Share a secret with the forum.

[razor]

Sometimes, every now and again, when I'm bored I watch kiddie porn. Truth.

 

We let it pass as irony, but this is actually a cry for help.

[Scousa Tomo]

We let it pass as irony, but this is actually a cry for help.

 

Thats what children do when in his company.

[Simbo]

I had a wank on the back seat of an empty single decker bus when I was 13.

[Carradona]

I've had a shit in many a strange place, including the entrance to a building on Renshaw Street, a trolley bay in the Asda on Smithdown Road, the centre circle of the football pitch where I have a holiday home in Donegal, and inside an ancient graveyard abbey. To name a few.

[Sugar Ape]

On 22/04/2011 at 03:51, Mendoza said:

I killed Maddie.

 

I knew it!

 

Case closed.

[Bjornebye]

This thread needs nuking 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Surely this was the thread for Ian Beale's Gut to reveal his secret identity.

[Trumo]

On 26/04/2011 at 11:38, Simbo said:

I had a wank on the back seat of an empty single decker bus when I was 13.

 

You also did this:

 

[Rico1304]

I miss Nige. 

[Bob]

I was staying at a premier inn down in London about 5 years ago and needed to borrow and iron for my shirt for the morning. I was given a brand new one in a box, but (presumably because it was late) I wasn’t asked for my room number or anything.

 

i took it home with me when I checked out the next morning and still have it now.

 

its the best iron I’ve ever owned.

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I was staying at a premier inn down in London about 5 years ago and needed to borrow and iron for my shirt for the morning. I was given a brand new one in a box, but (presumably because it was late) I wasn’t asked for my room number or anything.

 

i took it home with me when I checked out the next morning and still have it now.

 

its the best iron I’ve ever owned.

If Danny Dyer read this.... 

[Chocoholic]

You can't just nuke it like that, it's not a hurricane.

[Lee909]

I'm thinking some people need to keep things to themselves 

[VladimirIlyich]

On 26/04/2011 at 11:49, Carradona said:

I've had a shit in many a strange place, including the entrance to a building on Renshaw Street, a trolley bay in the Asda on Smithdown Road, the centre circle of the football pitch where I have a holiday home in Donegal, and inside an ancient graveyard abbey. To name a few.

I think somebody took a shit in a golf bunker I hit my ball into a few months back. Either that or Grizzly Bears are now native to Delamere Forest. I then did what any respectable golfer does,I covered it with sand and quickly moved on.

[Harry Squatter]

I murdered a taxi driver in Germany then wanked off on the internet 25 years later whilst slagging my colleagues off.

[VladimirIlyich]

19 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

I murdered a taxi driver in Germany then wanked off on the internet 25 years later whilst slagging my colleagues off.

You are dead Dirty Den.

[rubble-rouser]

I'm not really a woman.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m not a real Captain. 

[Total Longo]

I was out on a site visit a couple of weeks ago near Wigan and on the way back i was badly touching cloth, so much so that i was getting cramps. I had to pull over by these woods and release the hostage, which was a total relief until i realised that you dont get bog roll out in the jungle. Had to wipe on a hanky, which i then hung from the branch of a tree, almost signalling  to any passers by that my unwanted mudchild lay twitching underneath it. 

[Harry Squatter]

One night coming home from South Road in Waterloo I walked past the doctors by Merchant Taylor's, ripped off my undies without actually taking my keks off and posted them through the doctors surgery letterbox. Good job they were an old pair that the skidmarks were just keeping them together. If I had tried it with a brand new pair I would have been there for ages.

[Dr Nowt]

When I was about 20 I politely queued up to buy a coke for my colleague who was having a severe diabetic hypo.

 

On my way back I saw two people supporting what was left of him down a staircase to the first aid room, his feet dragging behind.

 

Our other colleague asked why I had been so long. When I said there’d been a massive queue she called me a fucking idiot for not going straight to the front and stormed off, unable to look at me for the rest of the day. 

 

I reflected on her robust feedback while drinking his coke.

 

It’s what he would have wanted.

[Jennings]

Wish I could rep that more.

[Oh Buoy]

I'm on holiday and found a place that serves candy floss with your coffee.

 

[Captain Turdseye]

5 minutes ago, Seasons said:

I'm on holiday

 

 

Really?

[Pidge]

4 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m not a real Captain. 

Finally made Commodore?