What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Harry's Lad]

21 minutes ago, Strontium said:

 

It's all vegan apart from the eggs and the butter on the toast.

 

I know this will be negged, but I drank the excess bean juice to get the cooked-down constency that beans should have.

That's toast? Was the toaster working?

 

[Elite]

Ironically, that vegan breakfast looks more alive than any animal possibly could be.

 

[Mudface]

 

Leaving aside the fucked up vine tomatoes and the shit 'toast', what the fuck is this? Is it still alive, is it edible? That's a cunt of a plate too, that no doubt gets worse as you throw things in the bin in disgust. I'm very nervous about the 'black pudding', it's really beetroot and cornmeal or something equally revolting, isn't it?

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

Ironically, that vegan breakfast looks more alive than any animal possibly could be.

 

 

The eggs and whatever the fuck they've been put on look like two eyes and a nose. The rest is like some sort of invasion by the worst of Lovecraft's fantasies.

[TheHowieLama]

3 hours ago, Strontium said:

I will be accepting questions.

 

 

Why?

[Chip Butty]

3 hours ago, Strontium said:

Have it. No doubt I'll offend the purists, but it tasted fucking great. I will be accepting questions.

 

Many plants died in the making of this snuff video on a plate. 
 

 

[Strontium]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

 

Leaving aside the fucked up vine tomatoes and the shit 'toast', what the fuck is this? Is it still alive, is it edible? That's a cunt of a plate too, that no doubt gets worse as you throw things in the bin in disgust. I'm very nervous about the 'black pudding', it's really beetroot and cornmeal or something equally revolting, isn't it?

 

Richmond vegan sausages and bacon. Bury Black Pudding Company vegetarian black pudding. I'm assuming the recipes are basically identical to the meat versions they produce, but with meat substitutes. No frame of reference, but they were all delicious.

[DalyanPete]

On 02/12/2022 at 01:10, Fugitive said:

I can only take you as seriously as seriously as Donald Trump!!!

Take it to the SKD stand.

[DalyanPete]

On 05/12/2022 at 22:31, AdamD said:

Last Saturday. Mushroom, baby plum tomatoes, bacon, 2 fried eggs, bloomer bread toasted, Branston baked beans. Only downside no sausages so sausage patty

Cooked tomato skins don't belong on any plate, dirty bastard things that get stuck in you teeth.

[DalyanPete]

7 hours ago, Strontium said:

Have it. No doubt I'll offend the purists, but it tasted fucking great. I will be accepting questions.

 

So glad I'm a full on meat eater.

Eggs? Jarg vegan breakfast 

[YorkshireRed]

Up in The Lakes for work. This effort is courtesy of The Newby Bridge Hotel. An additional slice of bacon and a grilled tomato were on offer but I declined.

 

7/10

 

 

[Mudface]

3 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Up in The Lakes for work. This effort is courtesy of The Newby Bridge Hotel. An additional slice of bacon and a grilled tomato were on offer but I declined.

 

7/10

 

 

 

You refused bacon? Think an intervention might be in order here, there's obviously something deeply, deeply wrong.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Up in The Lakes for work. This effort is courtesy of The Newby Bridge Hotel. An additional slice of bacon and a grilled tomato were on offer but I declined.

 

7/10

 

 

Apart from the beans that all looks bloody lovely but you refused more? I’d be asking where the rest of it is. 
 

I saw the series The Lakes in the 90s and you aren’t up there with work you dirty bastard. What’s his name? 

[AdamD]

On 08/12/2022 at 04:21, DalyanPete said:

Cooked tomato skins don't belong on any plate, dirty bastard things that get stuck in you teeth.

There was no way I was removing skins on about 15 baby tomatoes that cooked down to nothing!

[Dave D]

8 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Up in The Lakes for work. This effort is courtesy of The Newby Bridge Hotel. An additional slice of bacon and a grilled tomato were on offer but I declined.

 

7/10

 

 

Looks pretty good- although the egg reminds of one of my used condoms from my glorious days of conquest 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Looks pretty good- although the egg reminds of one of my used condoms from my glorious days of conquest 

 

Did you used to leave a bollock in them? 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I've gone off smoked bacon with age, prefer unsmoked now.

[Stouffer]

9 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Up in The Lakes for work. This effort is courtesy of The Newby Bridge Hotel. An additional slice of bacon and a grilled tomato were on offer but I declined.

 

7/10

 

 

Mrs S' used to pass there on her way to work, reckons it looks like a nice spot.

 

The Swan which is nearby is pretty decent too.

[Bjornebye]

26 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I've gone off smoked bacon with age, prefer unsmoked now.

 

Most paedophiles are over 50. 

[Guest]

On 21/11/2022 at 10:08, Bjornebye said:

What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast? Mouldy bread, dirty poached eggs, rotting tomatoes and square sausages that are both burnt and undercooked at the same time. All chucked onto a paper plate with a nail file and a pitch fork. All served up with the background of a Ford car key.

 

Great stuff.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast? Mouldy bread, dirty poached eggs, rotting tomatoes and square sausages that are both burnt and undercooked at the same time. All chucked onto a paper plate with a nail file and a pitch fork.

 

Great stuff.

 

Thats pepper on the poached eggs you fucking winnit. 

[TheHowieLama]

At least the elephant looks edible.

[Bjornebye]

20 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

At least the elephant looks edible.

 

At least I fucking cooked my food. The bread and butter on my plate is more cooked than most of Strontz effort. 

 

[TheHowieLama]

Vegetables do not need to be cooked pal.

[Bjornebye]

Raw bollocks.