The world of a woman.

[linus]

I lost my wallet a couple of weeks ago on a train. Just had an email from the National Trust as the woman who found it contacted them as my membership card was in there. Why the fuck didn’t she just sent the wallet to me after all my address is on my drivers license which was also in there.

Come on she's just a good person

 

Inviato dal mio G8231 utilizzando Tapatalk

[Rico1304]

Come on she's just a good person

 

Inviato dal mio G8231 utilizzando Tapatalk

Definitely, she’s great.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

I lost my wallet a couple of weeks ago on a train. Just had an email from the National Trust as the woman who found it contacted them as my membership card was in there. Why the fuck didn’t she just sent the wallet to me after all my address is on my drivers license which was also in there.

She possibly saw the photo on yer driving license and thought, fuck don’t like the nose on this fucker, and decided to use the good folk of the NT as intermediaries.

[Juniper]

Girl I used to work with cheated on her fella with about 4 or 5 people, probably more but that’s the people from the office we knew about as it all came out.

 

Finds out her husband cheated on her? Ends the marriage.

[Elite]

Girl I used to work with cheated on her fella with about 4 or 5 people, probably more but that’s the people from the office we knew about as it all came out.

Finds out her husband cheated on her? Ends the marriage.

If she has cheated on him that much obviously didn't want to be with him, him cheating probably just gave her some hypocritical justification. He's better rid.

[Juniper]

If she has cheated on him that much obviously didn't want to be with him, him cheating probably just gave her some hypocritical justification. He's better rid.

Hypocritical and a half!!

 

Feel sorry for their kid really as he’ll suffer the most out out of this.

[Anubis]

Just watched a woman driver exit a car park located on one side of dual carriageway, and drive down the road the wrong way. Then has to pull a three point turn on said busy dual carriageway.

[Mook]

For some reason the topic of anesthetic came up in conversation, my brother's missus who is from South Africa, "Wasn't Scotland the last country in the World to get anesthetic?".

 

Close.

[Trumo]

For some reason the topic of anesthetic came up in conversation, my brother's missus who is from South Africa, "Wasn't Scotland the last country in the World to get anesthetic?".

 

Close.

 

Should have said they still use single malt.

[tokyojoe]

Just watched a woman driver exit a car park located on one side of dual carriageway, and drive down the road the wrong way. Then has to pull a three point turn on said busy dual carriageway.

I was in a taxi in Beirut that did similar. They do it all the time there.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

The woman next door just asked me if DHL had dropped a parcel off for her. I said no and she asked why not, wtf!! 

[General Dryness]

Should have said they still use single malt.

Should have said if a medical professional wants to render you unconscious in Scotland, they stick the fuckin heid on ye.

[Mook]

The bird I work with just goes to my boss, "It's the shortest day of the year today."

 

My boss, "It's the same length as every other day."

 

Pause...

 

My Boss, "They must mean daylight hours."

 

I'm genuinely not making this shit up.

[Mook]

Today she's reading her Health & Safety questionnaire out loud & keeps pronouncing the 'c' in 'muscle'.

[mattyq]

Today she's reading her Health & Safety questionnaire out loud & keeps pronouncing the 'c' in 'muscle'.

Just bum her, mate

[tokyojoe]

Today she's reading her Health & Safety questionnaire out loud & keeps pronouncing the 'c' in 'muscle'.

We demand pictures of your boss.

[Mook]

We demand pictures of your boss.

 

[Elite]

Today she's reading her Health & Safety questionnaire out loud & keeps pronouncing the 'c' in 'muscle'.

Bet she wants your love Musk-le.

[Dougie Do'ins]

I'm just on the train to London which as just stopped at Crew. The usual fuckwittery of cunts trying to find their seats is going on.

 

A youngish girl probably a student sits at a seat and the old girl in the seat facing asks if it's her seat as its marked reserved. What the fuck it has to do with meddlesome ratbag I'll never know but this is what what the reply was.

 

Yeah I think it's my seat. My dad booked it for me so I don't know.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Meddlesome ratbag and student girl ate now bezzie mates. We're in the quiet carriage and the only two people making any noise are these two cunts. Someone's phone has just rang and before they had a chance to mute it meddlesome ratbag tells them this is the quiet carriage. You can literally see people trying not to laugh at her.

 

Anyway turns out the student girl is dropping out as she had no idea how hard the things would be

[Fowlers God]

Meddlesome ratbag and student girl ate now bezzie mates. We're in the quiet carriage and the only two people making any noise are these two cunts. Someone's phone has just rang and before they had a chance to mute it meddlesome ratbag tells them this is the quiet carriage. You can literally see people trying not to laugh at her.

 

Anyway turns out the student girl is dropping out as she had no idea how hard the things would be

I demand Pictures Mick

[Dougie Do'ins]

I demand Pictures Mick

They're not lezzing off mate. Not yet anyway.

[Baresi]

Just had to take my 4 yr old to Alder hey to have bloods taken. Only one parent was allowed in so as my missus is flavour of the day, my daughter picks her to go in. So on the way home the missus says to me, her blood was really red you know! Well fuck me, who’d have fucking thought it. Yeah, she is blonde.

[Grinch]

Most of them have the sense to not leave xmas shopping until the last minute, I'll give them that.

[Furmedge]

I done the Christmas shop last night. She wrote me a list. I think I've mentioned her attention to detail with this kind of stuff before but I'm glad she was really thorough with it all or I'd have been lost. Gems like;

 

Meat

Stuff for tea

Stuff for kids

 

But the best one was the ice cream. The kids love a certain one so she quite lovingly wrote the brand of ice cream I needed to pick up. Which one? Cart door.

 

Cart door!!

 

Cart fucking door!!