little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Rushies tash]

Was running the line for my youngest lad's team today (something I enjoy doing, and am pretty decent at), only to have my every decision quite loudly questioned by the manager of the other team. Not only that, the kids in his team started screaming at me, despite being a good 5 or 6 yards off on regular occasions. Had to remember that I was an adult at a kid's game and politely repeat to them that they were indeed, off.

[VladimirIlyich]

12 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

Was running the line for my youngest lad's team today (something I enjoy doing, and am pretty decent at), only to have my every decision quite loudly questioned by the manager of the other team. Not only that, the kids in his team started screaming at me, despite being a good 5 or 6 yards off on regular occasions. Had to remember that I was an adult at a kid's game and politely repeat to them that they were indeed, off.

Try being a referee mate. You have to have skin thicker than a Hippo's ballsack.

[dockers_strike]

On 29/03/2022 at 15:15, Captain Willard said:

Fussy binmen. They’re like the fucking Taliban in Epsom, checking through your green bin for ‘contamination’ then refusing to take it away. Back on the day you could put anything in the bin, my dad once threw away an engine block from an old Cortina, no questions asked. Not anymore. 

Fucking hell, would have thought the binnies would have had some proper posh job title in Epsom like 'Recyclable Management Operatives' or something!

[VladimirIlyich]

15 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

Was running the line for my youngest lad's team today (something I enjoy doing, and am pretty decent at), only to have my every decision quite loudly questioned by the manager of the other team. Not only that, the kids in his team started screaming at me, despite being a good 5 or 6 yards off on regular occasions. Had to remember that I was an adult at a kid's game and politely repeat to them that they were indeed, off.

Do the ref's let you do offsides or is it small sided games? I wont allow the lines to do offsides,just throw ins,in 11v11 games of course.

[dockers_strike]

18 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

Was running the line for my youngest lad's team today (something I enjoy doing, and am pretty decent at), only to have my every decision quite loudly questioned by the manager of the other team. Not only that, the kids in his team started screaming at me, despite being a good 5 or 6 yards off on regular occasions. Had to remember that I was an adult at a kid's game and politely repeat to them that they were indeed, off.

It's crazy the abuse dished out by some parents at these kids games. These twats need severe sanctions applied. Either act like a responsible adult in front of the kids or fuck off.

[Rushies tash]

Just now, VladimirIlyich said:

Do the ref's let you do offsides or is it small sided games? I wont allow the lines to do offsides,just throw ins,in 11v11 games of course.

It's 9v9 (they go up to 11 a side next season) and I flag for offside and throw ins. Even if I am saying so myself, I get 99% of my decisions spot on. At one point today, 3 of their lads ran off at a free kick (they just went too early) - I flagged and their manager shouted over that I'd have flagged whether they were off or not. Fuck sake, I wonder if kids games are like this in other countries?

[Rushies tash]

7 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

It's crazy the abuse dished out by some parents at these kids games. These twats need severe sanctions applied. Either act like a responsible adult in front of the kids or fuck off.

Funnily enough, their parents were sound. It was the manager and kids with the issues. I did the line a few months ago for my eldest lad and had some 15 year old front me up saying that I was "chatting shit bruv" for (correctly) giving a throw the other way. He was losing 14-1 at the time...

[VladimirIlyich]

13 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

It's 9v9 (they go up to 11 a side next season) and I flag for offside and throw ins. Even if I am saying so myself, I get 99% of my decisions spot on. At one point today, 3 of their lads ran off at a free kick (they just went too early) - I flagged and their manager shouted over that I'd have flagged whether they were off or not. Fuck sake, I wonder if kids games are like this in other countries?

This is one of the reasons why I,nor my league,allow parents or club officials to do offside. Knobheads like that manager shouldn't be near kid's football either.

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

I was "chatting shit bruv" for (correctly) giving a throw the other way. He was losing 14-1 at the time...

Back when I was a football prodigy (in my head anyway) we once played a team whose best result in the whole season was a 0-14 reverse.

My particular team did them 20+ to zip, home and away.

