everywhere you go they are like fucking russian dolls dyed blonde Hair, fake tan, to much make up, to much flesh on show, and then they speak and you just want someone to get you the fuck out of there i call it the lap dancer look

 

Someone on another thread rather brilliantly tagged them ' the terracotta army' which made me chuckle.

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How many of these do you see now? almost everywhere you go they are like fucking russian dolls dyed blonde Hair, fake tan, to much make up, to much flesh on show, and then they speak and you just want someone to get you the fuck out of there i call it the lap dancer look

 

Was saying this last night actually, same goes for lads of a certain age too, either steroids and short hair or lumberjack shirts and pat sharpe hair.

 

In a generic town in a generic world, generic boys and generic girls.

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Tom Ross calls them "sameheads"

 

There's some scally blonde bird in work with massive norks but I can't work out whether she is fit or not, she is dim as fuck and can only talk about her boyfriend or going out. She wears low cut tops and gets a cob on if anyone looks down her top, bit of an attention seeker to be honest, she's like a chubby lookalike of Alex Curran but without the loaded boyfriend.

 

I love the way scally/samehead girls have an inflated opinion of themselves, none of them want to really do any work and expect their fella to fork out tons of cash to keep them in the lifestyle they believe that they should be accustomed to. A lot believe that if Coleeeeen can go on holiday 8 times a year so can they yet expect it to happen without getting off their arse to do it.

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Tom Ross calls them "sameheads"

 

There's some scally blonde bird in work with massive norks but I can't work out whether she is fit or not, she is dim as fuck and can only talk about her boyfriend or going out. She wears low cut tops and gets a cob on if anyone looks down her top, bit of an attention seeker to be honest, she's like a chubby lookalike of Alex Curran but without the loaded boyfriend.

 

I love the way scally/samehead girls have an inflated opinion of themselves, none of them want to really do any work and expect their fella to fork out tons of cash to keep them in the lifestyle they believe that they should be accustomed to. A lot believe that if Coleeeeen can go on holiday 8 times a year so can they yet expect it to happen without getting off their arse to do it.

 

 

Fucking hell, I've met this girl many times!

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