little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Razoray]

On 10/10/2020 at 10:12, Elite said:

Aren't shit magicians just clowns? 

Shit magicians aren't generally scary bastards, so no. 

[Champ]

The almost daily emails from shops telling me to stock up for Halloween and Christmas. It’s bad enough in normal times but there isn’t going to be any Halloween or Christmas ffs 

[Dougie Do'ins]

1 hour ago, Champ said:

The almost daily emails from shops telling me to stock up for Halloween and Christmas. It’s bad enough in normal times but there isn’t going to be any Halloween or Christmas ffs 

There is. They're just going to be a much more low key like they used to be before gluttony took over.  

[A Red]

The showers in campsites. Press the button and the water comes out freezing for 5 seconds, keep pressing it and eventually its reasonably warm then the next press its fucking freezing then back to warm again. All this whilst trying to wash yourself 1 handed.

[Champ]

3 hours ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

There is. They're just going to be a much more low key like they used to be before gluttony took over.  

To a point but the Halloween and Christmas I have always known have been big social events and I can’t see anything like that being possible in a fortnight or even however long it is til Christmas 

[Mook]

If Christmas is cancelled then this virus will have been worth it.

 

[manwiththestick]

Just now, Mook said:

If Christmas is cancelled then this virus will have been worth it.

 

Haha, my thoughts exactly!

 

I joke of course because the virus is no laughing matter but I can't stand Christmas.

[johnsusername]

I love Christmas, I'm a Christmasist. But I hate social occasions, can't be arsed with them. If the virus means I'm locked down with the family playing with the kids toys, eating sweets and watching Christmas telly them I'm all for it.

[General Dryness]

On 10/10/2020 at 21:46, YorkshireRed said:

I have the greatest neighbour in the history of neighbours. Basically it’s owned by a rich woman, about my age, who’s married to a much older guy. Their real home is some massive affair a few miles away. She uses next door as a ‘party house’ as he’s not bothered about that sort of stuff any more but let’s her have her freedom. It’s only used occasionally so most of the time it’s empty. If I time my return from Saturday afternoon/evening drinking correctly she invites me over. Last time there were hot lesbians, shit loads of cocaine on a tray and nice snacks. There was also a magician but he was shit. The only problem is my wife gets really pissed off if she finds out I went over there, no idea why. It would be better if the house was a few doors down, rather than right next door. 

Wasn't your wife on the verge of leaving you a little while back?

 

I think I know why.

[Remmie]

7 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Wasn't your wife on the verge of leaving you a little while back?

 

I think I know why.

Yep, me too, never uses coasters when drinking his Horlicks. 

 

An absolute animal. 

[YorkshireRed]

17 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Yep, me too, never uses coasters when drinking his Horlicks. 

 

An absolute animal. 

This would definitely be a ‘leaving me’ offence. No coming back from doing that. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

[lifetime fan]

8 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

Is more ale classed as a ‘snack’? 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Double spacing. It’s wrong, stupid, and looks disgusting. Don’t even get me started on triple spacing. Also, Americans putting sentence-ending punctuation inside quotes and in parentheses. Use logical punctuation, you weirdos. 

[Captain Turdseye]

47 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Is more ale classed as a ‘snack’? 

If you’re a beaked up magician then yeah. 

[chrisbonnie]

Not sure if this is going on in England now, or just here in Ireland. But with this covid shit, packing your shopping bags in the shops is a right pain in the bollox. 

 

I don't mean your weekly shop, but just going over for a few bits and bobs, you have to squeeze your items under the clear screen and the till workers are instructed to not push the items back, so you then have to squeeze your arms underneath to get your loaf of bread back. 

 

Fuck off and just push the bread and milk back...... 

[Mudface]

3 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Not sure if this is going on in England now, or just here in Ireland. But with this covid shit, packing your shopping bags in the shops is a right pain in the bollox. 

 

I don't mean your weekly shop, but just going over for a few bits and bobs, you have to squeeze your items under the clear screen and the till workers are instructed to not push the items back, so you then have to squeeze your arms underneath to get your loaf of bread back. 

 

Fuck off and just push the bread and milk back...... 

IS THERE NO END TO THIS MADNESS?

 

Agree, it can be very awkward, our local Co-Op is a pain in the arse for this.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Not sure if this is going on in England now, or just here in Ireland. But with this covid shit, packing your shopping bags in the shops is a right pain in the bollox. 

 

I don't mean your weekly shop, but just going over for a few bits and bobs, you have to squeeze your items under the clear screen and the till workers are instructed to not push the items back, so you then have to squeeze your arms underneath to get your loaf of bread back. 

 

Fuck off and just push the bread and milk back...... 

Haha yeah it's the same here. Most of them pack the bag for you in the shop by ours but one woman stuffs a carrier bag at you under the gap before you've even put your items down. Makes the whole thing a really awkward experience for you. 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

Had a workmate who earned a decent sideline as a magician/ children's entertainer and after a successful two hour stint at a pub in Speke was approached by the father hosting it, offering him £200 and some cocaine to do another hour.

My mate apologised and explained he was booked at another party , whereupon the father shows he has a gun inside his coat & says ' I'm sorry if I made that sound like a request '

Surprisingly enough the dad got the extra hour and the drugs got thrown out of the car window as soon as my mate got out of the car park.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

On 10/10/2020 at 15:09, AngryofTuebrook said:

When people write "lead" instead of "led".

There off there head.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

The magician wasn’t there in a magic capacity. As far as I could tell he was an invited guest who mistakenly thought I’d rather watch card tricks than talk to hot lesbians. It’s probably my own fault, giving off the wrong vibe somehow. 

[Dave D]

Something that irked me recently- people who allow their kids (as in 7 or 8yrs old) to actually sit in the main part of the shopping trolley. Not the little seat at the front, the main bit where you put your shopping.  

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Something that irked me recently- people who allow their kids (as in 7 or 8yrs old) to actually sit in the main part of the shopping trolley. Not the little seat at the front, the main bit where you put your shopping.  

As long as they aren’t in my way I’m fine with that. Little cunts 

[Dave D]

On 10/10/2020 at 09:46, YorkshireRed said:

I have the greatest neighbour in the history of neighbours. Basically it’s owned by a rich woman, about my age, who’s married to a much older guy. Their real home is some massive affair a few miles away. She uses next door as a ‘party house’ as he’s not bothered about that sort of stuff any more but let’s her have her freedom. It’s only used occasionally so most of the time it’s empty. If I time my return from Saturday afternoon/evening drinking correctly she invites me over. Last time there were hot lesbians, shit loads of cocaine on a tray and nice snacks. There was also a magician but he was shit. The only problem is my wife gets really pissed off if she finds out I went over there, no idea why. It would be better if the house was a few doors down, rather than right next door. 

I think you will find you have unwittingly had a walk on role in several pornos. 

[Dave D]

6 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

As long as they aren’t in my way I’m fine with that. Little cunts 

Treading all manner of shit over the trolley where other people will put their food. Cant be be doing with it