The world of a woman.

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Dunno. I’m on the couch. 

Hahahahaha

[lifetime fan]

[Captain Turdseye]

Not sure what thread this deserves to go in but I saw something fucking amazing on the road today. 
 

I was waiting to pull out onto the road and a little old lady went zooming past in a battered old Fiat Panda. Dunno how fast she was going but it was well over 30mph. I pulled onto the road behind her and a little way further up the street is one of those raised zebra crossings. Like a massive speed bump basically. 
 

She didn’t slow down one bit! She ended up literally airborne and when she came back down I could see the car wobbling a bit as she fought to keep control. 
 

I was pissing myself laughing and was a little bit gutted when she went a different way to me over the roundabout at the end of the street, still going way too fast as she went across it. 

[VladimirIlyich]

12 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Not sure what thread this deserves to go in but I saw something fucking amazing on the road today. 
 

I was waiting to pull out onto the road and a little old lady went zooming past in a battered old Fiat Panda. Dunno how fast she was going but it was well over 30mph. I pulled onto the road behind her and a little way further up the street is one of those raised zebra crossings. Like a massive speed bump basically. 
 

She didn’t slow down one bit! She ended up literally airborne and when she came back down I could see the car wobbling a bit as she fought to keep control. 
 

I was pissing myself laughing and was a little bit gutted when she went a different way to me over the roundabout at the end of the street, still going way too fast as she went across it. 

I'm pissing myself just reading that. 

[Bjornebye]

Rumour has it she’s still going 

[Trumo]

13 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I was pissing myself laughing and was a little bit gutted when she went a different way to me over the roundabout at the end of the street, still going way too fast as she went across it. 

 

[Bjornebye]

She’s a dopey twat. I’ve always had a soft spot for Benfica since I was a kid and told her to grab me a badge when she was in Lisbon last week. Forgot I’d asked anyway she’s just found a little wrapped up pressie in her bag “oh I got you something I completely forgot!”

[Harry Squatter]

I love the way loads of women go on about men being jealous and insecure. Just ask one of them to go to Hooters for dinner and see what type of response you'll get. 

 

[Pete]

3 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

I love the way loads of women go on about men being jealous and insecure. Just ask one of them to go to Hooters for dinner and see what type of response you'll get. 

 

Prefer AC/DC's version myself. 

[littletedwest]

Been doing a stadium tour at a certain sporting institution today.

Took a picture of the ian rush mural.

Showed it to her when I got home. " is that Hitler?"

This wasn't a joke she genuinely believed someone had a mural of Hitler on the side of their house. Despite the fact the lower picture has him in a football kit.

[Section_31]

Dunno if it's a woman thing but my Mrs has got the worst spatial awareness I've ever seen. 

 

If we're in town shopping or somewhere and it's crowded, I'll be able to clock the movement of the crowd and avoid people, I'll speed up or slow down or whatever, but she'll just meander right through them. You see people stopping in their tracks and looking as if to say "what the fuck?". 

[littletedwest]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Dunno if it's a woman thing but my Mrs has got the worst spatial awareness I've ever seen. 

 

If we're in town shopping or somewhere and it's crowded, I'll be able to clock the movement of the crowd and avoid people, I'll speed up or slow down or whatever, but she'll just meander right through them. You see people stopping in their tracks and looking as if to say "what the fuck?". 

Exactly the same with mine

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Dunno if it's a woman thing but my Mrs has got the worst spatial awareness I've ever seen. 

 

If we're in town shopping or somewhere and it's crowded, I'll be able to clock the movement of the crowd and avoid people, I'll speed up or slow down or whatever, but she'll just meander right through them. You see people stopping in their tracks and looking as if to say "what the fuck?". 

Mines the same. I hate walking next to her she pretty much walks into me I’ve found myself in the road because she’s budged into me so much. She did it on James St a few months ago and I nearly got smashed by a bus. Thick as fuck. 

[Creator Supreme]

Spatial awareness is definitely a woman thing. My wife and both of my daughters have no fucking clue what or who is around them when they're walking down the street.

 

I'm sick of telling them to watch they're walking. I'm tempted to let them bump into people and fight they're own battles.

[tokyojoe]

They have absolutely no comprehension of time. I came out of the shower and yelled downstairs 'how long will dinner be'?

 

Back comes the answer '20 minutes'. Fine, that'll give me enough time to draft something up and get it sent out.

 

Three minutes later 'dinner'!

 

I fucking give up.

[manwiththestick]

Ordered a bar of Dairy Milk off Amazon Prime.

[Paulie Dangerously]

10 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Dunno if it's a woman thing but my Mrs has got the worst spatial awareness I've ever seen. 

 

If we're in town shopping or somewhere and it's crowded, I'll be able to clock the movement of the crowd and avoid people, I'll speed up or slow down or whatever, but she'll just meander right through them. You see people stopping in their tracks and looking as if to say "what the fuck?". 

Don't get me started on the wardrobe again 

[Bob]

1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Don't get me started on the wardrobe again 

We were all thinking it, Paulie. 

[lifetime fan]

We’ve been having this exact conversation over and over again for weeks…

 

Me: Have you cancelled the insurance on the Mondeo babe? 

Her: No, but I will. 

Me: Ok babe but you’ve been saying that for 3 weeks. 

Her: I’ve been busy! 

Me: I know you have babe but please can you make sure you do it. 

Her: Of course I’ll do it. Like I do everything else around here! 

Today. 

Me: Babe, did you cancel the Mondeo insurance because I’ve just been charged for another month? 

Her: I was going to but I forgot and ran out of time. 

Me: Ok, don’t worry about it. 

Her: Why are you being a prick? I assume you reckon it’s somehow my fault!

[Bjornebye]

Without fail when I get up to make a hot drink I'll ask if she wants one. She will say no thanks then just as the kettles boiled shout through "Oh go on I'll have an earl grey". Every fucking time. Part of me thinks she's on a forum of her own, some mums net type shit laughing about it. The other part of me wonders what her head would look like on a stick. 

[Harry's Lad]

I'm sat there wondering why the radiator in the livvy was so hot but the house wouldn't warm up this morning.

Mrs HL had left the bathroom and bedroom windows and doors wide open 'to air the house out'.

It was minus fucking 3 outside.

 

 

 

 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

MrsD received an email a couple of weeks ago telling her that her car needs its MOT before the end of December. 

 

She told me yesterday. I've rang about 15 garages and not one can fit us in because they are shutting for some reason at the end of December. 

 

 

[sir roger]

I hate the wife shouting ' Come and have a look at this ' from another room.

No, I need more data to see if I can be arsed.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

I hate the wife shouting ' Come and have a look at this ' from another room.

No, I need more data to see if I can be arsed.

I just get a shout. And then its usually nothing much at all. Usually a big deal over nothing. Enough about the bedroom though ....

[Special K]

My wife is in charge of the car. All insurance, the car itself etc..are in her name. She deals with everything. She was busy last week so asked me to arrange a service. I did, only to be told a few days later that they couldn't pick the car up as the MOT ran out in April!!!!!!