How Lazy Are You?

[Fowlers God]

The only thing I have had to do at work today was call EE to get a mobile phone re connected. 

 

Only reason why it was todays task is because it was yesterdays. 

 

Guess its tomorrows now 

[sir roger]

Never put off until tomorrow anything that you can put off completely.

[Nasty Lizard]

My 13 year old lad asks me to put some credit on his Xbox account. He wants £20 on, but there are options for £10, £15, and £25>
It takes 5 presses of a button on the screen to top it up, but to do £20 you have to top up with £10 twice, and that's 10 presses.
So I chose £25 and save 5 button presses,  *which cost me £1 per button press saved

[sir roger]

Just been offered a free ticket and lift for tonight and in a millisecond worked out it would mean getting ready, a 2 hour round trip, a trudge to and from the car, freezing my bollocks off for 2 hours at the game itself and getting home around midnight. I politely declined.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Just been offered a free ticket and lift for tonight and in a millisecond worked out it would mean getting ready, a 2 hour round trip, a trudge to and from the car, freezing my bollocks off for 2 hours at the game itself and getting home around midnight. I politely declined.

You’re a fool. You’ll probably never get the chance to see the mighty LASK in person again. 

[cloggypop]

I turned down a free all expenses including drink paid meal from work last Friday because I couldn't be arsed cycling 10 minutes from my house. 

[Remmie]

3 hours ago, Nasty Lizard said:

My 13 year old lad asks me to put some credit on his Xbox account. He wants £20 on, but there are options for £10, £15, and £25>
It takes 5 presses of a button on the screen to top it up, but to do £20 you have to top up with £10 twice, and that's 10 presses.
So I chose £25 and save 5 button presses,  *which cost me £1 per button press saved

And then you pressed how many buttons (can't be arsed to count all the characters) on here earning nothing but respect by your fellow lazy fucking comrades. You disgust me and I am in awe of you in equal measure.

[Remmie]

None the posts in here win the laziest forumite award though, that has to go to one of those fucking lurkers who have been here 15+ years with zero posts.

[Harry Squatter]

My brother was ridiculously lazy. Spent 5 years smoking ciggies in his living room before reluctantly painting the ceiling as it had morphed from a piss stained yellow to brown. Still took him on and off 3 weeks to do it. 

 

He put up a load of fairy lights in the back room around the coving yet left them up for 3 years before they broke. Even then it took him about 6 weeks to take them down. 

 

He had a garden party once and took his table and chairs out there foe people to sit on. This was in May and I went round to his house about a week after Christmas and they were still in the yard and falling to bits because they had been battered with rain and snow. 

 

He was seeing some girl from Whitby who used to come to see him on the train. He wouldn't meet her at Lime Street and let her get the train to Aintree and walk up from the station with her luggage. He never once went up there. He was like a shit version of Charlie Sheen in Two and a half men. 

 

When she did come to see him she took too long getting ready that he just got undressed and put his dressing gown back on and started drinking on the couch. When she came down he just said he couldn't be arsed going out and phoned for a takeaway. 

 

He got pissed once and decided to cut through the park, lost his wallet and never phoned up to cancel his credit cards. Said his credit limit was only £1000 on each and it would be funny if someone thought they'd go on a big spending spree with them or check into a hotel only to find out there was only about 90 quid available combined on them. 

 

 

[Geoff Woade]

I realised on Tuesday that it had been 2 years and 10 months (when I got Covid the first time the night after I’d just played 5 a side) since I had broken into anything faster than the quick walk you do when someone holds a door open for you. Then 2 nights ago I got cajoled into playing in the lads vs dads part of footy training for 20 minutes. 
Within 3 minutes I was gobbing up greenies that tasted of blood, my teeth were freezing, as were my ears and hands. The frozen air was choking me and a rat faced 8 year old was informing me that I was ‘fucking shit mate’. It was a new low.

Until after 15 minutes where I vomited while I couldn’t actually see where as I’d gone blind due to my eyes fogging up. 
Still scored 3 and pushed a few of the little shits over though so it’s progress even though k think I’ve got a hernia.

[Mudface]

8 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

I realised on Tuesday that it had been 2 years and 10 months (when I got Covid the first time the night after I’d just played 5 a side) since I had broken into anything faster than the quick walk you do when someone holds a door open for you. Then 2 nights ago I got cajoled into playing in the lads vs dads part of footy training for 20 minutes. 
Within 3 minutes I was gobbing up greenies that tasted of blood, my teeth were freezing, as were my ears and hands. The frozen air was choking me and a rat faced 8 year old was informing me that I was ‘fucking shit mate’. It was a new low.

Until after 15 minutes where I vomited while I couldn’t actually see where as I’d gone blind due to my eyes fogging up. 
Still scored 3 and pushed a few of the little shits over though so it’s progress even though k think I’ve got a hernia.

 

Naby?