little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Vector Sigma]

Old people who follow the 'if it's yellow let it mellow' mantra after a piss.

 

If I'm having a shit I don't want someone else's piss splashing onto my ring piece.

[Evelyn Tentions]

4 hours ago, TK421 said:

It'll be where you last saw it. 

Not if your missus has had a "tidy up"

You might never see it again

[mgw100]

8 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Scotsman argues against casual racism shocker. Fucking hell mate, next you'll be calling for a ban on the sale of Buckfast and saying it's not really ok to give your missus the odd slap.

 

This post may contain tired stereotypes of Scottish people.

This implies there is a stereotypical view that Scots tend towards racism. Is there? I genuinely didn't know that, if true. I would say the opposite if anything. Or is it a reference to religious sectarianism?

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, mgw100 said:

This implies there is a stereotypical view that Scots tend towards racism. Is there? I genuinely didn't know that, if true. I would say the opposite if anything. Or is it a reference to religious sectarianism?

Ask yourself what the C in Rab ‘C’ Nesbitt stands for. 

[chrisbonnie]

12 hours ago, Mook said:

Would you let him babysit your kids?

ive been at home with my kids for 3 weeks now while the missus works from home upstairs.

 

So im basically confined to the downstairs of the house.

 

At this stage id let Joseph Fritzel look after my kids, never mind Mr Tumbles. 

 

Plus Tumbles is pretty good, and im even starting to enjoy Justins House...........how fucking sad is that.

 

Oh, and for anyone with kids, Biggleton, i dont mind it, but i hate that kid, Bobby The Vet. He's a such a smug little shit. 

 

[Mook]

Looking at Netflix with kids. Imagine the grown up version (flicking through shite for hours on end trying to find something to watch) only with two midgets screaming at you about what they don't want to watch the whole time you're doing it.

[General Dryness]

5 hours ago, mgw100 said:

This implies there is a stereotypical view that Scots tend towards racism. Is there? I genuinely didn't know that, if true. I would say the opposite if anything. Or is it a reference to religious sectarianism?

As far as I know. It's like that joke about how the Scots were really annoyed about an Australian playing William Wallace, but then they found out that Mel Gibson is a racist alcoholic so it was ok.

[chrisbonnie]

3 hours ago, Mook said:

Looking at Netflix with kids. Imagine the grown up version (flicking through shite for hours on end trying to find something to watch) only with two midgets screaming at you about what they don't want to watch the whole time you're doing it.

My young lad (4), while watching Netflix practices something I liken to speed dating. He basically watches each shitly produced cartoon for 2 minutes then moves onto another one. 

 

 

[Mudface]

I managed to order some toilet roll from Amazon pantry as it didn't turn up on the last two Morrison's deliveries due to being out of stock. I know it's precious stuff these days, but it came in an enormous cardboard box filled with bubble padding. Dickheads.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Mudface said:

I managed to order some toilet roll from Amazon pantry as it didn't turn up on the last two Morrison's deliveries due to being out of stock. I know it's precious stuff these days, but it came in an enormous cardboard box filled with bubble padding. Dickheads.

I hope A Red doesn't see this. 

[Mudface]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I hope A Red doesn't see this. 

Heh, I'm in the high risk category at the moment, and my missus is at medium risk and was forced by her company to work from home after an assessment, so we have a decent excuse for using deliveries.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Heh, I'm in the high risk category at the moment, and my missus is at medium risk and was forced by her company to work from home after an assessment, so we have a decent excuse for using deliveries.

Mate the news reported Gordon Ramsey and his family were in isolation in Cornwall. They are fucking down there. Don't make yourself an easy target. 

 

Fucking weird cornwall idiots. 

[VladimirIlyich]

7 hours ago, General Dryness said:

As far as I know. It's like that joke about how the Scots were really annoyed about an Australian playing William Wallace, but then they found out that Mel Gibson is a racist alcoholic so it was ok.

And an American.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I decided to start working out again this week after a long lay off. Squats yesterday holy shitting bastard my legs! I feel like Rick James after wiping shit on Eddie Murphy's couch.

[General Dryness]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

And an American.

Yeah alright Buzz Killington, I'm well aware that he's American by birth but the popular conception of him is as an aussie. 

 

Fucking hell you're tedious. 

[Captain Turdseye]

13 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Yeah alright Buzz Killington, I'm well aware that he's American by birth but the popular conception of him is as an aussie. 

 

Fucking hell you're tedious. 

[Tony Moanero]

3 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I decided to start working out again this week after a long lay off. Squats yesterday holy shitting bastard my legs! I feel like Rick James after wiping shit on Eddie Murphy's couch.

Do you even lift?

[Tony Moanero]

12 hours ago, Mook said:

Looking at Netflix with kids. Imagine the grown up version (flicking through shite for hours on end trying to find something to watch) only with two midgets screaming at you about what they don't want to watch the whole time you're doing it.

I’d never heard of this Tumble cunt, so

had to google him. What is wrong with kids today? Why can’t they just watch Jackanory and stuff?

[General Dryness]

5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Well come on, he's like fucking Mr Logic. Always correcting, or posting shite addendums to other peoples posts. Just learn to leave well enough alone.

[ZonkoVille77]

7 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

I’d never heard of this Tumble cunt, so

had to google him. What is wrong with kids today? Why can’t they just watch Jackanory and stuff?

 

He is a pure cunt. Thinks he's a Hollywood quality legend, the fuckin sponge. 

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Yeah alright Buzz Killington, I'm well aware that he's American by birth but the popular conception of him is as an aussie. 

 

Fucking hell you're tedious. 

Thanks. I'm here all week. Play me off Johnny.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Thanks. I'm here all week. Play me off Johnny.

Fuck off.

[easytoslip]

This Lockdown, I know the more serious issues, getting up at 5.30 am everyday, yesterday the same, looked at the time and it wasn't even the crack of Noon, it had seemed like a whole day, what can I do next Luncheon early perhaps a game of Solitaire? There's always tomorrow I suppose. 

Maybe get some meat out again. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

I think the days have been flying by. This is the longest amount of time I've had off working in about 20 years.

[easytoslip]

1 minute ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I think the days have been flying by. This is the longest amount of time I've had off working in about 20 years.

I can imagine, holidays from work soon fly by.