The world of a woman.

[TheHowieLama]

A kid got their head stuck in the rail next to the steps at maghull baths before. Screaming, going mad, his ma trying to pull him out backwards but it's catching on his ears and freakish big head.

 

Fella comes along, just pulls the kid forward all the way through.

 

Ob-Gyn on a day off - easy.

[Alan Sex]

I'm stuck in a tiny office with 2 women now, all I hear is that it's too hot, too cold, too stuffy, too bright or too small all day, every day.

 

Fucking murder.

 

My boss actually complained on Monday that the 'cabling' was giving her a sore head.

Maybe keep your cable tucked back in your trousers for a few days?

[lifetime fan]

She’s bought the dog an advent calendar.

[KMD7]

She’s bought the dog an advent calendar.

 

Gold

[Paulie Dangerously]

She’s bought the dog an advent calendar.

 

This isn't "world of a woman" worthy.  Clearly she's been to a pet shop and bought one specifically for dogs containing dog treats behind every window, not toxic chocolate. R-right Col...???

[lifetime fan]

This isn't "world of a woman" worthy. Clearly she's been to a pet shop and bought one specifically for dogs containing dog treats behind every window, not toxic chocolate. R-right Col...???

 

Of course not!

 

“He doesn’t like dog chocolate, he prefers Cadbury’s”.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

The missus made a homemade advent calendar for the dog. I can forgive her for loving her own mother like. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Of course not!

 

“He doesn’t like dog chocolate, he prefers Cadbury’s”.

 

She knows dogs are allergic to chocolate, right?

[lifetime fan]

She knows dogs are allergic to chocolate, right?

 

What do you think?

[Fugitive]

I had all the walls plastered earlier this year and came home to find a few new pictures up. No problem I thought until I took one down and found numerous holes behind it. A further inspection of the others and they were all the same. When I asked her about it, she said she needed to try each one in different positions to see what she liked best.

 

I told her that the walls are now a mess behind the pictures and she should have waited for me to get in so I could have held the pictures in place to see what she liked that way. Didn’t speak to me for two days because ‘I was being a dick’.

 

Can’t wait until she wants to change the living room around again and moans about the state of the walls.

[tokyojoe]

I had all the walls plastered earlier this year and came home to find a few new pictures up. No problem I thought until I took one down and found numerous holes behind it. A further inspection of the others and they were all the same. When I asked her about it, she said she needed to try each one in different positions to see what she liked best.

 

I told her that the walls are now a mess behind the pictures and she should have waited for me to get in so I could have held the pictures in place to see what she liked that way. Didn’t speak to me for two days because ‘I was being a dick’.

 

Can’t wait until she wants to change the living room around again and moans about the state of the walls.

Yes but don't forget women can survive without a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or so they claim................

[Fugitive]

Yes but don't forget women can survive without a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or so they claim................

I hope she goes through a live wire next time.

 

That’ll teach her.

[manwiththestick]

I had all the walls plastered earlier this year and came home to find a few new pictures up. No problem I thought until I took one down and found numerous holes behind it. A further inspection of the others and they were all the same. When I asked her about it, she said she needed to try each one in different positions to see what she liked best.

 

I told her that the walls are now a mess behind the pictures and she should have waited for me to get in so I could have held the pictures in place to see what she liked that way. Didn’t speak to me for two days because ‘I was being a dick’.

 

Can’t wait until she wants to change the living room around again and moans about the state of the walls.

Quite within your rights to kick her out on the streets, or walk out yourself.

[Captain Turdseye]

A kid got their head stuck in the rail next to the steps at maghull baths before. Screaming, going mad, his ma trying to pull him out backwards but it's catching on his ears and freakish big head.

 

Fella comes along, just pulls the kid forward all the way through.

This has creased me up.

[littletedwest]

She’s bought the dog an advent calendar.

I've done that. Clearly not with human chocolate though

[Fugitive]

Quite within your rights to kick her out on the streets, or walk out yourself.

Her tits make her invincible.

