having to work with cunts...

[Bob]

And i dont mean being a gynaeocologist.

 

Why do so many people have to be cunts when it is about work?

 

I'm working for a Client at the moment who is never anything other than a tosser. In every meeting he/she continues to wear his/her bluetooth headset, in the first meeting i had with him/her, i was halfway through explaining something technical to him/her, answering his/her question, when his/her phone rang. he/she looked at it and pressed a button, i assumed he/she had rejected the call as he/she put the phone back down on the table, i continued speaking, all of a sudden he/she was in conversation on his/her headset without anythinkg like an 'excuse me a moment' or 'sorry'. Rude fuck.

 

Now i have just got off the phone to him/her after I have discovered a major flaw in his/her work. He/she then has the gall to tell me 'it would have been useful if you could have told me that 6 months ago when we first instructed you. I only got the information 10 fucking days ago.

 

Anyone else work with complete cunts?

[hamstrung]

And he/she doesn't seem to what sex he/she is either which must make things even more difficult

[Karl_b]

Aye, we have the odd one. Clients that sit on laptops through meetings and then ask you to repeat things are a particular annoyance.

[RedinSweden]

96% of bluetooth headset users are complete and utter cunts. FACT.

[She Knows It]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

[Karl_b]

Put some sort of evil into his website, maybe take the Mr Tourrette approach to website design?

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

I'm self employed, so I feel your pain Bob, I work with the biggest cunt I've ever met every day.

[Redder Lurtz]

96% of bluetooth headset users are complete and utter cunts. FACT.

 

I thought it was 98% but you're right anyway.

 

I used to work for a bloke who would rip people to pieces while they were presenting just for the pure fun of it, like a complete cunt. Then when the person had left the meeting he'd get get all his mini-cunts to rally round him and agree that it was funny but they'd know that they'd get the same treatment whenever they had to present anything.

 

I was made redundant from that place about 3 years ago. It was only the fact that I wanted to guarantee a good reference that stopped me from walking into his office and chinning him one right is his stupid fat face, the cunt.

[madstock]

I'm self employed, so I feel your pain Bob, I work with the biggest cunt I've ever met every day.

 

You swine, you beat me to it...

[coop]

Bob is your client a transvestite.

[madstock]

Actually further to the above I have been trying to get to grips with a very old and neglected site of mine the past few days, which is alas in Polish.

 

Now my Polish isn't great by any stretch of the imagination, and I *know* that all Poles can speak English, but choose not to.

 

Therefore all Poles are cunts.

 

Edit: And that goes double for Finns, too.

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

 

Sweetthang????????

Fuck me. Give me his address SKI and I'll kill him for that alone.

[sparta7]

I used to have a boss who basically didnt give a fuck about anybody except the cronies who would laugh at his little in jokes. He would always rag on me with his scouser jokes and I'd just reply with something like "you're funny you are, you're killing me" while he looked to his little coterie for approval. He hated the fact that I wouldnt rise to his bait.

 

He used to go to breakfast with them in the staff canteen every morning and stuff his oily fat face full of food while they all sat round and laughed at his jokes. They all repulsed me, I wanted to run through them with an AK47. I went down there once as I'd had a heavy night on the beer and I needed a bacon barm, he came over and said "do you mind if we join you?" I said "yes I do actually". I wanted to finish it with "you fat twat" but I needed the job at the time. They sat somewhere else anyway and for that I was grateful.

 

He also supported Leeds, and it was when they were doing well under O'Bleary. When they won he would come in wearing his brand new Leeds scarf, and then make comments like "so Leeds are a bigger club than Liverpool now",and I could only just sit and laugh in his face, which used to annoy him inordinately. I never minded Leeds before but when they hit the buffers I was quite happy because all I could think of was that fat greasy cunt and what he would say. Having said that he's probably moved onto supporting Arsenal now.

 

Anyway, he fingered 2 of his cronies for redundancy ( and me, but I knew he would anyway), and another one he did out of a training course that he had agreed to fund. So he just proved what I knew all along, that he was a cunt.

 

And I sit looking out over the Mersey now and my colleagues are pretty cool, even the Blueshite here.

[Bob]

Bob is your client a transvestite.

 

no, but he/she is a liverpool fan and you never know who is reading this forum do you?

[Cath]

Is this her?

[Bob]

Is this her?

 

there is a resemblance, but he/she wears it in the other ear, so it cant be.

[Unrighteous]

My old job was wall to wall cuntfaced pricks... however, there was lots of proper cunt so it sort of made up for it.

[Plewggs]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

 

Hey Babez,

 

Listen up Sweetthang.

 

As I’ve explained on several occasions, I only gave you the contract in return for a quick leg-over…………….I never mentioned marriage!

 

Furthermore, your contract is for design work only; why are you invoicing me for a rusty hacksaw?

 

Hugs n' squeezes from your fat, repulsive cunt. xxxx

[Remmie]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

This guy is my new hero.

 

100% nailed on top quality leg.

 

How can you not open you legs when presented such an opportunity? You truly are a saint. Fantastic.

 

Hugs n' squeezes xxxx

[Anubis]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

So has Dave Usher asked you to take over the Admin of the TLW website from Willrobbo?

[Christian]

I think any angle to get your leg over is fair game.

I'm certain he is loveable.

[madstock]

If it is the same lecherous cunt that I am thinking of (she does seem to attract them :whistle:), Liz's descriptions always made him sound like a top bloke ... he was "always asking how we were getting along", and certainly had a very affectionate manner in his emails.

 

Worked hard for himself, communicated well, and did his own ironing; what is there not to like about the bloke?

 

(edit: I will still go at him with a lead pipe if you wish, Lezzer)

[She Knows It]

Yeah, it's the same one Mongy. He disappeared for a bit.

 

WillRobbo is working with me on it. Every time the letch comes to me with a content query, I say "You'll have to see Will about that. I'm only doing the design". How many times has he been in touch with Will? About none, I think. I might take Will on full time in a coder/minder capacity.

[Elmyn Noos]

I'm doing a site at the moment for the world's biggest cunt. He starts his emails with "Hey Babez", and "Listen up Sweetthang", and signs them off "Hugs n' squeezes xxxx". He asks me out at least 3 times a week and told me he only gave me this contract because he wants to fuck me.

 

I have to remain polite and professional, and it's so difficult. I can't wait to finish and bank his cheque so I can say "I'd surgically remove my own ribs with a rusty hacksaw and eat my own fanny before I'd let you within spitting distance of me you fat, repulsive cunt".

 

I like the cut of his jib. Did you think you'd won the contract on some sort of merit then SKI? Surely if he'd not been after a fuck, he would have given the job to a bloke to do and get a full 4 weeks work out of the month?

[madstock]

Yeah, it's the same one Mongy. He disappeared for a bit.

 

TC (short for "The Cunt", quite handily): "Hey Liz, how are things with you and Duncan?"

LM (short for Lezzer Mad-as-a-box-of-frogs): "Fantastic thanks"

TC: "Err ... I'm disappearing for a bit..."

 

<two weeks later>

 

TC: "Hey Liz, how are things with you and Duncan?"

LM: "Depends on the day of the week - he's a queeny flouncer and I am a thermonuclear psycho"

TC: "Smoooth babez - hugz, quick shag? Bring round a bottle of wine and make you enlist a friend to come and sit with you?"

 

(Well that's how I imagine it went, and I don't reckon I am far wrong there).

 

If you ever need to see him again, when he comes round make sure you are polishing my shoes and are humming "It Must Be Love" or something.

 

I don't mind being used, particularly in Anti-Cunt measures.