The Local News Thread

[Section_31]

TK Wanks 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Fair does to the lad for splattering 10 T-shirts. 

[cloggypop]

I am amazed the woman having a shite in the shop in Southport hasn't been posted yet.

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/woman-poo-bm-bargains-southport-9436282

[Jairzinho]

http://www.exeterpound.org.uk/

 

Local good news.

[cloggypop]

http://www.three.fm/news/isle-of-man-news/teen-left-terrified-after-man-exposes-his-snake/

[Dougie Do'ins]

I don't know who was worse here. The cunt who nicked it (probably a seagull) or the twat who reported it.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/drop-everything-northumbria-police-are-looking-for-a-stolen-beach-towel-10396781.html

[Champ]

Is that your gran in the news again, Mook?

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-33668904

[Mook]

Is that your gran in the news again, Mook?

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-33668904

 

Aye, that's what I was doing yesterday afternoon, first non-railway passangers since the late 60s to go on the Waverley route & we actually got nice weather for it as well.

 

I think there's going to be a bit on Reporting Scotland tonight about it although I managed to skip the BBC leg of the journey, being interviewed for the telly at half 10 on a Sunday morning is not my idea of fun & I had a stinking hangover as usual.

[Trumo]

Mook's gran is Supergran?

[Mook]

Mook's gran is Supergran?

 

Ha ha, my brother & me used to call her that when we were wee.

 

[Champ]

Aye, that's what I was doing yesterday afternoon, first non-railway passangers since the late 60s to go down that route & we actually got nice weather for it as well.

 

I think there's going to be a bit on Reporting Scotland tonight about it although I managed to skip the BBC leg of the journey, being interviewed for the telly at half 10 on a Sunday morning is not my idea of fun & I had a stinking hangover as usual.

I am so pleased to see this route re-opened and hope it will lead to it being extended further in the non too distant. The decimation of the railway network by Beeching was an appalling act against the people and communities who exist outside the main conurbations, possibly on a scale similar to the closure of the mines.

I wish it every success

[Champ]

Mook's gran is Supergran?

I cant comment on her qualities as a grandparent but she was/is a fantastic campaigner for the interests of her community

[Captain Turdseye]

Hey Mook, how does she feel about legalising cannabis?

[Mook]

I am so pleased to see this route re-opened and hope it will lead to it being extended further in the non too distant. The decimation of the railway network by Beeching was an appalling act against the people and communities who exist outside the main conurbations, possibly on a scale similar to the closure of the mines.

I wish it every success

 

It's a complete lack of foresight & in terms of public transport, Britain is an awful place for it, whether it's getting rid of the Edinburgh trams only to replace them for nearly £1bn a few decades down the line, it's cutting a massive part of the country off like a diseased arm. The Borders has suffered an awful lot as a result of that trainline going, most of the mills have shut & there's more junkies than there are cashmere jumpers these days, I'd love them to extend the line down to Hawick (where my family are from) before my Granny goes, can't see it though.

[Mook]

Hey Mook, how does she feel about legalising cannabis?

 

She'd rather they didn't because she makes about £200 a week selling half quarters of soapy to the local schoolchildren.

[Jairzinho]

Devon longbow duck-killer hunted by police

 

A man who shot two ducks with a longbow, killing one and injuring another, is being sought by police.

 

One of the birds, a Muscovy duck named George, is recovering after the attack in Buckfastleigh, Devon, despite the 2ft (60cm) arrow piercing his wing and entering his body.

 

Witnesses saw a man leaving the scene by the River Dart with a longbow and a dead mallard duck.

 

Police believe George was shot on Saturday.

 

Pam Barrett and Alan Gosling, who together have looked after the ducks unofficially for several years, went to the river after they were told of the attack on George.

 

Mrs Barrett said: "The arrow had gone through his wing and into his body.

 

"We're monitoring George everyday as we're worried he will get an infection.

 

"Although it has cut his body, we don't think it has damaged any organs."

 

She enlisted the help of friends John Hytche and Ian Pitchford to get to George in the river.

 

She said Mr Pitchford found two other arrows embedded in the riverbank.

 

"If they had been a few feet in either direction they would have been into the traffic."

 

Mrs Barrett said George and the other muscovy ducks were "such characters, very friendly and attract lots of attention".

 

A police spokesman said the arrow had been removed and it was now a "waiting game" to see if George recovered.

 

He said the wanted man was white, in his early 20s, and slim with collar-length light brown hair, and was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and jeans.

[Dr Nowt]

Aye, that's what I was doing yesterday afternoon, first non-railway passangers since the late 60s to go on the Waverley route & we actually got nice weather for it as well.

 

I think there's going to be a bit on Reporting Scotland tonight about it although I managed to skip the BBC leg of the journey, being interviewed for the telly at half 10 on a Sunday morning is not my idea of fun & I had a stinking hangover as usual.

Mate, I've only just clocked this, and watched that news report with huge admiration. Your family must be fucking stoked - what a woman to have as your granny!

 

Cracking stuff.

[Mook]

Aye, she's great, I wish I had her energy because it just shows you that you can get things changed for the better if you refuse to give up in the face of cuntery.

[Section_31]

Devon longbow duck-killer hunted by police

 

A man who shot two ducks with a longbow, killing one and injuring another, is being sought by police.

