Have a rant thread

[Guest davelfc]

Dog walkers - cunts.

 

I've just been for a run along the canal near me and twice had dogs jumping up at me. The second one was a big fucking thing that according to the owner was a puppy, wouldn't bite and was 'only learning' (I'm not good with breeds but it was fucking big puppy, larger than a labrador, brown in colour with a line down it's back). I went back passed her and she held its collar - letting go when I was about 3 meters away so it obviously went for me again. I told her she was irresponsible and that it should be on a lead, she told me it was my fault for running and being scared. I told her if it came near me again they were both going in the fucking canal.

 

What's the law here, surely they should be on a lead. Can I twat one in self defence? Any postmen with advice?

 

Ultrasonic 3-Mode Dog Trainer and Repeller with 2-LED Flashlight - Free Shipping - DealExtreme

 

Buy that for around £6.60 inc postage.

 

2. God squad drivers with that fucking fish on the back.

 

The 'BMW' (big mouthed wankers) badge annoys me more. But I understand your point.

[Rico1304]

I'd think twice before trying to throw one in a canal. In Africa they were used to hunt lions and baboons and I'm fairly certain it could swim out of the canal and come and get you!

 

I think you are right, I'd have been better off jumping in myself.

[Uncle_Meat]

Saturday fucking shoppers at Tesco in Old Swanm clogging up the car park and being total twats when it comes to letting any kind of traffic flow whatsoever.

 

I wouldn't mind, I only nipped in for some milk, 20 Bensons and the paper but as soon as I turned in I knew I was onto a loser. Cars snaking around the entire fucking car park. Finally got parked, nipped in only to wait about 15 minutes just to get served at the ciggy counter, the usual old biffers in front "Oooh. Just do this lottery ticket. Hang, on. Here's another one." and so on, taking a veritable fucking ice age each to get served, the poor lass at the counter to'ing and fro'ing between all the "Ohhh. One more thing.." JUST TELL HER WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT ALL IN ONE GO YOU WIZENED OLD TWATS"

 

To top it off, the car park was still jammed. It took me an entire certain sporting event featuring some teams from London for me to finally get out onto St.Ozzie street. At one point I got out the car for 10 mins or so for a smoke, got back in and nothing had moved in that time. Add that to other twats blocking the lanes up by trying to squeeze into the smallest gaps, therefore stopping other cars coming the other way and then being able to reverse back to let traffic through as the cunt behind them has now squeezed up to the back of them.

 

Utter fucking horrendous day, made me late as fuck for taking my mam to the pub for a scran and fucked me up for getting a ticket for another local sporting event.

[VladimirIlyich]

Saturday fucking shoppers at Tesco in Old Swanm clogging up the car park and being total twats when it comes to letting any kind of traffic flow whatsoever.

 

I wouldn't mind' date=' I only nipped in for some milk, 20 Bensons and the paper but as soon as I turned in I knew I was onto a loser. Cars snaking around the entire fucking car park. Finally got parked, nipped in only to wait about 15 minutes just to get served at the ciggy counter, the usual old biffers in front "Oooh. Just do this lottery ticket. Hang, on. Here's another one." and so on, taking a veritable fucking ice age each to get served, the poor lass at the counter to'ing and fro'ing between all the "Ohhh. One more thing.." JUST TELL HER WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT ALL IN ONE GO YOU WIZENED OLD TWATS"

 

To top it off, the car park was still jammed. It took me an entire certain sporting event featuring some teams from London for me to finally get out onto St.Ozzie street. At one point I got out the car for 10 mins or so for a smoke, got back in and nothing had moved in that time. Add that to other twats blocking the lanes up by trying to squeeze into the smallest gaps, therefore stopping other cars coming the other way and then being able to reverse back to let traffic through as the cunt behind them has now squeezed up to the back of them.

 

Utter fucking horrendous day, made me late as fuck for taking my mam to the pub for a scran and fucked me up for getting a ticket for another local sporting event.[/quote']

 

Asda in runcorn is same especially the Petrol and not just on a weekend.

Theyve shut the nearest competitor and often one of the pay kiosks is unmanned or unwomanned more likely.

Ridiculous,especially near chrimbo.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Blimey uncle meat...if lung cancer don't get yeh....a heart attack will!

 

"don't worry....bout a ting"!