[Rico1304]

I’m away with work tonight on a dorks woo in Leeds. Just phoned the wife and it went to answerphone. Instead of saying ‘Just got back to my room’ I said ‘just got back to our room’. There may be trouble ahead.

[tokyojoe]

I’m away with work tonight on a dorks woo in Leeds. Just phoned the wife and it went to answerphone. Instead of saying ‘Just got back to my room’ I said ‘just got back to our room’. There may be trouble ahead.

Yep. You're in the shit now mate.

[Elite]

Yep. You're in the shit now mate.

Probably Louie Spences..

[Paulie Dangerously]

ToddleD had a christmas fair at one of the Nurseries she goes to last night.  She was looking forward to it all day to see Father Christmas and have some cake.  Unfortunately one of the "festive surprises" was someone dressed up in one of those rubber, realistic dinosaur costumes.  ToddleD has serious beef with anything that should be on a television presenting itself to her in real life.  People dressed as Mickey Mouse in town is another example of this.  True to form she went batshit and refused to sing carols and see father christmas and it was pretty much a stressful hour thanks to Denver the Dinosaur.

 

We ended up indulging in a Wethies curry club later with my mum & dad who were also there when my mum pipes up "I know it's frustrating she didn't like the dinosaur, but when you think about it it's great she has a natural caution of it because it'll help her stay safe"

 

Yes mum, it'll help her stay safe from all the marauding prehistoric dinosaurs we have knocking about L9 

[Elite]

My missus is at work this morning and I'm off so I had to sort out the baby and get my daughter ready for school. Get everything sorted in a bit of a mad rush and am about to get the kids in the car for the school run but can't find the keys anywhere, text my missus to ask where's shes put them and they are in her coat pocket that shes wearing for work. So she has both sets of car/house keys on her, so I am basically under house arrest all day and can't take the baby anywhere.

 

Luckily one of the other school mums picked up my daughter.

[VladimirIlyich]

ToddleD had a christmas fair at one of the Nurseries she goes to last night. She was looking forward to it all day to see Father Christmas and have some cake. Unfortunately one of the "festive surprises" was someone dressed up in one of those rubber, realistic dinosaur costumes. ToddleD has serious beef with anything that should be on a television presenting itself to her in real life. People dressed as Mickey Mouse in town is another example of this. True to form she went batshit and refused to sing carols and see father christmas and it was pretty much a stressful hour thanks to Denver the Dinosaur.

 

We ended up indulging in a Wethies curry club later with my mum & dad who were also there when my mum pipes up "I know it's frustrating she didn't like the dinosaur, but when you think about it it's great she has a natural caution of it because it'll help her stay safe"

 

Yes mum, it'll help her stay safe from all the marauding prehistoric dinosaurs we have knocking about L9

Kids are weird,and their female relatives even weirder!

I remember as a very young kid going to a Black and White Minstrels show and being terrified and crying my eyes out for no apparent reason.

*This was in no way a racist reaction as I spent my early years in the largely multicultural are of L8 and our family had black friends going back years.* It could also have been that those Black and White Minstrels shows were always popular on the telly back then and when fiction meets fact it can scramble a little kid's brain.

[Mook]

I'm still absolutely petrified of anyone dressed up like that. We get them at the shopping centre by me all the time & I'll go way out of my way to avoid anyone on stilts, dressed up as a dinosaur or Super Mario or whatever.

 

Scary bastards, no wonder kids start crying when they see them.

[Elite]

Bet you aren't scared of Penelope Cruz dressed as Mario.

[Elite]

I am sure the ones of you that have kids are aware of this Naughty Elf fad that happens every december.

 

Now I don't mind it as it's a bit of fun for the kids and you can get a bit creative so your kid has something to laugh at in the morning when they get up.

 

However, I fucking hate that it's turned into a competition for likes on Facebook with parents more interested in how many likes/comments they get on their 'Elfs Antics' of the previous night than it being a bit of fun between them and their kids.

 

I posted this on here cos' it's women who are the main culprit.