The world of a woman.

[Rushies tash]

There's fuck all wrong with a pink polo shirt.

 

With you on that mate. Fuck wearing the collars up though, that's for cunts.

[Champ]

There's fuck all wrong with a pink polo shirt.

Gin and tonic fingers. My rep went neg. Sort this wrong for me someone, please

[General Dryness]

Gin and tonic fingers. My rep went neg. Sort this wrong for me someone, please

 

Sorted. Don't do it again.

[Champ]

Sorted. Don't do it again.

I'll keep my big mouth shut next time

[VladimirIlyich]

I'll keep my big mouth shut next time

Ive heard that before!

I was disappointed then too.

[General Dryness]

I'll keep my big mouth shut next time

Repped in anticipation.

[Paulie Dangerously]

The hand rail is too high.

 

This despite her telling the workie exactly where to put it on the wall and me walking in, looking at it quizzically and him saying "she wanted it at this height" and her confirming it to us both that it was "adult height" and therefore correct. 

 

It's too high for her to hold on to comfortably.  I've told her I'm not ringing the fella back because I'm fine with it so if she wants it moving she can arrange it herself.  

[Trumo]

I'm sure you've wondered this aloud already, but what exactly is wrong with using the banister?

[Paulie Dangerously]

I'm sure you've wondered this aloud already, but what exactly is wrong with using the banister?

 

The initial issue was that the banister was just a plank with a large gap under it which would've been dangerous when the baby starts using the stairs so that gap needed filling..  The stairs are also very steep with a turn the last few steps and we have a downstairs toilet so when her ma stays over who is in her late 60s it can be a bit dodgy.  Likewise if you're carrying the baby down and she's wriggling or shoving a soggy drooled on teddy in your face it would be beneficial to have a handrail for her so I agree 100% that itwas a good idea as we were getting the banister sorted anyway. 

[matt1983]

Me: "donut?"

 

Her:"oh no, I can't"

 

Me:"I thought you were allowed to eat anything you wanted?"

 

Her:"yeah, but I need to eat fruit to counteract it".

 

Jacamo will go bust if this gets out.

"I gained this morning, I put on a pound. It might have been that bottle of red wine...or that donut...or those cookies from Asda...or that KFC...I just didn't eat enough fruit last week"

[Fowlers God]

Been in bed over 24 hours with the shits. Still cant hold water down and she says I'm choosing not to do anything.

[Trumo]

Been in bed over 24 hours with the shits. Still cant hold water down and she says I'm choosing not to do anything.

 

Your bed is going to stink!

[Captain Turdseye]

Been in bed over 24 hours with the shits. Still cant hold water down and she says I'm choosing not to do anything.

That is unfortunate. I've been feeling under the weather for the last couple of days and Mrs Turdseye won't let me do anything. Keeps ordering me to go back to bed and bringing me food.

[Fowlers God]

That is unfortunate. I've been feeling under the weather for the last couple of days and Mrs Turdseye won't let me do anything. Keeps ordering me to go back to bed and bringing me food.

She was fine until the kids came home. I'm trying to segregate myself too so I do not make anyone else ill too. And negged- talking about food you cunt, I'm starving

[lifetime fan]

My dads partner has come home from work with 300 shopping trolley tokens, told him they only cost her £150 'it's like buying money'.

 

When asked how the fuck she worked that out she explained how dad could go to tescos and put a token in all of the trolleys and take the pound coins out.

 

She thought every fucking trolley had a quid in it and not just the end ones.

 

Also loved how she was sending my ol fella to go through 300 trolleys too.

 

Stupid twat.

[Paulie Dangerously]

That's amazing

[scudger99]

My ex wife once informed me that having plants in your bedroom at night was dangerous because they consumed all the oxygen in the room.

How the fuck do you answer that without causing embarrassment ?

[Champ]

My dads partner has come home from work with 300 shopping trolley tokens, told him they only cost her £150 'it's like buying money'.

 

When asked how the fuck she worked that out she explained how dad could go to tescos and put a token in all of the trolleys and take the pound coins out.

 

She thought every fucking trolley had a quid in it and not just the end ones.

 

Also loved how she was sending my ol fella to go through 300 trolleys too.

 

Stupid twat.

 

Pikey

[Trumo]

My ex wife once informed me that having plants in your bedroom at night was dangerous because they consumed all the oxygen in the room.

How the fuck do you answer that without causing embarrassment ?

 

You don't. They deserve it.

[VladimirIlyich]

My dads partner has come home from work with 300 shopping trolley tokens, told him they only cost her £150 'it's like buying money'.

 

When asked how the fuck she worked that out she explained how dad could go to tescos and put a token in all of the trolleys and take the pound coins out.

 

She thought every fucking trolley had a quid in it and not just the end ones.

 

Also loved how she was sending my ol fella to go through 300 trolleys too.

 

Stupid twat.

They give trolley tokens out as freebies to attach to your keyring to avoid having to pay anything at all.

Hope she knows a good scrap metal dealer.

[FanchesterCity]

My ex wife once informed me that having plants in your bedroom at night was dangerous because they consumed all the oxygen in the room.

How the fuck do you answer that without causing embarrassment ?

 

You put her in a polythene bag with a plant and tie it up, explaining to her that it's not your fault, it's the plant nicking the oxygen.

When it's all over, it's two less things to take care of in the bedroom.

[JagSquared]

My boss was moaning about his wife.

 

They are booking a night out with their neighbours, it's a big group that needs two big taxis. He originally suggested they all make their separate ways there. Which is fair enough, only for her to say they need to go together.

 

Annoyed he then suggested the couples split into two groups and meet at one house each and get the taxi from there.

 

She however insists the cabs comes to one house (theirs) and they just drive down the street stopping at each one to pick up the various couples.

 

He's trying to point out this will take more time and cost more as no one will be ready and they'll spend 3 lots of 10 mins waiting outside the persons house while they fanny about.

 

Watching him get wound up on the phone before giving in and then subsequently rant to the rest of us while amusing, was met with nothing but empathy from the rest of us. We've all been there.

 

Poor bastard was just trying to use logic. That'll never work.

[Stu Monty]

There's being a bit quirky and having a slow moment and then there's just the point where you have to accept you're living with a cretin.

[General Dryness]

How come Stigs bird is posting under Stu's username?

[Dr Nowt]

How come Stigs bird is posting under Stu's username?

 

Monty left his phone logged in on here while he was wiping his old chap on Stig's Oasis posters?