[billypilgrimnz]

6. People who talk over the first 5 minutes of every film and then ask, "what's happening"

 

Related: when something happens in a movie that isn't immediately explained to create mystery for later, and someone inevitably asks "What did he do that for?"

[Guest davelfc]

Related: when something happens in a movie that isn't immediately explained to create mystery for later, and a woman inevitably asks "What did he do that for?"

 

Yep I hate that too.

[setreal]

Related: when something happens in a movie that isn't immediately explained to create mystery for later, and someone inevitably asks "What did he do that for?"

 

Invite them to watch Inland Empire with you. That will cure them.

[Unrighteous]

Related: when something happens in a movie that isn't immediately explained to create mystery for later, and someone inevitably asks "What did he do that for?"

 

It's almost always a woman who asks...

 

Just shut the fuck up and watch, I'm sure they'll explain shortly!

[Moss is Boss]

It's almost always a woman who asks...

 

Just shut the fuck up and watch, I'm sure they'll explain shortly!

 

OMG Spot on the pain us men have to endure !

[Harry Squatter]

Sports fucking Direct, went there for a pair of AstroTurf trainers at lunch, the place is always heaving but there is never anyone around to help you. Tracked downsomeone and gave them 4 pairs of trainers and said "can you get any of them in a size 10?" fucks off for ten minutes then returns with a pair I never even asked for trying to blag me that they were virtually the same as what I asked for. I told him I didn't want them and he started getting all arsey then said "I've got a size 7 in those ones if that's any good". Nope mate not going to squeeze into them am I?.

 

He told me to try the other shop by Clayton square but he said he was too busy to phone up to see if they had them in stock. Walked all the way over there and got 3 Astros that I wanted and gave them to the shop assistant who I had rudely interrupted talking to his mate. He fucks off into the stockroom for ten minutes then brings a size 8 out. I just flipped and said "fuck that mate I'll buy them off the Internet". On the way out I saw some lad from my work arguing with one of the sales assistants. He said he had given the guy a size 9 shoe but when he got to the till one was size 9 and the other was a size 7. The brain dead scally said to him"arr lad I got confused with the American sizes lad but we haven't got any nines left".

 

Don't buy anything from there. Owned by a fat twat and employs fucking morons.

[Furmedge]

 

Related: when something happens in a movie that isn't immediately explained to create mystery for later' date=' and someone inevitably asks "What did he do that for?"[/quote']

 

Additionally if you're watching a film with someone who has seen it before and every ten minutes go, "It's good this bit."

[md1892]

Additionally if you're watching a film with someone who has seen it before and every ten minutes go, "It's good this bit."

I'm a right cunt for that, usually because someone will ask what's going on ten mins time.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Sorry Doc Troy but must beg to differ...

 

Ordered(Monday) a pair of Nike air max trainers

Real Madrid Home shirt

England Home Rugby Shirt

Liverpool 3rd kit shorts

 

£151.99 the lot and will be,if an e mail plus my last order is anything to go by at my dads at some point today...tomorrow now for that price/service....i don't think Sports Direct can be beated on value/service..... HOWEVER i give you Greggs...the bakers..!!!!

 

Doing away with the sandwich/baguette meal deal,different sandwich every day if you like,bottled drin/crisps sorted.....WAS a great deal...1st it went up by 20p now done away with...WHY? A small thing, but bloody irritating!

[Furmedge]

I know I've mentioned them before, as well as others, but fucking hell the Post Office really are wank! Ours opens at 8.30 and I needed to send a parcel today so I thought I'd get there handy. Got in a queue of 3 at 8.25 (it's inside a Newsagents so I didn't need to hang around outside) and there was one girl cashing up. At 8.30 she opens her window and starts serving, then a second worker toddles through at 8.35 past the queue of about 7 people now and goes behind her desk calling the person in front of me to her window. Not even a hint of regret she's already 5 minutes late.

 

She finishes serving her customer and I walk over with my package, then without even a glance or acknowledgement of me there says, "I can't serve you, I can't get in my machine." Like a big snotty twat she was. Like she was better than me and she ruled. My reply of "and they say customer service is dead?" didn't even register with her and I had to go back into the queue to be served by the other girl who was far more pleasant, and on time for work to boot. At this point the soft arse next to her comes out with, "If I can't sort this I'm going home and you'll have to make do on your own." If the daft cow had been on time and sorted her shit out before customers arrived she may have had a better start to the day. Wonderwhopper.

