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Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

Carvalho Diablo

By Carvalho Diablo,
in GF - General Forum

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Bruce Spanner Grand Master

Bruce Spanner

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Has anyone ever...been in prison?

 

Not sure if I've told this story before so if I have excuse me.

 

I've made mention I was an ethical junkie back in the day as I had a couple of chemissty PhD's making designer nonsense for fuckheads like me and my mates gratis, keep this in mind.

 

Friends 21st, we're drinking tequila shots over an early tea, 5/6(ish) as his parents have put aside £20 each for food each for all of us, they were posh the had a building company. Anyhows we all order the cheapest thing on the menu and the cheapest bottle of wine cause we were grown ups and shit. Then the pubs, then the bars, then the nightclubs... 

 

Fast forward 4/5 hours and yours truly is fucking oblitarated and bumps in to the chemists, by complete coincidence, and they give me a few tablets for 'whenever'.

 

Things get silly and I get thrown through a partition in a night club.

 

Bouncers, quite rightly, take exception to this and drag me outside and threaten to kick my head in. Thankfully the club owner exceptionally pissed off that I'd ruined the handiwork he'd genuinely had done the previous day, was less forgiving and wanted me arrested, charged and hung so stopped them and made sure they phone the police.

 

Fuck.

 

I panic and swallow the pill, only two, but stupidly strong, for fear of being charged and then having drugs on me.

 

I'm arrested, handcuffed, waggoned and thrown in a cell.....

 

I put my head on the mat and come up quicker than I ever have on any drug ever in a holding cell!

 

Hours on my own off my tits, high as a mother fucker in a cell.

 

Morning comes, the arresting officers aren't arsed as we just had a conversation about Freud and I lied my arse of about what actually happened.

 

I'm cast out in the cold harsh morning, sans shoe laces and dignity and with a caution for criminal damage up to the value of £25,000 and a fucking stinking comedown.

 

Managed to just get home in time for a full family sunday roast, that was tough.

 

I miss being young and stupid.

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Bjornebye Grand Master

Bjornebye

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Not sure if I've told this story before so if I have excuse me.

 

I've made mention I was an ethical junkie back in the day as I had a couple of chemissty PhD's making designer nonsense for fuckheads like me and my mates gratis, keep this in mind.

 

Friends 21st, we're drinking tequila shots over an early tea, 5/6(ish) as his parents have put aside £20 each for food each for all of us, they were posh the had a building company. Anyhows we all order the cheapest thing on the menu and the cheapest bottle of wine cause we were grown ups and shit. Then the pubs, then the bars, then the nightclubs... 

 

Fast forward 4/5 hours and yours truly is fucking oblitarated and bumps in to the chemists, by complete coincidence, and they give me a few tablets for 'whenever'.

 

Things get silly and I get thrown through a partition in a night club.

 

Bouncers, quite rightly, take exception to this and drag me outside and threaten to kick my head in. Thankfully the club owner exceptionally pissed off that I'd ruined the handiwork he'd genuinely had done the previous day, was less forgiving and wanted me arrested, charged and hung so stopped them and made sure they phone the police.

 

Fuck.

 

I panic and swallow the pill, only two, but stupidly strong, for fear of being charged and then having drugs on me.

 

I'm arrested, handcuffed, waggoned and thrown in a cell.....

 

I put my head on the mat and come up quicker than I ever have on any drug ever in a holding cell!

 

Hours on my own off my tits, high as a mother fucker in a cell.

 

Morning comes, the arresting officers aren't arsed as we just had a conversation about Freud and I lied my arse of about what actually happened.

 

I'm cast out in the cold harsh morning, sans shoe laces and dignity and with a caution for criminal damage up to the value of £25,000 and a fucking stinking comedown.

 

Managed to just get home in time for a full family sunday roast, that was tough.

 

I miss being young and stupid.

The question was prison not a night in the cells! Fuck me who hasn't had a night in them?! 

 

Great story though 

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RJ Fan club Grand Master

RJ Fan club

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Has anyone ever...been in prison?

I visited several prisons for work reasons. The work reason wasn’t being caught. One prison was/is listed so they needed consent to change the slates and do fire precaution works, the other was a minor thing. 

 

Prisoners were moved away and I didn’t meet any. On one occasion  the guy from the Home Office was a macho prick, the eye rolling of the Prison Officers confirmed this. 

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RJ Fan club Grand Master

RJ Fan club

Posted
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3 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Has anyone ever completed a Panini sticker album without having to send off for stickers? I completed the Strawberry Shortcake and F******l ‘88 albums. I achieved the latter with the help of a

swap shop event held in, I think, WH Smith.

1987, the at the Liverpool at double centre spread I managed to fuck up though and got the stickers horribly wrong. Haunts me to this day 

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Jarvinja Ilnow Grand Master

Jarvinja Ilnow

Posted
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5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I visited my mates brother in Altcourse when I was home on leave from the Navy while I was still in training. I felt awful when he was asking me how it was and stuff, at that time in our lives all that we had in common was seeing plenty of cocks in the showers. Grim place, and that was just visiting. They should walk teenage brats around a prison and show them where they'll end up if they don't stop being a prick. 

I did one working visit there, helping on a pre-sentence report. The wing governor told us Purple Aki was a current guest there. I was quite out of shape but my colleague was a gym bunny. It was great seeing the look on his face when he heard that.

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Remmie Grand Master

Remmie

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Posted

I've scuba'd about 20 metres from a single shark, does that count? Also hot air ballooned. I think I might have worn some shorts with a back pocket once. 

 

All mad stories I'm sure you'll agree. 

 

Has anyone ever hit someone in the head with some type of bat/knuckle duster? 

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