Instant cunt identifiers

[moof]

Stop taking pictures of me on the tube you twat

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Far too 'trendy' for you moof. Even at the height of your fashionista skills.

[Jairzinho]

Where the fuck do you put your horse on the train, Moof?

[Bjornebye]

Stop taking pictures of me on the tube you twat

 

Thought it might have been you to be fair

 

weird looking toes out fucker 

[Champ]

No idea what Toms are but I do have an Aussie mate that calls flip flops "thongs" despite my repeated threats to cut his tongue out

Espadrilles for hipsters. That seems to fit the bill. They're supposed to have ethical basis with half the cost going to buy another pair for someone in a developing country

[Bjornebye]

Espadrilles for hipsters. That seems to fit the bill. They're supposed to have ethical basis with half the cost going to buy another pair for someone in a developing country

 

He didn't give off that kind of vibe. More the "I look like i'm effortless but i've made an effort to look like this and I am so london you know, and I take it up the shitter because it's my life and eeee anyone not like me is beneath me" 

[PestiRed]

Espadrilles for hipsters. That seems to fit the bill. They're supposed to have ethical basis with half the cost going to buy another pair for someone in a developing country

Why are we torturing people in developing countries? Don't they have enough problems?

[KMD7]

He didn't give off that kind of vibe. More the "I look like i'm effortless but i've made an effort to look like this and I am so london you know, and I take it up the shitter because it's my life and eeee anyone not like me is beneath me" 

 

An excellent summation in full

[General Dryness]

He didn't give off that kind of vibe. More the "I look like i'm effortless but i've made an effort to look like this and I am so london you know, and I take it up the shitter because it's my life and eeee anyone not like me is beneath me" 

 

But thats enough about you, what about the fella in the shorts?

[Bjornebye]

But thats enough about you, what about the fella in the shorts?

He gave me a blag number

[General Dryness]

He gave me a blag number

 

What a bitch.

[Boss]

He didn't give off that kind of vibe. More the "I look like i'm effortless but i've made an effort to look like this and I am so london you know, and I take it up the shitter because it's my life and eeee anyone not like me is beneath me" 

 

Wasn't that a top 10 hit for Erasure in the 80's?

[Dr Nowt]

Wasn't that a top 10 hit for Erasure in the 80's?

 

The truth is harder for Stig than the pain inside.

[Captain Turdseye]

To be fair to Bjornebye, his sneaky picture taking skills are impressive. I once saw a fat bastard at Stafford Station eating a Mars Bar, then he hit the deck and started having a fit (looked a lot funnier than it sounds). Got my phone out, took a picture and the flash went off. Everyone then turned round and looked at me like I was the cunt.

 

People have got no sense of humour these days.

[stringvest]

To be fair to Bjornebye, his sneaky picture taking skills are impressive. I once saw a fat bastard at Stafford Station eating a Mars Bar, then he hit the deck and started having a fit (looked a lot funnier than it sounds). Got my phone out, took a picture and the flash went off. Everyone then turned round and looked at me like I was the cunt.

People have got no sense of humour these days.

Hahaha! That and the noisy click. Both signs that you're enjoying somebody else's misfortune. Been caught like that myself. Not while some poor twat is flailing around swallowing their tongue though. Top marks.

[Dr Nowt]

To be fair to Bjornebye, his sneaky picture taking skills are impressive. I once saw a fat bastard at Stafford Station eating a Mars Bar, then he hit the deck and started having a fit (looked a lot funnier than it sounds). Got my phone out, took a picture and the flash went off. Everyone then turned round and looked at me like I was the cunt.

 

People have got no sense of humour these days.

 

A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play dead.

[VladimirIlyich]

To be fair to Bjornebye, his sneaky picture taking skills are impressive. I once saw a fat bastard at Stafford Station eating a Mars Bar, then he hit the deck and started having a fit (looked a lot funnier than it sounds). Got my phone out, took a picture and the flash went off. Everyone then turned round and looked at me like I was the cunt.

 

People have got no sense of humour these days.

I thought you said 'the Mars bar hit the deck and he had a fit.'

[Bjornebye]

The mars bar part didn't actually have to be in the story 

 

Funny though 

[Paulie Dangerously]

People who don't know you well but presume to use your nickname or shortened version of your name

[lifetime fan]

Anyone who drinks and then pronounces it Stella cidre.

[Section_31]

People who call you 'top man', especially when they say it twice, with the second one trailing off slightly as they think about the next bit of spiel they're going to spout.

[setreal]

The mars bar part didn't actually have to be in the story 

 

Funny though 

 

It's called "product placement"

[Captain Turdseye]

People who call you 'top man'.

I've been guilty of that one in the past. Used to be my standard response to whoever decided to sell me some drugs that weekend.

[stringvest]

I've been guilty of that one in the past. Used to be my standard response to whoever decided to sell me some drugs that weekend.

 

or whenever anyone asked him where he bought those terrible shorts

[Captain Turdseye]

or whenever anyone asked him where he bought those terrible shorts

Another fashion joke, eh?

 

Next.