Things that annoy you when driving

[Stu Monty]

A fireman, who is the husband of a colleague, once told me that Baby On Board stickers had saved the lives of several infants in car crashes and motorway pile ups he'd been involved with. Unlike anyone else, babies are completely unable to help themselves and the stickers had ensured the firemen got to them in time.

 

Hmm. If that was the precise and only reason someone bought one then I could be a bit more forgiving, more that people buying them as a deterrent for you being up their arse.

 

Until this chap starts relaying stories to you of rescued monkeys, whether cheeky or not, fit birds, princesses, babes and dudes I will still hold to my opinion on certain aspects of these signs.

[RedKnight]

I should qualify that:

 

People in German cars, unless they're Welsh or in a country-blues-scouse rock combo.

 

Yeah baby.

[RedKnight]

People in Swedish cars.

 

Except speedy little saabs.

[Moschops II]

Hmm. If that was the precise and only reason someone bought one then I could be a bit more forgiving, more that people buying them as a deterrent for you being up their arse.

 

Until this chap starts relaying stories to you of rescued monkeys, whether cheeky or not, fit birds, princesses, babes and dudes I will still hold to my opinion on certain aspects of these signs.

 

As a deterrent, it doesn't work. If you've got one, spotty hair-gelled cunts in Vauxhall Astras just make a point of driving nose-to-tail with you if you're going anywhere near the actual speed limit.

[Stu Monty]

As a deterrent, it doesn't work. If you've got one, spotty hair-gelled cunts in Vauxhall Astras just make a point of driving nose-to-tail with you if you're going anywhere near the actual speed limit.

 

To be fair most of the people driving cars with these signs are lethally bad drivers. You're out and about minding your own business and then they start their vehicular-mortar simulation. Cretins.

[Moschops II]

To be fair most of the people driving cars with these signs are lethally bad drivers. You're out and about minding your own business and then they start their vehicular-mortar simulation. Cretins.

 

Don't think that's true at all. It just changes how you drive when you've got a helpless life behind you, totally depending on you for his or her safety.

 

:whistle:

[aws]

Fucking caravans.

 

Should only be allowed on the roads between 10 at night and six in the morning.

[Faustus]

Taxi drivers! Collectively, the biggest gang of cunts on the planet.

 

Personally, my sister annoys me when I'm driving. If she's giving me directions to her mate's house, instead of telling me to turn left or right, she says "go that way" and sticks her hand out. Of course, that's an absolute pain in the arse when you're trying to concentrate on the road and it baffles me how a fucking 16 year old can't tell left from bloody right.

[dudek#1]

Women drivers who almost always don't acknowledge road courtesy.

 

Covers everything I think

[She Knows It]

Not when I'm driving but when other people are driving, it really pisses me off when the driver flicks a ciggy out of the window and comes back in and goes down the back of their seat and starts burning them.

 

Oi cunthooks, just noticed this. It's the last lift I'm ever giving you. And it didn't go down my seat, it went down my jeans.

 

You try driving down some narrow, winding, Welsh mountain road with your arse on fire, screaming for help, seconds away from a rocky demise and having your nincompoopish ginger brother laughing at you saying "No. F*ck off. I'm not putting my hand down there, you're my sister". Newsflash Dirkus, in matters of life or death, sibling connection mean shit.

 

Oh, and I hate ginger passengers when I'm driving.

[robslappa]

Mine are:

 

Lorries that take ages to overtake each other causing a massive pile up, especially when they have no realistic chance of overtaking someone.

 

People on their mobiles who never get caught.

 

People who never ever indicate.

 

Old biddies driving 20mph in a 40mph zone.

 

People who sit behind vans/slow moving vehicles for ages then pull out to overtake, blocking you when you are in the outside lane.

 

Pointless speed restrictions when there are never any roadworkers on the road, there's been one on the M62 for 3 months and I've still never seen one person working on the road.

 

When you give way to someone and they don't acknowledge you.

 

As you may have guessed - i'm quite impatient

 

All of the above plus

 

People who hog the middle lane - Bastards you know who you are

[mcflynn]

Dozy Cyclists - get on me titties.

[RoboRiise]

Horses - this is 2007, save it for the civil war re-enactment society summer fete eh?

 

 

People that have absolutely no clue as to their car's dimensions, causing them to give three feet of clearance to a line of parked cars before undertaking you, missing your mirror by three eights of an inch.

 

 

Motorcyclists riding under the misapprehension they're at Snetterton when they're actually on the A62 during the morning rush hour.

 

 

Cyclists.

 

There's obviously a completely separate, secret highway code for cyclists these days because the vast majority of them don't do a damn thing in the one I'm familiar with. Easily the most common (and infuriating) is riding up to red lights on the road and then riding across the pedestrian crossing point, closely followed by an insistence on staying in the cycle lane until they're 20 yards away from the point where they want to turn right on a three lane road. Note - if you want me to treat you like a car and give you space, you need to act like one and claim position on the road.

