universal humblings

[llego]

Two nights ago, the universe gave me a big old fashioned humbling. And I liked it.

 

Story starts Friday evening. Im a freelancer and work in film. Got a last minute call for a great music video gig starting 8.30 Saturday morning, so I probably should have stayed in. But I just started dating this girl, J, and we had made plans to go clubbing. Im on top of the world, I thought. Ill just do both.

 

Her plan was to meet up at a far too exclusive NY nightclub at midnight. I show up a half hour late and pretty drunk, only to find that J is already inside with her friends. Ok, wait on line. It's a long line, 10 minutes pass. Of course the bouncers are all dickwads but they tell me to call her up and maybe she can come down and get them to let me in. When J gets downstairs the bouncers tell me to go to the back of the line. Arguments are futile. Repeat. Theyre clearly just fucking with me, Ive got no chance of getting in. J stays in the club with her friends. A bit shitty of her.

 

I had brought along a flask of whiskey, and it was really cold. So by my third time in line I was completely wasted. My last memory, Im lying in the gutter giving the finger to everyone waiting on line. Theyre all laughing at my drunk ass. Next thing I remember Im lying on my face at the bottom of the subway stairs with blood in my mouth. Did a full on faceplant, smashed my lip, chipped both front teeth.

 

I wake up in my own bed at 9 am to a phonecall. The job. "Where are you, we started at 8.30?" Shit, I must have turned off my alarm while drunk. Stagger onto my bike, promising to be there in 15 minutes (its only a couple miles away). Two blocks out I smash into a parked car, bending my handlebar and knocking out the taillight. Fuck, Im still drunk. Couldn't deal with it, kept going.

 

20 minutes of furious pedaling later and I grow suspicious... this area does not look like it could contain a 10-story building, which is where the video is being shot. I check my phone, I had typed in a loose address and it sent me in the wrong direction. I type it in a different way and change course. 5 miles later to my horror I realize that Im pretty close to Coney Island, ie even further in the wrong direction. It's Jay Street, not Avenue J. Fuuuuuuck.

 

So I show up 2 hours late to the job with a smashed face, exhausted, having biked about 15 miles to get there.

 

And I never felt so good being humbled. Put me right in my place. I was strangely at peace all day and perversely this attitude worked wonders at work. Enjoyed the gig immensely and made a good impression despite everything.

 

Now that was way too long, I know. Hope to gain some insight from your own stories.

 

[Anubis]

That's like a Final Destination film, but without the death.

[chrisbonnie]

You won't enjoy paying for a crown though

 

Whiskey though, that was never going to work out right was it? Dodgy stuff that

[Rorschach08]

Pictures of J please!

[llego]

You won't enjoy paying for a crown though

 

Whiskey though, that was never going to work out right was it? Dodgy stuff that

 

Irish stuff too, the old Jameson devil

[Guest ShoePiss]

Very good, it's like an unrighteous story minus the fucking.

 

Did you still have a hangover after the 15 mile bike ride?

[rondeco]

Thats catholic whiskey..

[chrisbonnie]

 

Irish stuff too, the old Jameson devil

 

Horrible stuff, I'm a Paddy and i wouldn't touch it with a barge poll

 

I actually did the Jameson distillery tour about 2 years ago, at the end of the tour we got to taste a few different whiskeys.

 

I'll always remember the tour guide explaining how the glass on our right was Scottish(scotch), and it was only double distilled, while the Jameson was triple distilled. There she was saying to me, "cant you taste the difference, its more rich right".

 

I took a SIP, coughed, and replied, "no love, the two of them taste like fiery shite"

 

Disgusting invention

[llego]

 

Did you still have a hangover after the 15 mile bike ride?

 

Come to think of it not at all, did the trick perfectly, might try it again next time

[Section_31]

I like Jameson.

[chauncey]

Too much Jameson bashing in here.

[RedKnight]

I too like Jamesons. With Cranberry. What?

[Carvalho Diablo]

That's like a Final Destination film, but without the teeth.