[Harry Squatter]

Sorry Doc Troy but must beg to differ...

 

Ordered(Monday) a pair of Nike air max trainers

Real Madrid Home shirt

England Home Rugby Shirt

Liverpool 3rd kit shorts

 

£151.99 the lot and will be,if an e mail plus my last order is anything to go by at my dads at some point today...tomorrow now for that price/service....i don't think Sports Direct can be beated on value/service..... HOWEVER i give you Greggs...the bakers..!!!!

 

Doing away with the sandwich/baguette meal deal,different sandwich every day if you like,bottled drin/crisps sorted.....WAS a great deal...1st it went up by 20p now done away with...WHY? A small thing, but bloody irritating!

 

 

I went online and ordered that night, got some decent Astros and a few pairs of footy socks, good value I'll agree but my rant was more about their awful shops. I am amazed they can stay in business given the level of shite service they give and the fact that everyone who works there seems to be completely brain dead.

[lifetime fan]

Their shops are like jumble sales in airport hangers.

[The Economist]

Fucking aftershave and perfume adverts. What the fucking fuck. The most pretentious bullshit laden shite that has ever polluted my senses they are. You spend the first twenty seconds wondering what the fuck they're selling and then clock on, 'oh it must be an aftershave ad BECAUSE IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!'. Car ads are getting just as bad as well.

[Liverpool lad]

Fucking women and their fucking pitiful attempts at dieting, 'oh I had chicken, rice and potatoes last night'

 

But you have filled your face all day you fucking whale

[Unrighteous]

Fucking women and their fucking pitiful attempts at dieting, 'oh I had chicken, rice and potatoes last night'

 

But you have filled your face all day you fucking whale

 

That doesn't even make sense as a meal... Two starches and a protein. Where is your fucking greens?

[Liverpool lad]

 

That doesn't even make sense as a meal... Two starches and a protein. Where is your fucking greens?

 

There might of been vegetables in there, but it is a bit of a blur because I was fucking fuming

[Champ]

There's always 'steamed' vegetables in these diets!

 

So they're 'on a diet' so they can fill their faces over Christmas just in time to get on the whatever the new fad diet is being advertised after Christmas, usually involves cabbage or soup or something, to tide them over til its time for the 'get back into your bikini' diet. How could you live like that?

[Stouffer]

Shouty x-factor/Brian Blessed style voiceover dicks who seem to be on every tv program, radio show or advert.

 

Please; please crawl away and die in a ditch somewhere, alone and cold.

 

Utter, utter arseholes.

[Trumo]

Fucking aftershave and perfume adverts. What the fucking fuck. The most pretentious bullshit laden shite that has ever polluted my senses they are. You spend the first twenty seconds wondering what the fuck they're selling and then clock on, 'oh it must be an aftershave ad BECAUSE IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!'. Car ads are getting just as bad as well.

 

If you watch any perfume ad, they never actually mention the product until the end. The don't show it being used during the advert either. If it is men's perfume, there will be loads of shots of sharp suits or bare torsos. If its' women's perfume, it will either be a celebrity or something approaching softcore porn, or both. The only variations on the theme will involve some gappy-toothed emaciated 'supermodel' pretending to eat something.

 

Car adverts at least show the car during the advert.

 

Shouty x-factor/Brian Blessed style voiceover dicks who seem to be on every tv program, radio show or advert.

 

Please; please crawl away and die in a ditch somewhere, alone and cold.

 

Utter, utter arseholes.

 

I've ranted about this before. It's basically copying the voiceover style from Little Britain (posh bloke talking 'chavvy') and it is used in EVERYTHING!

[cochyn]

Twitter. Well, not twitter exactly. But newspapers regurgitating some utterly incosequential arse-hanging non-event as 'news'. Today the Independent went with "Jamie O'Hara quits Twitter".

 

WHO THE FUCKING FUCK ACTUALLY FUCKING CARES!?

 

It puts the Leveson inquiry into a totally different light: If the methods employed by journalists range from skulduggery for a cracking story to trawling twitter for celebrity sock-drawer stories, then give me a fucking good exposé borne out of phone hacking, bribery, sexual manipulation and blackmail any fucking day. Anything to save the world from reading about Jamie O'Hara changing his method of social networking.