little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Creator Supreme]

21 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

No, mate. She’s genuinely just not arsed. These things magically clean themselves up, you see. 

Ah, I've got 3 like that.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

On 29/11/2023 at 17:32, Mook said:

Those wee nuts they put in the rice of oven curries.

 

People wearing headphones and stotting about the middle of the pavement with no idea that there might be other people in the World who walk faster than them.

 

People who phone you about an e-mail they've just sent you.

 

Spot on, what's your number mate I had a something else I wanted to say about this.

[Harry's Lad]

3 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Ah, I've got 3 like that.

My lad's like that.

He's 38.

[Captain Turdseye]

I had a tiny little bit of broken skin on my wrist from where my watch has been rubbing on it. Like a twat I started itching it when I wasn’t wearing the watch and now I’ve made it worse.  

It’s nothing major but it’s definitely a little thing that’s annoying the shit out of me. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

My lad is 18 and has never even once made me a drink.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

My lad is 18 and has never even once made me a drink.

 

He's a genuine legend. The best bit of advice I ever got was joining HMS Iron Duke off a boat in the North Sea just away from Edinburgh, my boss was a scouser and as soon as I got on he said I'll be asked to make the 'wets' because I'm the new lad in the mess so first time you do them make sure I take the teabag out right away and put milk in first, they won't ask again. 

 

 

Yes tea bagging bumming in the Navy etc before anyone starts. 

 

[A Red]

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

[manwiththestick]

6 minutes ago, A Red said:

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

Writing Christmas cards? Cards that you're posting?

 

Fuck that off, where are you living, the 1970's?

[Creator Supreme]

Fuck Christmas into the bin, the whole shitebox of it.

[Harry's Lad]

58 minutes ago, A Red said:

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

I've got a wife for that.

[A Red]

4 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I've got a wife for that.

I live in a modern age and have a non misogynist outlook on life. Who is to say its women's work?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She told me to fuck off and that my sole contribution to Christmas by writing 6 cards wouldn't kill me

[Harry's Lad]

3 minutes ago, A Red said:

I live in a modern age and have a non misogynist outlook on life. Who is to say its women's work?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She told me to fuck off and that my sole contribution to Christmas by writing 6 cards wouldn't kill me

She loves all that Christmas malarkey. I don't so I let her crack on with it.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I don't think my bird has had a single day in her life when she hasn't been Sick, do they just wake up and pick what ailments they're having for the day or what,, how does that bit work ??

[Bobby Hundreds]

Celebrity antique Road trip. In spite of getting massive discounts because its on TV these experts usually make fuck all apart from the Scottish guy who must have people bid for him. On it now is an expert called Charles Hanson who definitely went bargain hunting when searching for the bizarre fucking toupee he has attached to the front of his head, no matter what he paid he lost as does every fucker that has to witness his wearing of it.

 

If people want to go down the wig route at least make an effort.

[sir roger]

I went to church with my cousin when we were in our teens, and an old bloke with the worst ginger wig I have ever seen was in the row in front. Every time he knelt down it pitched forward and then came back to rest once he sat back up. I ended up biting about half an inch into my thumb to stop myself laughing out loud.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I went to church with my cousin when we were in our teens, and an old bloke with the worst ginger wig I have ever seen was in the row in front. Every time he knelt down it pitched forward and then came back to rest once he sat back up. I ended up biting about half an inch into my thumb to stop myself laughing out loud.

 

Were you Holding Back the Tears? 

[Bjornebye]

Going through the kingsway tunnel just as the questions are about to start on popmaster all because she wanted to pick up some candelabras she found on facey marketplace 

[Captain Willard]

I am selling my daughter's car. It's 7 years old and she is asking 1/3 of the list price for a car with only 26,000 miles on the clock. However potential buyers are trying to  chip the price because of a scratch  on the bumper and a couple of kerbed alloys. I have taken to telling them if they want a 100% unmarked car they should fuck off and buy a brand new one at 3 times the price. 

[YorkshireRed]

3 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I am selling my daughter's car.

Does she know?

[Captain Willard]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Does she know?

Ha ha. It’s a gambling debt. 

[Mook]

2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I am selling my daughter's car. It's 7 years old and she is asking 1/3 of the list price for a car with only 26,000 miles on the clock. However potential buyers are trying to  chip the price because of a scratch  on the bumper and a couple of kerbed alloys. I have taken to telling them if they want a 100% unmarked car they should fuck off and buy a brand new one at 3 times the price. 

 

*Awaits Russell Crowe gif

[UnwelcomeinPeru]

A snapped shoelace (may have been mentioned already). 

You're ready to go out, all set, final thing, shoes on, foot up onto the chair, pull the laces taught, and....snap. 

Disappointing.

[Curly]

iPhone autocorrecting, incorrectly, in to on and vice versa. Just fuck off!

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

 

*Awaits Russell Crowe gif

 

The only Tory I'm dipping is Nigella Lawson. 

[Lee909]

Ignorance 

Just plain courtesy, narrow path so you stand to the let people get past and they blank you or look at you like your a piece of shit that should move for them. Or parents who let there kids take up the whole path with scooters or bike hurtling down the road.