 

Fixed.

[chrisbonnie]

if you want real drunken madness, get yourself some Poítín (irish moon shine)

 

never had it myself, but two mates had a night on it a few years ago and woke up all fucked up

 

one lad woke up in the bathroom with his cacks around his ankles and a black (not bum raped, well, he doesnt think so)

 

the other woke up downstairs with a massive gash on his head.

 

they obviously bashed each other, and maybe had bum love. Now thats real fighting juice!!!!

[llego]

if you want real drunken madness, get yourself some Poítín (irish moon shine)

 

never had it myself, but two mates had a night on it a few years ago and woke up all fucked up

 

one lad woke up in the bathroom with his cacks around his ankles and a black (not bum raped, well, he doesnt think so)

 

the other woke up downstairs with a massive gash on his head.

 

they obviously bashed each other, and maybe had bum love. Now thats real fighting juice!!!!

 

Hahaha, what do you mean a black?

[The Tott]

if you want real drunken madness, get yourself some Poítín (irish moon shine)

 

never had it myself, but two mates had a night on it a few years ago and woke up all fucked up

 

one lad woke up in the bathroom with his cacks around his ankles and a black (not bum raped, well, he doesnt think so)

 

the other woke up downstairs with a massive gash on his head.

 

they obviously bashed each other, and maybe had bum love. Now thats real fighting juice!!!!

 

No no no no no no no never again

[s(k)aturation]

I went to my sister's wedding over the weekend.

A 2-day traditional Croatian type of one.

It was full of old-fashioned jokes, old-fashioned people, old-fashioned marriages, old-fashioned music, old-fashioned food and old-fashioned drinking.

I didn't end up with any broken teeth luckily, but I did get nice and happy drunk. And I learned plenty about how old-fashioned things can sometimes put our new-fashioned, too-clever-by-half thinking of today into some perspective. And teach a bit of generosity and humility.

Plum Brandy. Give it a try sometime.

[llego]

I went to my sister's wedding over the weekend.

A 2-day traditional Croatian type of one.

It was full of old-fashioned jokes, old-fashioned people, old-fashioned marriages, old-fashioned music, old-fashioned food and old-fashioned drinking.

I didn't end up with any broken teeth luckily, but I did get nice and happy drunk. And I learned plenty about how old-fashioned things can sometimes put our new-fashioned, too-clever-by-half thinking of today into some perspective. And teach a bit of generosity and humility.

Plum Brandy. Give it a try sometime.

 

Like this?

 

[YOUTUBE]98bkdRgTW4M[/YOUTUBE]

[s(k)aturation]

Yeah, pretty much.

 

Like this?

 

 

[YOUTUBE]98bkdRgTW4M[/YOUTUBE]

[llego]

A karmically fitting addendum:

 

J felt so bad about what happened that she did me a favor and broke up with me. When'd you decide that, I asked. Her reply- Friday night, during the fracas.

 

To be honest I took it with a smile and a feeling of calm acceptance. The most amicable breakup Ive ever had, actually.

 

And I guess there's now no harm in honoring the picture request.

 

[Magic Sponge]

The universe has a funny way of kicking you in the bollocks.

 

I feel ya pain.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Don't feel too bad, I mean not everyone gets to get dumped by Isla Fisher*

 

hopefully not just me that see's the likeness in that picture!

[thesouthafrican]

Well done for putting on a really brave front after a shitty week.

 

Just hope you don't 'snap' and go on a whisky-fuelled, machete killing spree.

[Dan]

I went out and bought a 40 inch Tele,a ps3,fifa 12,a headset and MW3 and two hours later my birds waters broke.....that's what I call a humbling.

 

Still though,I'm chuffed as Fuck and can't contain it!

[llego]

I went out and bought a 40 inch Tele,a ps3,fifa 12,a headset and MW3 and two hours later my birds waters broke.....that's what I call a humbling.

 

Still though,I'm chuffed as Fuck and can't contain it!

 

Brilliant!