The world of a woman.

[Mook]

The last few days I've been sitting in Princes Street gardens to have my sandwich & you hear birds on the phone all the time trying to find their pals, it's fucking hilarious. Some examples:-

 

"I'm on the left side of Princes Street, are you on the right? I'll come to the right." Would East & West not make more sense?

"I'm right next to the big wheel near the statue." She's about 400yds from the big wheel & there are statues all over the shop.

"Are you near the castle? I am, I'll keep walking." The whole street is near the castle.

 

I had to help the bird I work next to with a bus yesterday as well, despite living in Edinburgh for 50 years she didn't know what side of the street to stand on to get the bus to the hospital.

[Hand Shandy]

East or west? No chance they'd understand that concept.

[Champ]

East or west? No chance they'd understand that concept.

And the different ends of Prince’s St are known as the West End and the East end

[Hand Shandy]

I bet there are loads of women just walking round and round in circles, aren't there?

[Bellflower]

I bet there are loads of women just walking round and round in circles, aren't there?

It's called shopping...........

[Mook]

And the different ends of Prince’s St are known as the West End and the East end

 

What's going on with that apostrophe, Champ?

[Champ]

What's going on with that apostrophe, Champ?

Must be a bit of dirt on your screen

[Remmie]

What's Mook's porn watching got to do with anything?

[tokyojoe]

The last few days I've been sitting in Princes Street gardens to have my sandwich & you hear birds on the phone all the time trying to find their pals, it's fucking hilarious. Some examples:-

 

"I'm on the left side of Princes Street, are you on the right? I'll come to the right." Would East & West not make more sense?

"I'm right next to the big wheel near the statue." She's about 400yds from the big wheel & there are statues all over the shop.

"Are you near the castle? I am, I'll keep walking." The whole street is near the castle.

 

I had to help the bird I work next to with a bus yesterday as well, despite living in Edinburgh for 50 years she didn't know what side of the street to stand on to get the bus to the hospital.

They get totally baffled by directions Mark. They need a sat nav to get to the bog.

[tokyojoe]

The fact they spend hours watching shite like that is a worry in itself.

Further to this despite being very intelligent with letters after her name Her Indoors is now watching a pre-recorded 'the real brainless bimbos of Beverly Hills'.

 

I have always struggled to work out why garbage programs like this are made then realised it's because wimmin watch them.

[Champ]

Further to this despite being very intelligent with letters after her name Her Indoors is now watching a pre-recorded 'the real brainless bimbos of Beverly Hills'.

 

I have always struggled to work out why garbage programs like this are made then realised it's because wimmin watch them.

Not this one!

[tokyojoe]

Not this one!

Good for you Cath!

[Dougie Do'ins]

Last night in the pub during the Croatian national anthem.

 

Woman 1 } Look at them. Where the fuck is Croatia anyway ?

 

Woman 2 } I think it's somewhere in Poland.

[Trumo]

Last night in the pub during the Croatian national anthem.

 

Woman 1 } Look at them. Where the fuck is Croatia anyway ?

 

Woman 2 } I think it's somewhere in Poland.

 

Split arses in Krakow.

[Remmie]

A group of mates went to watch the f**tball yesterday and a couple of girls turned up to join in with all the excitement and proceeded to talk about love Island all the way through 120 minutes of it

[tokyojoe]

Last night in the pub during the Croatian national anthem.

 

Woman 1 } Look at them. Where the fuck is Croatia anyway ?

 

Woman 2 } I think it's somewhere in Poland.

At least they got the correct continent.

[Dr Nowt]

A group of mates went to watch the f**tball yesterday and a couple of girls turned up to join in with all the excitement and proceeded to talk about love Island all the way through 120 minutes of it

Sounds grim.

 

Predictable, repetitious, low-brow guff you could script yourself featuring tattooed, shallow non-entities, with 2 lasses chatting about Love Island over it.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Sounds grim.

 

Predictable, repetitious, low-brow guff you could script yourself featuring tattooed, shallow non-entities, with 2 lasses chatting about Love Island over it.

I lol'd

[tokyojoe]

A group of mates went to watch the f**tball yesterday and a couple of girls turned up to join in with all the excitement and proceeded to talk about love Island all the way through 120 minutes of it

What the fuck is Love Island? Sounds like I should be grateful I don't watch much (modern anyway) TV.

[Paulie Dangerously]

What the fuck is Love Island? Sounds like I should be grateful I don't watch much (modern anyway) TV.

 

LadyD has been watching "Love Island" which I have told her devalues her, and by extension me.  20 vacuous people in a villa pretending to be couples , shagging, and then splitting and re:coupling at the producers whim. It's probably the nadir of reality television.

 

The bits I have seen would be great for this thread..  All snakes stealing men off each other, slagging each other off.  They sent the blokes and the women off to different places to "clear the air" within 5 minutes the lads were drinking and playing football but the women were still almost coming to blows at the end of the process.

[Captain Turdseye]

My missus is also watching Love Island but I’ve held firm in my stance of not allowing it on the living room TV. She goes round her mates or her mate comes here and they fuck off and watch it upstairs.

[Harry Squatter]

We got an email in work about Donald Trump's visit to London.

 

Girl opposite me says "i can't take him seriously because he reminds me of the fella from Home Alone".

 

I couldn't remember any Donald Trump lookalike in Home Alone so asked her which one it was.

 

She then said it was the sequel and he was the absolute spit of the hotel manager. I have never seen Home Alone 2 so asked her to show me a picture on her phone.

 

She shows me a picture of Macauley Culkin with Donald Trump who was actually in the film as himself. I said "yeah that's him"

 

She said "proper ringer isn't he?"

 

I said "No. That is actually Donald Trump playing himself in the film"

 

Her "Boss. So he's like Ronald Reagan then?

[tokyojoe]

LadyD has been watching "Love Island" which I have told her devalues her, and by extension me.  20 vacuous people in a villa pretending to be couples , shagging, and then splitting and re:coupling at the producers whim. It's probably the nadir of reality television.

 

The bits I have seen would be great for this thread..  All snakes stealing men off each other, slagging each other off.  They sent the blokes and the women off to different places to "clear the air" within 5 minutes the lads were drinking and playing football but the women were still almost coming to blows at the end of the process.

Sounds very grim.

[Mook]

I'd never seen a second of Love Island but I was off on Monday & the missus had This Morning on in the background when we were getting ready to go out & they showed a couple of minutes worth clips from it. It made me realise that I'm getting old as I didn't even think about fucking the birds, I just hated the horrible, vacuous, nothingness of them.

[General Dryness]

horrible, vacuous, nothingness

If we were playing Jeopardy, this would be the answer to the question "Which three words describe modern life".