Strategic wanks in dirty public toilets

[Dr Nowt]

As a rule I can't leave myself alone.

 

Can't say I've ever jerked off in the same room as another male, when one was feet away behind a thin partition and/or when I could see, hear and smell other men's shit, though but.

[bouncebrigade]

The following is a great game, but is probably more suited to gullible youngsters:

 

Say there's four mates, you need three of them to be in on the act and one mad cunt who will do anything.

 

One day, when the four of you are together, suggest turning off the lights in the room and having a wanking race. First to cum wins a tenner (or the like).

 

Three lads make a lot of noise but leave their pants on and don't start touching themselves, the other lad goes like a jackhammer.

 

Turn on the lights and laugh a lot.

 

I have heard the game referred to as "Soggy Biscuit" if that means anything to anyone.

[RJ Fan club]

The following is a great game, but is probably more suited to gullible youngsters:

 

Say there's four mates, you need three of them to be in on the act and one mad cunt who will do anything.

 

One day, when the four of you are together, suggest turning off the lights in the room and having a wanking race. First to cum wins a tenner (or the like).

 

Three lads make a lot of noise but leave their pants on and don't start touching themselves, the other lad goes like a jackhammer.

 

Turn on the lights and laugh a lot.

 

I have heard the game referred to as "Soggy Biscuit" if that means anything to anyone.

That's not soggy biscuit. Soggy Biscuit is much worse.

[Fugitive]

George Michael would love this thread.

[Dr Nowt]

George Michael would love this thread.

 

"A man who likes getting his knees wet with the piss from men's public toilet floors", as the Sunday Sport once memorably called him.

[PestiRed]

Why dirty public toilets? If you have to perform this abomination, why don't you choose a clean one?

[Dr Nowt]

Why dirty public toilets? If you have to perform this abomination, why don't you choose a clean one?

 

Because he's David Truscott?

 

[PestiRed]

Thanks for making me google David Truscott. Some things you just can't unknow

[Dr Nowt]

Exactly. Truscott's wanking in that picture above as well.

[ZonkoVille77]

Wtf. Slurry. Man there's some right headbangers out there. How'd you break that one to your new bird?

"Eh, great sex last night. But just didn't beat the time I rolled around in 3 cow pats in Cornwall".

[Dr Nowt]

Wtf. Slurry. Man there's some right headbangers out there. How'd you break that one to your new bird?

"Eh, great sex last night. But just didn't beat the time I rolled around in 3 cow pats in Cornwall".

 

Don't think that's something David will ever have to worry about in fairness mate.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Thanks for making me google David Truscott. Some things you just can't unknow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vq63q45qfk

[VladimirIlyich]

Another classic thread from the much lamented old forum.

I wonder what tags,yes I said tags,accompanied this thread at the time?

 

This guy sounded like a proper Bog Snorkler.

[VladimirIlyich]

The Belt Unbuckler's Five Knuckle Shuffle.

[Dr Nowt]

Prior to a certain event on Sunday I was in urgent need of a slash, so knowing the boozer I was heading for would be absolutely rammed I tried a public toilet near the stadium.  It was like descending into the bowels of hell; similar to that place Dukie sadly walks up to when Michael cuts him loose in The Wire, multiplied by diarrhea and George Michael.  There was virtually no working light in there, low ceiling, full of blokes just hanging about, the stench of shit permeated even my permanent no sense of smell, and there were rivers of yellow all over the floor.  It looked like a cross between a sewer and prison rape, so despite the fact I thought I may very well piss myself I fucked it off immediately, performing a u-turn the second I walked in.

 

As I painfully waddled on down the street trying not to let anything leak out, the thought occured to me that Llego was probably in one of the traps, spraying fuck muck liberally to a video on his phone of two lesbians giving each other a 69.

[odris]

Llego, wherever you may be, keep on wanking where and whenever you please. 

[Dr Nowt]

Even if there's piss flooding up to your knees, in a rancid shithouse full of cockernees.

[odris]

Even if there's piss flooding up to your knees, in a rancid shithouse full of cockernees.

Exactly, if it gets him there then who are we to judge.

[Dr Nowt]

Exactly, if it gets him there then who are we to judge.

Speak for yourself mate, I'm personally horrified by those who take cock in hand anywhere less sterile and hygienic than an operating theatre.

 

It's caused a ton of trouble with Anaesthetists over the years, but whatever it takes for a successful pop shot in my book.

[odris]

Speak for yourself mate, I'm personally horrified by those who take cock in hand anywhere less sterile and hygienic than an operating theatre.

 

It's caused a ton of trouble with Anaesthetists over the years, but whatever it takes for a successful pop shot in my book.

They bang on about health & safety but the second you start practising it you're branded as a sick fuck, I feel your pain, years of not wanking under the best conditions I could have disillusioned me and I envy that you wait for the perfect condition to do the deed.

[stringvest]

fucking hell llego.  

[odris]

fucking hell llego.  

Find a way to block out the smells and sounds and you're all set, don't you think?

[VladimirIlyich]

Find a way to block out the smells and sounds and you're all set, don't you think?

The best way to do that is to avoid public toilets.

[Paulie Dangerously]

This thread is probably more relevant now the cloud was hacked

[VladimirIlyich]

This thread is probably more relevant now the cloud was hacked

Is that Apple's virtual information thingy?