 

One of the birds, a Muscovy duck named George, is recovering after the attack in Buckfastleigh, Devon, despite the 2ft (60cm) arrow piercing his wing and entering his body.

 

Witnesses saw a man leaving the scene by the River Dart with a longbow and a dead mallard duck.

 

Police believe George was shot on Saturday.

 

Pam Barrett and Alan Gosling, who together have looked after the ducks unofficially for several years, went to the river after they were told of the attack on George.

 

Mrs Barrett said: "The arrow had gone through his wing and into his body.

 

"We're monitoring George everyday as we're worried he will get an infection.

 

"Although it has cut his body, we don't think it has damaged any organs."

 

She enlisted the help of friends John Hytche and Ian Pitchford to get to George in the river.

 

She said Mr Pitchford found two other arrows embedded in the riverbank.

 

"If they had been a few feet in either direction they would have been into the traffic."

 

Mrs Barrett said George and the other muscovy ducks were "such characters, very friendly and attract lots of attention".

 

A police spokesman said the arrow had been removed and it was now a "waiting game" to see if George recovered.

 

He said the wanted man was white, in his early 20s, and slim with collar-length light brown hair, and was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and jeans.

 

 

Dunno why but this bit had me in stitches:

 

"Witnesses saw a man leaving the scene by the River Dart with a longbow and a dead mallard duck."

 

You just know this man has been kicked out of the TA and First Blood is his favourite film. 

[Jairzinho]

Dunno why but this bit had me in stitches:

 

"Witnesses saw a man leaving the scene by the River Dart with a longbow and a dead mallard duck."

 

You just know this man has been kicked out of the TA and First Blood is his favourite film. 

 

He's currently crouched in the woods somewhere trying to find advice on his next move from Bravo Two Zero.

 

I like how the article quickly settles in to referring to a duck as George.

[setreal]

The actions were apparently inspired by lion hunting dentist Walter Palmer from Minnesota, even though he also referred to Palmer as a "bit of a quack".

[Carvalho Diablo]

Breaking Bad fan guilty of Dark Web ricin plot

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33708611

 

 

The court heard Mohammed Ali first heard about ricin on the television series Breaking Bad

 

 

Ali, bom-boyay.

 

A man has been found guilty of trying to buy deadly ricin poison from the Dark Web after being inspired by the hit US television series Breaking Bad.

 

Mohammed Ali, 31, was convicted at the Old Bailey of attempting to possess a chemical weapon after around five and a half hours of deliberations by a jury.

 

Ali, from Liverpool, struck a deal with a supplier in January to buy 500mg of powder - enough to kill 1,400 people.

He was unaware that his source was in fact an FBI agent.

 

The trial heard the father-of-two was sent harmless powder hidden inside a toy car.

 

After opening the package, which had been treated with a marker substance, he was arrested at his home the following morning.

Under ultraviolet light, Ali's face lit up, showing he had handled the car.

 

Ali, of Prescot Road, told jurors he was just "curious" and wanted to test the boundaries of the Dark Web, and was unaware that ricin was illegal.

He told the court: "I was interested in the Dark Net and ricin. I just wanted to know what the fuss was about.

'No terror evidence'

"I found lots of different items ranging from drugs, guns, other illegal items, and because I had been watching Breaking Bad I just had ricin in my mind."

His defence team suggested Bolton-born Ali wanted ricin for a "peaceful purpose" and a psychologist told jurors he exhibited signs of Asperger's syndrome.

 

But prosecutor Sally Howes QC said he was a "chancer" who lied to police about having ricin when he was arrested in the hope that he would "get away with it".

 

The court heard Ali had made a to-do list on his computer which included the entries "paid ricin guy" and "get pet to murder".

He had also made a series of internet searches for chinchillas, squeasants, animal rescue centres, rabbits and "pocket-sized pets".

 

The prosecution said a 500 mg dose of ricin can kill between 700 and 1,400 people.

 

Judge Mr Justice Saunders said: "There is no evidence that he was planning any sort of terrorist attack.

 

"There is also no evidence that he had in mind any specific victims for ricin. I do not accept he was going to dispose of it.

"I'm satisfied it would have remained in his possession in some way and that is the basis on which I propose to sentence."

 

Ali had previously been involved in various illegal money-making scams which included stealing £250,000 from PayPal through a loophole, the court was told.

 

Sue Hemming, from the Crown Prosecution Service, said: "Ricin is a naturally occurring poison which is fatal even in very small doses. Ali knew the dangers of ricin and had been researching poisons for months before he attempted to obtain it.

 

"Today shows yet again that even in the case of crimes committed in the darkest corners of the internet, criminals can be caught and convicted."

 

Sentencing was adjourned until September 18.

[Mook]

Bloody tourists, bringing millions of pounds into our local economy & then thinking they can rub bobby in the middle of the street...

 

http://edinburgh.stv.tv/articles/1326289-greyfriars-bobby-statue-sign-warns-tourists-against-rubbing-dogs-nose/

 

[RedinSweden]

Bloody tourists, bringing millions of pounds into our local economy & then thinking they can rub bobby in the middle of the street...

 

http://edinburgh.stv.tv/articles/1326289-greyfriars-bobby-statue-sign-warns-tourists-against-rubbing-dogs-nose/

 

 

Hook the wee fucker up to the mains. That would put a stop to it.

[rubble-rouser]

I just assumed 'rubbing bobby' was a euphmism there