 

Contratry to what seems to be the opinion of most cyclists, car drivers don't want to kill cyclists - I like my driving licence and have a conscience, but I am not psychic. Also, whilst your bike may be able to stop dead in two yards, my car can't and it isn't reasonable to expect it to.

 

 

People that drive at 28mph and then fucking brake when they see a speed camera. Every time I'm stuck behind one of these (especially on the many roads near me that are simply impossible to overtake on, mainly because the council have put pointless bollards and 50 yard-long cycle lanes on them, mainly in order to create traffic bottlenecks and prepare the ground for congestion charging, the cunts) I lose about a week of my life in elevated blood pressure. If you want to go at that speed, buy a horse. And then get it the fuck off the road.

 

 

Anybody driving a Porsche Cayenne, although I suppose they're more of an object of pity really.

 

 

Finally, a massive deal near here in the face of two men recently being convicted of sitting hundreds of driving test theory exams fraudulently, come unlicenced drivers and taxi drivers in particular.

 

Easily the two best examples I've seen are a taxi driver setting off from a garage without looking either way and ploughing straight into the side of a passing Ford Sierra (he was actually going so fast that there was no way in hell he'd have made the turn anyway - the Sierra just ran interference for a garden wall) and one taking simultaneous calls on two mobile phones whilst driving down a dual carriageway at 25mph, steering with his knees. I was a passenger in both - the second one was by far the scarier.

 

I don't claim to be an expert driver by any means, but I'm good enough to recognise that neither of those two had been near a driving school in their lives, yet they both had licences. Pre photo-licence ones, obviously.

[Guest Manuel]

People in front who stick their right indicator on when they overtake and then when they inch in front, even if they're narrowly missing an oncoming car doing 60, put their left indicator on as they move in front. The most extreme example of "stating the fucking obvious" you'll see in everyday life.

[Stouffer]

Oi cunthooks, just noticed this. It's the last lift I'm ever giving you. And it didn't go down my seat, it went down my jeans.

 

You try driving down some narrow, winding, Welsh mountain road with your arse on fire, screaming for help, seconds away from a rocky demise and having your nincompoopish ginger brother laughing at you saying "No. F*ck off. I'm not putting my hand down there, you're my sister". Newsflash Dirkus, in matters of life or death, sibling connection mean shit.

 

Oh, and I hate ginger passengers when I'm driving.

 

Zing, she totally burned you there Dave.

[Duff Man]

Smelly passenger farts when it's raining and you can't open the window. 'Tis a most heinous act to trump in a friends vehicle when there are no means of ventilation.

[dirty_sanchez]

When a stone chip hits my windscreen. Even if there's no damage, I'm fucked off for the rest of the journey.

[Total Longo]

Hmm. If that was the precise and only reason someone bought one then I could be a bit more forgiving, more that people buying them as a deterrent for you being up their arse.

 

Until this chap starts relaying stories to you of rescued monkeys, whether cheeky or not, fit birds, princesses, babes and dudes I will still hold to my opinion on certain aspects of these signs.

 

"baby on board" signs or not, you shouldn't be driving up someones arse anyway, Stu...unless you are bumming them of course.

 

That's my biggest irritation, people trying to intimidate me when driving. Ususally when i'm doing 80 in the outside lane of the motorway and some twat in an Audi or a beemer suddenly appears right behind me. It just makes me go slower or brake test the fuckers. There's no need for it whatsoever.

 

Echo what other people have said about not indicating, women who are too scared to remove their hands from the wheel t o acknowledge you after you've let them through and fucking mobile users.

[Cath]

twatty highland drivers who think its ok to pull out of a side road because there's only you and them on the road. They force you to brake, and

compound the annopyance when they take the first exit about 10 yards further down the road.

Just wait until I'm past you bastards.

 

Ye shouldnae be doing 80 on a single track anyhow lad!

To be honest the Highlands are my favourite place to drive. People use their mirrors and let you past. You don't get that down here. Mirrors? They're for keeping a eye on the kids in the back.

[Stu Monty]

"baby on board" signs or not, you shouldn't be driving up someones arse anyway, Stu...unless you are bumming them of course.

 

That's my biggest irritation, people trying to intimidate me when driving. Ususally when i'm doing 80 in the outside lane of the motorway and some twat in an Audi or a beemer suddenly appears right behind me. It just makes me go slower or brake test the fuckers. There's no need for it whatsoever.

 

Echo what other people have said about not indicating, women who are too scared to remove their hands from the wheel t o acknowledge you after you've let them through and fucking mobile users.

 

If there's a space in the middle lane and you're in the outside lane then, in my opinion, you're an ignorant fucker; and the only way to make ignorant fuckers wake up and realise they need to move it to get right behind them. There's definitely a need in that situation.

 

If it's normally flowing traffic then I'm with you, it's a cunt's trick.