 

More than thirty years later it still makes me smile how we walked off the pitch in one of the games with half their team and their manager berating the referee for his performance. You had to admire their coping strategies, given how completely garbage they all were at football. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

Back when I was a football prodigy (in my head anyway) we once played a team whose best result in the whole season was a 0-14 reverse.

My particular team did them 20+ to zip, home and away.

 

More than thirty years later it still makes me smile how we walked off the pitch in one of the games with half their team and their manager berating the referee for his performance. You had to admire their coping strategies, given how completely garbage they all were at football. 

This is not as rare as you might think.

[Rushies tash]

4 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

This is one of the reasons why I,nor my league,allow parents or club officials to do offside. Knobheads like that manager shouldn't be near kid's football either.

I just want to do the best job I can for both teams playing and take pride in being impartial, but I know what you mean. A couple of weeks ago, one opposition parent basically told our lot that he had the hump and was going to flag for everything.

[Captain Willard]

A few years ago I saw a manager walk his team of under 12s off the pitch becuase they were losing 4.0 with about 15 mins still to play. Disgraceful thing to do. 

[Rushies tash]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

A few years ago I saw a manager walk his team of under 12s off the pitch becuase they were losing 4.0 with about 15 mins still to play. Disgraceful thing to do. 

You do wonder what issues some of them have, or whether they're trying to compensate for something. The team my lad played today were good enough without all the whingeing and gamesmanship, but they clearly took their lead from the manager. He had a couple of assistants who looked embarrassed by him by the end.

[Captain Willard]

41 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

You do wonder what issues some of them have, or whether they're trying to compensate for something. The team my lad played today were good enough without all the whingeing and gamesmanship, but they clearly took their lead from the manager. He had a couple of assistants who looked embarrassed by him by the end.

A manager in our league goes ballistic every game, actually almost crying at times with anger and frustration. This is division 6 of the Surrey under 13 league. If the kids string 4 passes together, the rest of us are clapping. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

A manager in our league goes ballistic every game, actually almost crying at times with anger and frustration. This is division 6 of the Surrey under 13 league. If the kids string 4 passes together, the rest of us are clapping. 

It's funny how the worst teams seem to have the most animated managers. I wonder if there is a correlation!

[Chairman Meow]

On 29/03/2022 at 15:15, Captain Willard said:

 my dad once threw away an engine block from an old Cortina

 

Was it a 711M or a 681F block? 

[YorkshireRed]

Mud that doesn’t have scantily clad females wrestling in it. 
 

The arrogance of it as it get everywhere despite being uninvited. It needs taking down a peg or two quick smart. 

[Captain Willard]

12 minutes ago, Chairman Meow said:

 

Was it a 711M or a 681F block? 

1600E GT.

We also had a Granada.  

[Dave D]

When you cut wrapping paper and find its not enough to wrap what you had in mind- or worse still, you wrap it then get a bit of sellotape caught on it and tear it 

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Dave D said:

When you cut wrapping paper and find its not enough to wrap what you had in mind- or worse still, you wrap it then get a bit of sellotape caught on it and tear it 

Wrapping stuff falls under the category ‘dark arts’.
 

I long since realised I wasn’t equipped with the necessary knowledge, skill or attitude to complete such sorcery. It was around this time that I met the wife.

[Stouffer]

I'm great at wrapping presents; I have finesse. 

[Harry's Lad]

27 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

I'm great at wrapping presents; I have finesse. 

My Mrs is great at wrapping presents. They're so well wrapped you can't fucking open them.

[Bobby Hundreds]

My nan would take forever unwrapping a fucking present, peel the cellotape take care not to rip the paper a right fucking rigmarole and then once she was done she'd crumple it all up and whack it in a bin bag. 

[Captain Willard]

My father in law keeps the paper, moans like fuck if you tear it. Completely takes the joy out of opening your presents. You’re on edge the whole time. 

[Elite]

When your hands are full and you need to open the car door, the keys are always in the pocket underneath the arm carrying the most weight.