Middle Class Generalisation Thread

[Section_31]

Their kids are called Mia, even the boys.

[sir roger]

2 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Soft Porn is the same. No price sensitivity from buyers particularly in the pre pornhub days.  The other thing with 1980s soft porn mags was that they reused the same images year after year so eventually you were probably knocking one out to an image of a model who had subsequently died of a drug overdose. 

 

Anyone else got a semi ?

[Section_31]

Do you remember the first time you saw a centrefold? Confusion and womder mixed up in a blender and poured down your trousers.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

17 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Do you remember the first time you saw a centrefold? Confusion and womder mixed up in a blender and poured down your trousers.

 

I remember it like it was yesterday (which it WASN'T!). I was about 9 or 10, and a rumour spread there was a jazz mag in some dense woods behind a local recreation ground. A group of us set off in search of the titty treasure, like a British version of Stand By Me or The Goonies - The Poonies if you will.

 

We travelled far, and battled the elements; well, went behind the tennis courts and rooted about in a few bushes. When we found the clearing where it was located, we'd been beaten there by another group - Amundsens to our Scotts! Surprisingly, no one asserted ownership, and we were all allowed our turn to marvel at the crusty-paged delights.

 

No one was to take it from the woods either. The truce decreed it must remain there. It was not only the first minge I saw, but the episode also opened my eyes to how man can co-exist without written laws, finding instead common purpose. No one took the mag. Though, someone did draw a crude cock and moustache on the reader's wife bint.

 

Youngsters these days will never know what they missed.

[VladimirIlyich]

59 minutes ago, sir roger said:

 

Anyone else got a semi ?

You are obviously not an England fan as they couldn't reach one.

[Section_31]

5 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

 

I remember it like it was yesterday (which it WASN'T!). I was about 9 or 10, and a rumour spread there was a jazz mag in some dense woods behind a local recreation ground. A group of us set off in search of the titty treasure, like a British version of Stand By Me or The Goonies - The Poonies if you will.

 

We travelled far, and battled the elements; well, went behind the tennis courts and rooted about in a few bushes. When we found the clearing where it was located, we'd been beaten there by another group - Amundsens to our Scotts! Surprisingly, no one asserted ownership, and we were all allowed our turn to marvel at the crusty-paged delights.

 

No one was to take it from the woods either. The truce decreed it must remain there. It was not only the first minge I saw, but the episode also opened my eyes to how man can co-exist without written laws, finding instead common purpose. No one took the mag. Though, someone did draw a crude cock and moustache on the reader's wife bint.

 

Youngsters these days will never know what they missed.

 

Man that's beautiful.

 

Wasn't the first time I'd seen one but at about aged 12 me and a couple of mates found a page form a jazz mag which had been ripped out on the floor of the 80A bus on the way home from school, I took it home and wiped my knob on it, noticed there was a stain on it already then started crying and told my mum I might have AIDS. She asked me why and I said I couldn't tell her, and she just replied that it was highly unlikely.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Christmas morning walk.

[Rico1304]

Hedge porn RIP

[Trumo]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

Man that's beautiful.

 

Wasn't the first time I'd seen one but at about aged 12 me and a couple of mates found a page form a jazz mag which had been ripped out on the floor of the 80A bus on the way home from school, I took it home and wiped my knob on it, noticed there was a stain on it already then started crying and told my mum I might have AIDS. She asked me why and I said I couldn't tell her, and she just replied that it was highly unlikely.

 

Whitehouse AIDS.

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

Hedge porn RIP

Deserves its own thread. 

[Captain Turdseye]

1 minute ago, Captain Willard said:

Deserves its own thread. 

Probably is one already. In fact, I’m fairly certain there is. 

[VladimirIlyich]

7 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Probably is one already. In fact, I’m fairly certain there is. 

 

[Bjornebye]

I didn't have the heart to bump the Big Yin thread so I'll lash this here. Fucking superb

 

 

 

 

[stringvest]

On 15/12/2022 at 18:59, Section_31 said:

Do you remember the first time you saw a centrefold? Confusion and womder mixed up in a blender and poured down your trousers.

 

that's rather brilliant.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Upcycling. Otherwise known as painting perfectly good furniture.

 

Just seen the woman on Money For Nothing take a nest of three teak G-Plan tables, smash the tiles off the top one, slap a load of chalky paint on, then flog 'em. And she walked away happy, thinking she was some kind of artsy type with an eye for design.

[Section_31]

Went the garden centre this morning for breakfast and saw lots of 'full time mummies' grafting away having breakfast in their pink gilets. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Went the garden centre this morning for breakfast and saw lots of 'full time mummies' grafting away having breakfast in their pink gilets. 

Well, you were having breakfast in a garden centre !!!

[TheBitch]

On 15/12/2022 at 18:52, Captain Willard said:

My dad had a newsagent when I was a kid. The mark up on cards is astonishing. About 90%. Soft Porn is the same. No price sensitivity from buyers particularly in the pre pornhub days.  The other thing with 1980s soft porn mags was that they reused the same images year after year so eventually you were probably knocking one out to an image of a model who had subsequently died of a drug overdose. 

Keep talking Captain…

[Tony Moanero]

On 15/12/2022 at 18:52, Captain Willard said:

My dad had a newsagent when I was a kid. The mark up on cards is astonishing. About 90%. Soft Porn is the same. No price sensitivity from buyers particularly in the pre pornhub days.  The other thing with 1980s soft porn mags was that they reused the same images year after year so eventually you were probably knocking one out to an image of a model who had subsequently died of a drug overdose. 

A newsagents?! Wow! Talk about living the dream! Unlimited access to comics, f***y cards/sticks, Tizer, crisps, cola cubes and Fry’s Five Centres.

[Captain Willard]

40 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

A newsagents?! Wow! Talk about living the dream! Unlimited access to comics, f***y cards/sticks, Tizer, crisps, cola cubes and Fry’s Five Centres.

Yeah you’d think that but the novelty pales. My dad had a policy of letting us help ourselves to sweets so after a week or so you’ve had enough. It didn’t work that way for soft porn. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Yeah you’d think that but the novelty pales. My dad had a policy of letting us help ourselves to sweets so after a week or so you’ve had enough. It didn’t work that way for soft porn. 

I don’t think I’d ever tire of eating chocolate. It’s a good job that my parents didn’t run a newsagents because if they had have done, I would have been like this fella.

 

[sir roger]

The scary thing is that he would be somewhere around average these days at secondary school.

[Rico1304]

One of our lawyers complained that she had to tell her kids to be quiet the other day as they were making too much noise.  They were practicing opera as they are in a production of Tosca this week. 

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

One of our lawyers complained that she had to tell her kids to be quiet the other day as they were making too much noise.  They were practicing opera as they are in a production of Tosca this week. 

Ha ha. My oldest son asked me to pause the Arsenal game tonight so he could play out a tricky end game on Chess.com 

 

[lifetime fan]

19 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

A newsagents?! Wow! Talk about living the dream! Unlimited access to comics, f***y cards/sticks, Tizer, crisps, cola cubes and Fry’s Five Centres.

 

Cola cubes rep.

 

When I started at secondary school you had to pay for your school dinner with cash. On my walk to school I passed the two shops and quickly realised I could buy two 50p bags of cola cubes, keep one for myself and sell the other bag for a quid to one of my mates in school.

 

I did this for nearly 5 years.