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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

I have a flat tyre and out wheel nut key is not in the car.  Having torn both cars apart and the house just in case it now seems increasingly likely that she threw it away when tidying up the car before our trip to France in the summer. So now I need to get the car to a tyre place on a flat, have them remove and replace the bolts for God knows how much and then sort the tyre out. Because she wanted the car to look nice. 

A woman in the job had a flat and when I asked her what happened to her spare tyre, as it wasn't in the boot, they took it out and replaced it with a sub. Ffs. Husbands idea. 

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I’ve no interest in being friendly with our neighbours, all we have in common is living on the same street. New people moved in next door, I reminded the wife of my policy.  
 

Got home one night last week and she said they’d invited us round tonight. I told her I hoped she had a lovely time but I wouldn’t be going. 
 

Turns out;

- he’s a actuary 

- doesn’t drink

- his wife doesn’t drink

- they do drink almond milk

- he plays the piano

- he’s right (he’s currently sitting in a freezing house as the heating packed up last week)

 

She didn’t have a lovely time. 

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She told me this afternoon that we can upgrade our son's mobility car from next month and wants to choose one with  £750 deposit. When I asked her where this money was coming from seeing as I haven't had any overtime since July and we've done fuck all for months she called me a miserable negative twat. Simply for not thinking money grows on trees.

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56 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’ve no interest in being friendly with our neighbours, all we have in common is living on the same street. New people moved in next door, I reminded the wife of my policy.  
 

Got home one night last week and she said they’d invited us round tonight. I told her I hoped she had a lovely time but I wouldn’t be going. 
 

Turns out;

- he’s a actuary 

- doesn’t drink

- his wife doesn’t drink

- they do drink almond milk

- he plays the piano

- he’s right (he’s currently sitting in a freezing house as the heating packed up last week)

 

She didn’t have a lovely time. 

He sounds like the type of bloke to poor vinegar in the empty ketchup bottle.

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30 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

She told me this afternoon that we can upgrade our son's mobility car from next month and wants to choose one with  £750 deposit. When I asked her where this money was coming from seeing as I haven't had any overtime since July and we've done fuck all for months she called me a miserable negative twat. Simply for not thinking money grows on trees.

Isn't there a £600 good condition bonus on return of the other car, at the end of the lease? 

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14 hours ago, Elite said:

He sounds like the type of bloke to poor vinegar in the empty ketchup bottle.

I doubt very much you’d find a bottle of ketchup in their house

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Well that was embarrassing. 

 

We live in a house where all our rooms are on one level. So I awoke this morning and left our bedroom which leads into the main front room and  then in to the hallway where we have two bathrooms. Dressed only in my Boxer shorts and scratching my parts in that early morning ritual known only to men I was faced with the missus and this youngish girl (about 24) in front of the other bathroom door down the hallway having a chat. Morning she said, as my hand left my parts and I casually replied with a good morning of my own. Nice of the missus to let me know the plumber (or his daughter in this case) was in the house checking the boiler. 

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I awoke this morning and left our bedroom which leads into the main front room and  then in to the hallway where we have two bathrooms. Dressed only in my Boxer shorts and scratching my parts in that early morning ritual known only to men...  This was a perfectly innocent misunderstanding....

 

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12 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

Well that was embarrassing. 

 

We live in a house where all our rooms are on one level. So I awoke this morning and left our bedroom which leads into the main front room and  then in to the hallway where we have two bathrooms. Dressed only in my Boxer shorts and scratching my parts in that early morning ritual known only to men I was faced with the missus and this youngish girl (about 24) in front of the other bathroom door down the hallway having a chat. Morning she said, as my hand left my parts and I casually replied with a good morning of my own. Nice of the missus to let me know the plumber (or his daughter in this case) was in the house checking the boiler. 

You should have put on your CD of "Bow Chicka Wow Wow -100 Great Porn Guitar Riffs" and seen how the situation developed

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Watching Graham Norton from last night now. Helena Bonham-Carter is on and I thought she wasn't wearing a poppy. Then I noticed she was. 

 

My bird "Oh I need to buy one this week"

 

"well remembrance sunday is tomorrow"

 

"Isn't it Monday?"

 

She is watching me type this asking me not to post this but she has no chance. 

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2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Watching Graham Norton from last night now. Helena Bonham-Carter is on and I thought she wasn't wearing a poppy. Then I noticed she was. 

 

My bird "Oh I need to buy one this week"

 

"well remembrance sunday is tomorrow"

 

"Isn't it Monday?"

 

She is watching me type this asking me not to post this but she has no chance. 

You prefer sex with men anyway.

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Her: why do you walk past everything in the house without clearing things up?.

 

Yesterday.

 

Her: where are those three boxes I left on the kitchen table?

 

Me: I threw them out

 

Her: why did you do that?

 

Me: they had been left lying round for 3 days

 

Her: they were for our daughters science project 

 

Me: well you never told me

 

Her:  well you should have had the nous to think on, why do you think they were there for 3 days?

 

Me: well you always tell me to throw stuff out

 

Her: not this time, you should have known they were being  used for something.

 

Me. Fuck off.

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4 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Her: why do you walk past everything in the house without clearing things up?.

 

Yesterday.

 

Her: where are those three boxes I left on the kitchen table?

 

Me: I threw them out

 

Her: why did you do that?

 

Me: they had been left lying round for 3 days

 

Her: they were for our daughters science project 

 

Me: well you never told me

 

Her:  well you should have had the nous to think on, why do you think they were there for 3 days?

 

Me: well you always tell me to throw stuff out

 

Her: not this time, you should have known they were being  used for something.

 

Me. Fuck off.

How many doors has she walked into today? 

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12 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Her: why do you walk past everything in the house without clearing things up?.

 

Yesterday.

 

Her: where are those three boxes I left on the kitchen table?

 

Me: I threw them out

 

Her: why did you do that?

 

Me: they had been left lying round for 3 days

 

Her: they were for our daughters science project 

 

Me: well you never told me

 

Her:  well you should have had the nous to think on, why do you think they were there for 3 days?

 

Me: well you always tell me to throw stuff out

 

Her: not this time, you should have known they were being  used for something.

 

Me. Fuck off.

That's it though isn't it? They always assume you know everything that you haven't been told about.

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2 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

That's it though isn't it? They always assume you know everything that you haven't been told about.

Yep. My missus is always asking me to clean things up but as soon as I do its 'Where's that thing?' 'Where's this thing?' 'You weren't supposed to throw that out.' I just don't bother now.

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My missus is off to Edinburgh with her mates at the weekend. She has just messaged her uncle who is working up there asking how cold it is. He replied saying it is -8. This was earlier this afternoon. 

 

She has just come in and casually told me that its -8 in Edinburgh so she has told the girls on the whatsapp-group they really need to wrap up. 

 

I'm in tears. 

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I really haven't got fucking clue what goes on inside their heads. Me and Her Indoors haven't been speaking for a couple of days over something utterly trivial.

 

Anyway she calls me over and says 'try this on'. It's a new winter jacket that she has just bought for me out of the blue that is ideal. I say lovely thanks, thank you.

 

She's still not talking to me.

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