The world of a woman.

[niallers]

Came home from work on Friday night bout 11p.m.,my work has split our workforce into 2 shifts now, and she was on that house party app from then to 2.30am with 6 of her friends and not one coherent fact, or sentence even, was uttered in that whole time! Twas just incessant,inane chatter. Near 5 hours of it. Longest I've spent on the phone to the lads was 5 mins. I've never video phoned any of them.

They could use it as torture in Guantanamo. Different species they are

[scudger99]

On 03/04/2020 at 18:01, Stouffer said:

I've just explained to Daisy the the difference to between Nosferatu and Nostradamus.

 

She said, "please don't put this on the forum".

 

[easytoslip]

1 hour ago, scudger99 said:

 

Haha, I can't remember but I was thinking doesn't he fall for the sheep when he sees it or something like that? 

[scudger99]

On 05/04/2020 at 21:33, easytoslip said:

Haha, I can't remember but I was thinking doesn't he fall for the sheep when he sees it or something like that? 

I haven't seen it in years but I'm pretty sure the scene ends up with Wilder falling for Daisy himself and being found in a hotel room with Daisy wearing suspenders or some shit.

[easytoslip]

1 minute ago, scudger99 said:

I haven't seen it in years but I'm pretty sure the scene ends up with Wilder falling for Daisy himself and being found in a hotel room with Daisy wearing suspenders or some shit.

Yeah I think so, no I've not seen it for years haha. 

[Mudface]

 

[Redder Lurtz]

Mrs Lurtz is currently doing a jigsaw. Oddly, as I was out with the dog a couple of days ago, I came across a jigsaw piece on the pavement, of very similar size of the pieces in her jigsaw puzzle. Needless to say I picked it up and I dropped it in amongst the pieces she's got on the table. I cannot fucking wait for her to finish it. 

[VladimirIlyich]

5 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

Mrs Lurtz is currently doing a jigsaw. Oddly, as I was out with the dog a couple of days ago, I came across a jigsaw piece on the pavement, of very similar size of the pieces in her jigsaw puzzle. Needless to say I picked it up and I dropped it in amongst the pieces she's got on the table. I cannot fucking wait for her to finish it. 

You cruel bastard! Nice one.

[Davelfc]

6 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

Mrs Lurtz is currently doing a jigsaw. Oddly, as I was out with the dog a couple of days ago, I came across a jigsaw piece on the pavement, of very similar size of the pieces in her jigsaw puzzle. Needless to say I picked it up and I dropped it in amongst the pieces she's got on the table. I cannot fucking wait for her to finish it. 

Taking a piece is my favourite thing, then putting it back later and taking another piece. You can usually work out where they are up to and select each piece based on that. 

[easytoslip]

On 07/04/2020 at 18:05, Mudface said:

 

Haha

[Bjornebye]

Her (Vegan) "I actually feel sorry for it" 

 

Got Jaws on. Right at the end where Chief Brody is stabbing the fucking thing in the head while its trying to eat him before he blows it up. 

[Mook]

48 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Her (Vegan) "I actually feel sorry for it" 

 

Got Jaws on. Right at the end where Chief Brody is stabbing the fucking thing in the head while its trying to eat him before he blows it up. 

The shark in Jaws is hugely misunderstood to be fair to her. He's actually looking for a vegetarian restaurant when he's rudely interrupted by a load of shrieking humans.

[VladimirIlyich]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

The shark in Jaws is hugely misunderstood to be fair to her. He's actually looking for a vegetarian restaurant when he's rudely interrupted by a load of shrieking humans.

He would never have eaten the humans,they gave him gas.

[Evelyn Tentions]

7 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

He would never have eaten the humans,they gave him gas.

Because they're human beans?

[General Dryness]

6 hours ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Because they're human beans?

 

[A Red]

I must have a form of tourettes

 

My mrs says to me last night "god when this is over i'll be pushing 11 stone" To which I replied (i dont know what came over me) "nah, god! You havent lost that much weight"

 

Shes a size 10/12, has put no noticeable weight on at all and now isnt talking to me

 

[Remmie]

Wife wanted to go to the supermarket for a change as I normally do the shopping while I look after the kids. Asks if I want anything, some beer I say.

 

She comes back with 3 X 330ml cans.

[General Dryness]

3 hours ago, Remmie said:

Wife wanted to go to the supermarket for a change as I normally do the shopping while I look after the kids. Asks if I want anything, some beer I say.

 

She comes back with 3 X 330ml cans.

My mother in law does stuff like that. She lives on the same property as us, and we'll often ask if theres anything each other needs if we're going to the supermarket. She does things like, if I ask her for "some potatoes" I.e. enough to use in a meal, she'll come back with two. And not two large ones either. They'll be the size of golf balls. Yeah, that's gonna go round 3 adults and a child. Dunderhead.

[sir roger]

You guys should thank your lucky stars , my wife will usually forget 50% of what I ask her for , even if I give her a list. Has never once forgotten her wine funnily enough.

[VladimirIlyich]

10 hours ago, A Red said:

I must have a form of tourettes

 

My mrs says to me last night "god when this is over i'll be pushing 11 stone" To which I replied (i dont know what came over me) "nah, god! You havent lost that much weight"

 

Shes a size 10/12, has put no noticeable weight on at all and now isnt talking to me

 

I'd let my missus push me off a cliff if she ever got near 11 stone!

[General Dryness]

16 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'd let my missus push me off a cliff if she ever got near 11 stone!

PM me your address and I'll have a hundredweight of cake delivered.

[Harry Squatter]

My Mrs has become that used to moaning at me and blaming me for everything that she moaned at me for her leaving sharp knives out in the kitchen and her leaving my sons clothes on the bathroom floor after she gave him a shower last night.

 

She did these things, completely  forgot about it but noticed them 30 minutes after she did it and instantly thought it was me. 

 

When I pointed out her mistake stormed off in a huff.

[A Red]

19 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'd let my missus push me off a cliff if she ever got near 11 stone!

Like em fat eh?

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

PM me your address and I'll have a hundredweight of cake delivered.

There'd be no chance she'd push me off then. She'd likely divorce me and marry the cake though.

[Creator Supreme]

11 hours ago, A Red said:

My mrs says to me last night "god when this is over i'll be pushing 11 stone" To which I replied (i dont know what came over me) "nah, god! You havent lost that much weight"

 

Fuck me that's brilliant, what a line!