Stuck in an aerolane

[Captain]

What a downer. I'm now currently stuck in a crowded, no space Sterling Boeing 737 at Oslo Airport Gardermoen.

 

The flight was supposed to take off at 1235, but is delayed due to Salzburg Airport (where we're headed) having been temporarily closed due to strong winds earlier today.

 

What really pisses me off is that they made us board the plane, only to tell us after we've boarded that we can't take off until an hour later! Utter fucking cunts, that shit just isn't on. Instead of enjoying a cool Carlsberg at the gate, I'm now stuck in this shitty plane.

 

I fucking hate Sterling with a passion right now.

[Captain]

And if this fucking plane had anything resembling elbow space, I might just have been able to type the thread title correctly! Arrghh!

[Guest TK-421]

Is this the Captain speaking?

[Section_31]

Is this the Captain speaking?

 

hahaha genius!

 

Capo maybe the real reason the plane won't take off is due to electrical interfearance in the cockpit, maybe from mobile phone technology being used to upload to a web server?

[madstock]

From Reuters:

 

Sterling Airways have just announced that they have grounded a Sterling Boeing 737 at Oslo Airport, Gardermoen due to a "Serious Security Risk".

 

Spokesman for the airline, Bollingmoer Pikktryne said "We had no choice - I am not at liberty to disclose the exact nature of the threat, but we have a suspect on board who is not only wearing Crocs, but also boarded with a dead moose slung over one shoulder. Further to this there has been a large amount of internet activity from him, visiting what can only be described as 'dubious sites'."

 

Police and Special Forces are currently surrounding the aircraft with a view to bursting in and killing the suspect, using all necessary force, and with as little collateral damage as possible.

 

Pikktryne continued "Any passengers that survive will of course be offered on miniature bottle of crap wine or a soft drink of their choice at half the usual price."

[Captain]

Is this the Captain speaking?

 

I fucking wish. I'm stuck in 21D, and the chances of me getting a BJ from the stewardess seems pretty slim right now.

[Captain]

We're off, wohooooo!

[hamstrung]

I think that's probably the last we'll hear of Captain.

 

YNWA.

[madstock]

I think that's probably the last we'll hear of Captain.

 

YNWA.

 

He will be sadly missed.

[JohnnyH]

What a downer. I'm now currently stuck in a crowded, no space Sterling Boeing 737 at Oslo Airport Gardermoen.

 

The flight was supposed to take off at 1235, but is delayed due to Salzburg Airport (where we're headed) having been temporarily closed due to strong winds earlier today.

 

What really pisses me off is that they made us board the plane, only to tell us after we've boarded that we can't take off until an hour later! Utter fucking cunts, that shit just isn't on. Instead of enjoying a cool Carlsberg at the gate, I'm now stuck in this shitty plane.

 

I fucking hate Sterling with a passion right now.

 

They've kept you on the aircraft because you're currently SLOT restricted. Your take off SLOT will be in an hour as you say, but if another aircraft misses it's SLOT (which is a very regular occurence) then the next in line gets it's SLOT. If that's your aircraft and you get a SLOT imporvement, you have 10 mins to get all the passengers on board, close the doors and start the engines. I.e., not possible so you'd miss the SLOT improvement and be stuck there.

 

I've regularly seen SLOTs come in from 4 hours to 1 hour. If you'd been having a Carlsberg at the bar you'd be stuck with that 4 hour delay as opposed to been on board the aircarft and then been able to accept the slot and be home in 4 hours having caught the 1 our improvement.

 

It's a pain in the arse but it's done for a reason and all airlines do it.

[madstock]

It's the same as with a Scalextric - if your mode of transport jumps out of it's SLOT, you have to wait for another.

 

Flying a plane is much the same, and a pilot and co-pilot just sit in the cockpit pulling the trigger and taking in the ozone.

[Captain]

From Reuters:

 

Haha! Good work there, Madstock. As for dubious sites, this is what I get when I try to access the GF from the wlan in the hotel:

 

Access To This Webpage Is Restricted

 

(=http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/::IP==10.10.10.100::USER==-::REASON==Weighted phrase limit exceeded.)

 

I shit you not. I had to manually search this thread to get access.