My house has been bugged and i'm being stalked

[Nunavut Patrick]

You need to lose your phone, clothes and shoes and then find Gene Hackman immediately, it's the only way to be sure.

 

Joking aside though, this happened to me when I was about 23. Eventually I discovered what had caused it to happen. You know what it was?

 

A purple microdot.

 

Better a purple microdot than a purple aki.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Jesus wept, what have I missed?!

[Uncle_Meat]

It can't be the Freemasons as they use Bentleys.

 

Honda eh? Using a cheapy car for their stalking makes me think it has to be RoboJews. I would suggest sellotaping some bacon to your tinfoil hat.

[Jennings]

Taxi?

[Jennings]

So in summary...someone broke in to his house. It was a professional job. They left no clue how they got in or out. Yet they left a hidden camera where it could be found. They drive around in an eye catching fashion and spell 'boundaries' incorrectly.

 

I refuse to get involved in any espionage until the introduction of a foxy and attractive foreign spy. She must have a suggestive name such as Fanny Batteraplenty or Norma Snockers.

[Cath]

I think he may be my old landlord from Bootle. Some fellas got into his house and didn't take anything. The only reason he knew they'd been is cos they carelessly left their MI5 business card on the floor. He was into underwater marine espionage and spent all night on one of those short wave ham amateur radio sets. He said he wasn't scared though cos he'd been in the co-operative movement as a young 'un and was used to surveillance.

[moxter]

Put the camera on ebay.

[Tyler Durden]

About 2 weeks ago I found a hidden camera in my room.You don't relise how scary this is for me,I went out for a walk as well and a black Honda was follwing me this car has been following me for 3 days now.

 

Why is this happening to me?

 

As well as this whenever I sign into hotmail I keep getting messages like "I have no boundarys"

 

I'm really fucking shitting one what the fuck do I do?

 

 

 

[andymc]

this thread has brightened up my day, absolutley hilarious, now all we need is a thread about someone having their dog nicked.

[Red Phoenix]

 

 

 

So he's off somewhere doing kung fu downloads? I might have to neg him.

 

I bet he's back tonight and this'll just carry on and get crazier. It might be that guy who was....hahaha, the guy who was after Kev Seed's woman, it was Kev Seed in the Honda out for revenge!

 

Did that guy get banned? I bet it's him if so.

 

More evidence :

 

Edited July 7, 2009 by Red Phoenix

[Guest Ulysses Everett McGill]

The power of dreams, eh?

[Guido]

[AVEEZ]

Please help me could one of you not come round and give me a lift

 

I will..... post your address and phone number on here and I'll give you a ring for directions!

[Karl_b]

JNP will offer words of wisdom on this subject, he's been there, he got bummed.

[The Golden Eel]

This joke t-shirt backfired then?

 

 

Witness Relocation Program T-shirt from Zazzle.co.uk

 

It's a pity axe-wielding gimp-suit-wearing maniacs don't have a sense of ironic humour...

[Scott_M]

Just because your paranoid, don't mean they're not after you.

[Tom R]

Oh man, I've dished out hellarep on this thread.

 

Fucking amazing.

[Tom R]

At least the guy is sensible.

 

I mean, if I found surveillance equipment in my home, was certain that my home was being staked out, and my PC had been hacked, the very first thing I would do is register with a fanzine website forum and ask for help.

 

It's just textbook.

 

In fact, I'm gonna ring my old mum and tell her if she ever discovers intruders in the house then this is what she should do.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Simon needs to top this.

[briefs]

The GF is good for advice on most things.

 

You want a good recipe, you get on the GF.

You're male and you want to know which Sky Sports presenter's bum you should approach if offered the choice, you get on the GF.

You want band recommendations, you get on the GF.

You want advice about an upcoming date, you get on the GF.

 

.... however, if you seriously think you're being stalked/bugged/about to be kidnapped (?), when is writing about it on an internet forum the best option.

 

Have you considered calling Frost? or the FBI? Or even a psychiatrist?

 

Red Eagle, there are professional people out there who can help you. Reach out, man. Reach out.

[RedEagle]

Holy fucking shit just had the worst day of my life,I got the bus to college he followed the bus however he was not there when I stepped out the house in the morning.

 

When I got to college he sat outside in the honda,I couldn't see what he looked like.Also half way through a lecture I received a phone call...It was just breathing down the phone.

 

Due to me being scared shitless I got a cab home and guess what he followed it.

 

I had to sprint into my house and close the curtains, i checked there before and he's not there.

 

I'm so fucking scared

[Anny Road]

 

Man up you big girls blouse. Front whoever it is and stop hiding like a big tart.

If it was Jason Bourne you would be already dead.

Oh and negged.

[Woo]

This is definitely not real.

[Stu Monty]

I demand that you change your name. Not just because it has red in it (therefore a 93.2% likelyhood of terrible posting) but because someone called Red Eagle would not cower behind the curtains. They'd demolish their stalker before breakfast.

[RedEagle]

Fuck it,i'll get some people round