God I hate ITV

[Thants]

World Cup 2010: When England play, it's not 'them and us'. It's 'we' | Clive Tyldesley | Football | The Guardian

 

 

World Cup 2010: When England play, it's not 'them and us'. It's 'we'

 

Accusations of bias lose their sting when the Three Lions play in a World Cup. I hope the USA are hammered tonight

 

More than a decade and a million cliches ago, I commentated on the second leg of the England v Scotland Euro 2000 play-off. A couple of minutes into the game, I noticed that my co-commentator, Ron Atkinson, was referring to England as "we" and "us".

 

It didn't sound "right" – certainly not politically "correct"– and I thought about scribbling him a note, asking him to stop. But it soon became apparent that Ron was slating "us" and praising "them". He wasn't biased, he was just English.

 

Well, I'm English too. And despite a couple of wonderful holidays in South Carolina, a fascination with JFK and a love of Jim Morrison, Missy Elliott, Fred Couples and Woody Allen, I would dearly like England to spank USA's backside in Rustenburg tomorrow night. And it may just show.

 

I won't be a cheerleader, still less a xenophobe, and I will try very hard to be as objective as Ron was that night at Wembley. But this is a different assignment from any other for a British TV commentator. This is England at the World Cup.

 

When Michael Owen scored "that" goal against Argentina in 1998, I was watching at ITV's Paris studios with my colleague Peter Drury. When the gathered clan of researchers and technicians had come back down from the ceiling, I remarked to Peter that if I'd learnt anything in that moment it was that you can say whatever you like after such a goal, because nobody's really listening. I don't think for one moment that tonight is a night for bons mots.

 

Back in the days of the late, great Brian Moore there was a current of support flowing behind any English club team that took on the "foe" in Europe. Not any more. When Manchester United play a Champions League game on ITV, there are probably as many viewers hoping they lose as win. I hope we reflect that. But tomorrow – for every exiled American, staunch Scot and member of Marcus Hahnemann's family watching – there will be a million committed England fans.

 

Be warned. Expect the occasional "we".

 

Clive Tyldesley is the match commentator for tonight's ITV1 and ITV1 HD coverage

 

 

I'm all for England winning but the bit in bold really sums them up. They think they can say what they want when really they're pissing off half the population with their turgid hyperbole.

[Welsh]

Which is why I know I'll be getting pissed off tonight watching the game.

[greenoak]

when ITV show the game the ONLY option is the mute button or better still 5 live from the radio.

 

The stupid horn is bad enough but that crap Tyldesley Drury and Beglin spout makes you want to vomit.......

 

ITV football is a joke, always has been and always will be.....

[gkmacca]

Anyone like Chiles who moves from the Beeb to ITV has made a Faustian deal and deserves nothing but derision. What I hate most about their football coverage is that it's like an empty box wrapped up in gold leaf. They bring in a presenter (Chiles) whose downbeat style is the least suited to the channel, assemble the most witless team of analysts imaginable (Andy 'Begorrah' Townsend, Gareth 'Besnorrah' Southgate and someone else they nicked form the Beeb, Desailly) and top the whole thing off with a commentator (Clive Tiddley) who thinks he's a great wit and can't even pronounce the letter 't' as anything other than 'd' (e.g. 'Thad magical nide in Barcelona when Manchesder Unided...') and another one (Peter Drury) who wets his knickers whenever anything mildly noteworthy occurs. Then ITV hurls huge amounts of money hyping the whole thing up! It's like David Blunkett opening a hairdresser's salon and spending all his money on styling wax. It's bloody shit and an insult to the eyes and ears. Even my fecking FEET hate ITV!

[Original202]

Yesterdays coverage on both channels was crap.

 

Loads of patronising comments about Africa and how this is so amazing for the "colourful" locals etc

 

Loads of patronising comments about the Uzbek and Japanese referees - as if they were expecting people from these funny little countries to be totally shit.

 

And then Hansen talking to Adebayor in the typical Brits abroad type speak "You think France are good team, Emanuel, yes? Good technique?"

[Carradona]

I thought the Japanese ref was useless and wouldn't let the game flow at all.

[RedKnight]

Yesterdays coverage on both channels was crap.

 

Loads of patronising comments about Africa and how this is so amazing for the "colourful" locals etc

 

Loads of patronising comments about the Uzbek and Japanese referees - as if they were expecting people from these funny little countries to be totally shit.

 

And then Hansen talking to Adebayor in the typical Brits abroad type speak "You think France are good team, Emanuel, yes? Good technique?"

 

Wouldn't be a World Cup without that stuff.

[RedKnight]

I thought the Japanese ref was useless and wouldn't let the game flow at all.

 

Nah he was pretty good, the game not flowing was due to the teams being shithouses.

[Carradona]

Nah he was pretty good, the game not flowing was due to the teams being shithouses.

 

He made some good decisions, but I just felt that any time a player went in for a slide tackle, he couldn't wait to blow the whistle and give a free kick.

 

The officials in the first game were better, and in particular, the linesman who spotted the offside goal.

[DPW]

That barmy night in Barcelona.

 

As if Clive Tyldesley has a fascination with Missy Misdemeanor Elliott.

 

What a complete pleb.

 

ITV sucks massively. Such a shower of shite coverage.

