Have a rant thread

[Major Tom]

What's the difference between them all? The energy is invariably constant, the tariffs invariably confusing and the customer service invariably shit.

 

Peas in a pod.

 

I am still getting quarterly statements from the co-op despite not having been with them for 2 years.

[Hooch]

If I hear that "come on guys" British Gas advert on the radio one more time I will slash somebody in the nostril.

[stringvest]

let's all hail the privatised energy services.  

[Jairzinho]

let's all hail the privatised energy services.  

 

They are offering us choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pay up, or die.

[Bjornebye]

I get by fine in offices not just because I can be a right cunt but because im actually a half decent fella when sober and im good at my job so people lick my arse more than they do wind me up. (In work not on the tube)

 

And if anyone thought my post last night was a bit close to the bone (arab salesmen in italy) then it really wasn't intended to be in any way racist or anything. If it was taken that way then I apologise. I have friends who wear sandals.

[stringvest]

.

[stringvest]

They are offering us choice.

Pay up, or die.

 

It drives efficiency, dontcha know.  Well, it certainly drives job creation - a back office to support each of these businesses, IT, marketing, advertising, sales, accounts, helpdesks etc etc.  Marvellous.  Problem is, most of these functions suffer from a lack of the appropriate investment, so the service is invariably compromised.  

[Harry Squatter]

Parmesan Cheese. This stuff stinks like baby vomit, has fuck all taste and looks like when they used to put sawdust over spew in school. I have a mate who constantly refers to it as "smelly dick cheese" which is even more of a reason to avoid it.

[Harry Squatter]

Some fat minger in my place used to ballistic if anyone sat in her seat when she was off on her part time days. Some fella left two tea stains from his mug on her desk and she sent an aggressive email to everyone demanding that people leave her desk the way it was when she left it. The guy who did it sent a ridiculously sarcastic response to her saying he was ashamed that he had hurt her feelings and impaired the way she was able to complete her daily duties. Fat cunt stormed off and wasn't seen for an hour.

[Bjornebye]

Some fat minger in my place used to ballistic if anyone sat in her seat when she was off on her part time days. Some fella left two tea stains from his mug on her desk and she sent an aggressive email to everyone demanding that people leave her desk the way it was when she left it. The guy who did it sent a ridiculously sarcastic response to her saying he was ashamed that he had hurt her feelings and impaired the way she was able to complete her daily duties. Fat cunt stormed off and wasn't seen for an hour.

We used to do daft things like change peoples desktop backgrounds if they left their computer unlocked and one lad changed some birds to a picture of lee chapman because she had been talking about getting her lips botoxed. She complained and he got a warning for it. Apparently she felt he was going to smack her one if she got it done.

 

Obviously she knew that wasnt what was meant but the fact be had been on her computer pissed her off so much that she went through with a full complaint. Fucking outrageous

[Jose Jones]

Parmesan Cheese. This stuff stinks like baby vomit, has fuck all taste and looks like when they used to put sawdust over spew in school. I have a mate who constantly refers to it as "smelly dick cheese" which is even more of a reason to avoid it.

You have just been buying the wrong parmesan. If you are getting the weird ground or grated stuff then you are doing it wrong.

[Dr Nowt]

Just about to have some on my lunch, Doctor.  Smelly dicks that is.

 

* Makes cheers gesture with glass *

[Lee909]

Instead of changing there desktop background take a screen shot of the background and deleted all the shortcuts and watch them clicking on the 'shortcuts'. Gets even more amusing when they call IT.

[Harry Squatter]

Best way to annoy them is to move their chair, especially if it is one of those specially designed ones. Women normally put aggressive signs on the back of their specialist chairs warning people to leave them alone and not to tamper with them. Directly "disobeying" them is like a red rag to a bill

[Harry Squatter]

Lizzie, I hope you feel better after your lunch

[Bjornebye]

Kal-El that is excellent.

 

[Dr Nowt]

Instead of changing there desktop background take a screen shot of the background and deleted all the shortcuts and watch them clicking on the 'shortcuts'. Gets even more amusing when they call IT.

 

Superb.  A lad I worked with used to swap out the connection of the person next to him's mouse in to their PC for his own, then keep a straight face while he moved their cursor all over the shop everytime they tried to do something with it.

 

They usually only worked it out when he got bored and started moving it around when they weren't operating their mouse at all.

[Teasmaid]

In Italy all the arabs sold on the streets was them and these fucking splat toys. fuck off and sell me a carpet or some hashish aladdin you backward boat trippin toes out cunt

It's not the sellers I have a problem with, it's the users. We've just got back from Barcelona, and there were thousands of vacuous arsewipes with them. Imagine you're doing a nice spot of sight-seeing, and there's a particular monument, sculpture, fountain or whatever that you fancy taking a nice snap of. There are hundreds of people around, all with the same intention.

 

Now the unwritten rule of international tourism states that you push your kid in front of it, take a quick picture, and shift sharpish, in order to give everyone else a chance to do the same. Well not anymore. You get some Japanese bint with her phone on a 5 foot stick, taking a selfie, then checking it out, deciding she doesn't like it, and taking another one. Repeat x50. Five minutes later, once the vainglorious cuntard finally has a picture that hides her chins, she swaps places with her mate, and we go through the whole rigmarole again.

 

I'm muttering loudly now like that geeky fella outside the phonebox on Dumb & Dumber, and eventually I frogmarched my daughter over and stood her right in front of the girl, in the most blatant act of photobombery the world has ever seen, and took a picture of the pair of them. She took the hint and fucked off. Selfish bastards.

 

Why bother visiting a place if you're not going to actually experience it, or enjoy it, because you're too busy taking photos of yourself to show your friends and mild acquaintances on social media? If they put their phone down for a minute, they could actually live the life they're pretending to have.

[Harry Squatter]

Japanese tourists are utter twats, they travel in packs of 25 and take places over within 20 seconds. Still not as Twattish as Russians in holiday though.

[Trumo]

If they put their phone down for a minute, they could actually live the life they're pretending to have.

 

Couldn't sum it up any better.

[Lee909]

Nobody touches in Russians in twatish tourism

[Bobby Hundreds]

The British probably do. "Aright lad you from the same place as me almost let's be bezzies" fuck you, you look like a crack head and gingivitis does not go with black reebok classics on a beach.

[Major Tom]

Why bother visiting a place if you're not going to actually experience it, or enjoy it, because you're too busy taking photos of yourself to show your friends and mild acquaintances on social media? If they put their phone down for a minute, they could actually live the life they're pretending to have.

 

Ha.

 

I think that about all walks of life, not just tourism. Seeing photos of people out to dinner with their partners. Just two of them.

 

Hang on, love, I just need to upload this photo of your monkfish on couscous to Twitter. Bear with me, sweetie. Slow connection in this restaurant.

 

oh, you've finished.

[Rico1304]

The quiet coach on a train is to enable people not to have to listen to cunts on their phones, not to enable two dim hints to have a lovely chat all the way from London to Stockport...in the quiet so everyone can hear every word.

 

Brilliant, now there's a pigeon in the carriage and the pair of them are screechingike it's fucking Like of Pi, it's a pigeon not a fucking tiger!!!

[Dr Nowt]

The quiet coach on a train is to enable people not to have to listen to cunts on their phones, not to enable two dim hints to have a lovely chat all the way from London to Stockport...in the quiet so everyone can hear every word.

 

Brilliant, now there's a pigeon in the carriage and the pair of them are screechingike it's fucking Like of Pi, it's a pigeon not a fucking tiger!!!

 

Just as well, or you'd also now have that bloke from Spy Bee's thread in the carriage, masturbating furiously.