The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Reading the Celebrity Tits Out thread and realising not only do I not know half the modern actresses, but my first reaction to most pictures is "Look at the state of that room". I clean up if I'm putting a picture on gumtree, so I'd assume flashing your axe wound would at least call for picking socks up off the floor.

[Captain Turdseye]

Had to cancel a night out playing snooker because I bent down to tie my daughter's shoelaces and pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder when I stood up.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Watched the footy Tuesday night, 2 pints and in bed by 10:30.  Went out to meet a mate on Weds, 5 pints and in bed by half 10.

 

Yesterday I was absolutely goosed, my kidneys hurt and I am shattered still today

[ZonkoVille77]

Every little ache, twinge or increase in heart rate and I'm convinced I'm dying.

[Remmie]

Had to cancel a night out playing snooker because I bent down to tie my daughter's shoelaces and pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder when I stood up.

You probably could have stopped at "night out playing snooker"

[Champ]

Every little ache, twinge or increase in heart rate and I'm convinced I'm dying.

Is that not called hypochondria?

[ZonkoVille77]

Is that not called hypochondria?

I believe hypochondria to be the obsessive worry that you're in bad health.

 

Feeling like you're about to keel over after activities is a lot different.

[manwiththestick]

Had to cancel a night out playing snooker because I bent down to tie my daughter's shoelaces and pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder when I stood up.

The fact that I have read this and thought I'd love a night out playing snooker.

[Champ]

I believe hypochondria to be the obsessive worry that you're in bad health.

 

Feeling like you're about to keel over after activities is a lot different.

And that’s called ‘lack of fitness’...I’ll give you a free pass if you’re in your 80s

[tokyojoe]

I watched an episode of Juliet Bravo last night.

[Dr Nowt]

My reaction to an attractive, “bubbly” early 20 year old lass being in my house is for me to be outside of my house.

 

Even when it’s raining.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Natures cold shower

[Dr Nowt]

Just nice to be away from the words.

 

The interminable fucking words.

[General Dryness]

Just nice to be away from the words.

 

The interminable fucking words.

It's not nice when someone is speaking the same language as you and yet you still have no clue what they're saying.

 

It's happening to me more and more often these days.

[Furmedge]

Started doing supermarket price comparisons online.

[ZonkoVille77]

I'm planning on re-doing my patio and pissed off I didn't keep some off cuts of the old decking boards to use as a guideline.

My dad wouldn't be proud of me now.

[Stouffer]

I'm on the lookout for a new nose hair trimmer as my current beakstrimmer 5000 just doesn't have the oomph.

[Section_31]

I'm on the lookout for a new nose hair trimmer as my current beakstrimmer 5000 just doesn't have the oomph.

I have two. I recommend getting them waxed, amazing stuff, cotton buds in hot wax up the shnoz, rip out what appears to be two giant spiders and I can breathe again for the first time in years.

[Stouffer]

I have two. I recommend getting them waxed, amazing stuff, cotton buds in hot wax up the shnoz, rip out what appears to be two giant spiders and I can breathe again for the first time in years.

I'm far too much of a pussy for that.

 

I could always just immac my nostrils and try and sneeze the guff out.

[lifetime fan]

I have two. I recommend getting them waxed, amazing stuff, cotton buds in hot wax up the shnoz, rip out what appears to be two giant spiders and I can breathe again for the first time in years.

 

No fucking chance!

 

I was still sneezing three days later.

[Mook]

I pull nose hairs out, I'm too tight to pay to get rid of the fucking things.

[Captain Turdseye]

Had to cancel a night out playing snooker because I bent down to tie my daughter's shoelaces and pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder when I stood up.

Declined the invitation to a day/night out playing snooker tomorrow so I can stay at home and watch the football.

[Captain Turdseye]

Could have watched it in the club but it will be absolutely rammed with Chelsea mutants. Don’t want to end up snapping my cue.

[Champ]

My phone contract's up so I'm doing my research for a new phone.

 

I called in at Carfone Warehouse earlier and the sales bod is giving me the chat and after showing me the prices deals he asks me whether I want to keep my old phone or trade it in...maybe pass it on to one of my grandchildren! The cheeky sod. How old did he think I am?!?!?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My phone contract's up so I'm doing my research for a new phone.

 

I called in at Carfone Warehouse earlier and the sales bod is giving me the chat and after showing me the prices deals he asks me whether I want to keep my old phone or trade it in...maybe pass it on to one of my grandchildren! The cheeky sod. How old did he think I am?!?!?

Ouch. U ok hun? Xxox