What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Trumo]

"Little Mpupu is just 8 years old, but every morning he has to walk 10 miles to a river to collect water for his family. That water is teeming with parasites, diseases and animal waste, yet it is all Mpupu and his family have to drink. He often goes without food for days on end, and is suffering from hunger and malnutrition. We showed Mpupu the breakfast thread on TLW, and Mpupu decided that he would rather remain happy in life as he is right now. He even offered to give us our £3 a month back so he never ever has to eat that swill. Be like Mpupu. Save a life."

[Guest]

TLW Liver Aids.

[lifetime fan]

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

[YorkshireRed]

6 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

I suppose as it’s slimming world and you’re trying to do a nice thing for your bird then any criticism should reflect that.

 

Other than the sausages, bacon, tomatoes, fried potatoes, beans and scrambled eggs it’s absolutely fine. 

[Tony Moanero]

10 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

Cherry tomatoes are for salads. I was once banned from a poncy cafe for saying I didn’t like my scrambled eggs gooey like that. 

 

Them: “That’s the only way you can cook scrambled eggs.”

 

Me: Rubbish, you can cook them how ever you like.”

[mgw100]

Chips are my go to option as well if I'm trying to lose weight

[Bjornebye]

28 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

Don’t ever speak to me again. 

[Guest]

30 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Dog tongues? Pony cocks? Vomit? Pigs trotters? Camel teeth? Red-Eyed Tree Frog's eyes?

 

I'd chuck that in the bin and called it a 'Slimming World Fuck Up'.

[cloggypop]

Are they special Slimming World beans or do you just rinse normal ones in a sieve? 

[Bruce Spanner]

If you throw it up no calories, smart.

[Mudface]

Christ, are you trying to get her to dump you?

[Anubis]

Credit where credit is due, he didn’t burn any of it.

[KMD7]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

End of days stuff there.

[Nunavut Patrick]

On 22/08/2020 at 07:51, Mook said:

Get fucked.

The lad is eyeing up the kidneys; only a matter of time before he moves on to human ones. 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

weird looking bacon

From Canada I reckon.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

2 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Cherry tomatoes are for salads. I was once banned from a poncy cafe for saying I didn’t like my scrambled eggs gooey like that. 

 

Them: “That’s the only way you can cook scrambled eggs.”

 

Me: Rubbish, you can cook them how ever you like.”

All that critique, Tony, and yet you forgot to note that Lifey has egregiously decided that Richmond 'Sausages' are an acceptable breakfast item.

[lifetime fan]

4 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

All that critique, Tony, and yet you forgot to note that Lifey has egregiously decided that Richmond 'Sausages' are an acceptable breakfast item.

 

 

[Scott_M]

Richmond sausages ingredients...

 

 

...personally I thought they were 90% saw dust.

[Barrington Womble]

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

[TheHowieLama]

Look at the sausage breakwater!!!

 

Legendary.

[Elite]

Just now, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

The normal chef must still be on furlough.

[Karl_b]

11 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

They've absolutely fucked that. Repped though, obviously.

[Stouffer]

21 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

Plenty of pepper on the eggs, just the way I like it.

[YorkshireRed]

15 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

The eggs look like they did a stint upside down in a hamster cage before being served up.

 

Tomato looks like the plate was ready to go when the criminal masquerading as a chef suddenly realised he’d forgotten to cook it so just chopped one in half direct from the fridge and hoped you wouldn’t notice. 
 

That sausage looks like it’s sacrificing itself to the bean tsunami to save his mates H. Brown and B. Pudding. They probably don’t give a fuck about him and won’t even go to the funeral. Such is life. 

[Barrington Womble]

39 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

A lot of pepper on those eggs, the tomato looks raw, that hash brown looks like fried fish, there’s no visible butter on the toast and beans have no place on a cooked breakfast obviously. Still it’s not all bad, the sausages look tasty. 

To counter some of those bits despite my fume, the toast was butter and cut so buttered pieces faced each other. Hash browns were actually pretty good. They must cost about 2p each, there should be more.