[gkmacca]

And then Hansen talking to Adebayor in the typical Brits abroad type speak "You think France are good team, Emanuel, yes? Good technique?"

 

To be fair to Hansen he probably had the director shouting in his ear 'Get that idiot to say something'. That's the mistake both channels make at these tournaments - they hire well-known names who suit the host country and/or the competition in some way or another, and then have to teach then 'on the job' how to contribute. Once again, though, all ITV has done this time is wait for the BBC to get Desailly reasonably coherent, and not quite as loud, and then offer him more to go over to them!

[RedKnight]

Desailly was shit yesterday, I reckon Seedorf may be boss for the BBC.

[Pidge]

And then Hansen talking to Adebayor in the typical Brits abroad type speak "You think France are good team, Emanuel, yes? Good technique?"

 

To be fair to Hansen, he's exactly the same when sat next to a manager who's on MoTD for the first time, he also treated Dean Ashton the same last season. He's not an interviewer so it always seems a bit out of place when he asks his scripted question which is designed to ease the new boy in.

 

At least he's not as bad as Townshend who not only asks the question but then rambles on answering the question himself, which usually leaves the guest with nothing to say.

[birkenhead]

Clive Tyldesley is the match commentator for tonight's ITV1 and ITV1 HD coverage

 

Everytime hear this cunts voice i will smile thinking of this pic :)

 

[BolshieBastard]

World Cup 2010: When England play, it's not 'them and us'. It's 'we' | Clive Tyldesley | Football | The Guardian

 

 

World Cup 2010: When England play, it's not 'them and us'. It's 'we'

 

Accusations of bias lose their sting when the Three Lions play in a World Cup. I hope the USA are hammered tonight

 

More than a decade and a million cliches ago, I commentated on the second leg of the England v Scotland Euro 2000 play-off. A couple of minutes into the game, I noticed that my co-commentator, Ron Atkinson, was referring to England as "we" and "us".

 

It didn't sound "right" – certainly not politically "correct"– and I thought about scribbling him a note, asking him to stop. But it soon became apparent that Ron was slating "us" and praising "them". He wasn't biased, he was just English.

 

Well, I'm English too. And despite a couple of wonderful holidays in South Carolina, a fascination with JFK and a love of Jim Morrison, Missy Elliott, Fred Couples and Woody Allen, I would dearly like England to spank USA's backside in Rustenburg tomorrow night. And it may just show.

 

I won't be a cheerleader, still less a xenophobe, and I will try very hard to be as objective as Ron was that night at Wembley. But this is a different assignment from any other for a British TV commentator. This is England at the World Cup.

 

When Michael Owen scored "that" goal against Argentina in 1998, I was watching at ITV's Paris studios with my colleague Peter Drury. When the gathered clan of researchers and technicians had come back down from the ceiling, I remarked to Peter that if I'd learnt anything in that moment it was that you can say whatever you like after such a goal, because nobody's really listening. I don't think for one moment that tonight is a night for bons mots.

 

Back in the days of the late, great Brian Moore there was a current of support flowing behind any English club team that took on the "foe" in Europe. Not any more. When Manchester United play a Champions League game on ITV, there are probably as many viewers hoping they lose as win. I hope we reflect that. But tomorrow – for every exiled American, staunch Scot and member of Marcus Hahnemann's family watching – there will be a million committed England fans.

 

Be warned. Expect the occasional "we".

 

Clive Tyldesley is the match commentator for tonight's ITV1 and ITV1 HD coverage

 

 

I'm all for England winning but the bit in bold really sums them up. They think they can say what they want when really they're pissing off half the population with their turgid hyperbole.

 

Ok do fuck off with your childish opinion.

[torahboy]

Everytime hear this cunts voice i will smile thinking of this pic :)

 

 

Fucking hell! Looks like a ventriloquist's demon dummy.

[Wor Horse]

He'll mention that night in Barcelona at least twice tonight. That fat robot wars cunt on the BBC is the same as well.

 

Shouted MANCHESTER UNITED! When Heinze scored today, the biased cunt.

[JBarnes]

Jonathan Pearce is good, not as good as the radio lot (5Live) but I don't mind Pearce, better than anything on Sky or ITV.

[gkmacca]

Fucking hell! Looks like a ventriloquist's demon dummy.

 

Very true. This is probably the moment he escaped from his merseyside hell and headed to Manchester:

 

[Stu Monty]

It's balmy, not barmy. Isn't it?

 

Missy Elliott?

 

Fuck off Clive, you're not fooling anyone.

[JBarnes]

Christ I hate Adrian Chiles

[AndonAndonAndon]

The Itv HD channel cut to adverts just as the build up started to Gerrard's goal, their coverage then re-started showing the England players celebrating. The bunch of useless fucking muppets.

[fagus]

The Itv HD channel cut to adverts just as the build up started to Gerrard's goal, their coverage then re-started showing the England players celebrating. The bunch of useless fucking muppets.

 

they are a fucking disgrace mate they did the same thing during the cup replay vesus the bitters last year, and as for the fucking shots of fucking beckham through the game

[chauncey]

they are a fucking disgrace mate they did the same thing during the cup replay vesus the bitters last year, and as for the fucking shots of fucking beckham through the game

 

[chauncey]

The BBC isn't beyond criticism either: are they going to have subtitles for Adebayor then?

 

Not racist btw - some of my best friends are inarticulate wankers.