Schoolyard Fights

[Dr Nowt]

Yeah, a lot of that sounds familiar Rapey - I reckon you're right. It could have been worse if it's had to be closed down! The thing about the pig's head is excellently gruesome. The stuff about the two brothers just haunting.

 

I remember seeing a little lad from the lowest year being run over on the road outside coming back from lunch, by someone doing well over the speed limit. The impact, the aftermath and his stricken reaction stayed with me for some time, even though he ultimately survived. As we walked back into school though kids who'd also been there were laughing and joking about it, demonstrably unfazed saying some awful stuff, while I just felt seasick and couldn't say a word.

 

In keeping news story about a council gritter getting attacked on the road in question last winter:

 

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10182113.Outrage_as_15_thugs_attack_gritter_driver/?ref=rc

[Sugar Ape]

Yeah, a lot of that sounds familiar Rapey - I reckon you're right. It could have been worse if it's had to be closed down! The thing about the pig's head is excellently gruesome. The stuff about the two brothers just haunting.

 

 

I remember that happening, think I was only about 14, one of them stabbed the other one in the leg not meaning to kill him but he hit an artery unfortunately and he bled out before an ambulance could arrive.

 

The school just looked grim as well.

 

 

[Dr Nowt]

I remember that happening, think I was only about 14, one of them stabbed the other one in the leg not meaning to kill him but he hit an artery unfortunately and he bled out before an ambulance could arrive.

 

The school just looked grim as well.

 

 

School version of The Shining!

[stringvest]

Fucking hell.

[Harry Squatter]

Looks like some industrial estate unit out of an episode of the Sweeney

[Remmie]

Maybe bumps differs in the home counties, we just kind of grabbed the limbs and swung them up and down, not kicked the shit out of them! Also, we called it bundle instead of pile on or piley on.

[Trumo]

Looking back, it's a bit strange how our school never seemed to get into any aggro with another secondary school that was just 5 minutes up the road. In all my time there, I can't recall anything ever happening. Perhaps the fact that they started and finished 30 minutes earlier than us might have been a factor in minimising any tension. Perhaps another factor lies in the mild-mannered nature of 2 of their most famous alumni - Gary Lineker and Emile Heskey. Mind you, they did also have Alastair Campbell once.

[General Dryness]

My folks were hard arse about going to school. No matter how unwell, we just had to go, tough shit. The one exception was birthdays, from latter middle school through all of secondary, due to the bumps - I got them real bad at 10/11 and booted a lass in the chops when she tried to pinch and then stamp on my cock and balls while I was being twatted on the floor, kicked and the like - and "postying".

 

Anyone familiar with that little gem?

 

You didn't ever announce your birthday at secondary school, that's for sure. The lad I had Textiles-gate with was one of many to get done up like a kipper on his. He was run straight at a tree with his legs held open by a load of right bastards. His fly actually burst during the punishment and he just lay prone and broken, face down, when they all ran off laughing. Hideous stuff.

 

That was called a Banana Tree at my school. And it didn't have to be your birthday for you to get it.

[Dr Nowt]

My old school has been caught in a 419 scam to the tune of a Million quid, making the nationals today apparently.

 

"Local taxpayers have reacted with shock at the crime.  One wrote on an Internet message board: "If the teaching staff are as thick as school finance chiefs it's no wonder they posted the worst GCSE results in the country in 2012."

[KopOut]

Brilliant Schoolyard fight. Be ruthless.

 

 

http://armorgames.com/play/2267/warfare-1917

[stringvest]

When I was at De La Salle we had a mega bust up with Mary Help Of Christians.  They wiped the floor with us.  

[VladimirIlyich]

When you were at De La Salle the playground was used for Chariot Races.

[Malarkey]

When I was in school, there was a rumour flying around that some absolute tank of a girl gave a lad out of our year a blow job and he pissed in her mouth.

 

Not a fight, but still worthy of a mention.

[VladimirIlyich]

When I was in school, there was a rumour flying around that some absolute tank of a girl gave a lad out of our year a blow job and he pissed in her mouth.

 

Not a fight, but still worthy of a mention.

When you get older thats just as good.

[Bjornebye]

When I was at De La Salle we had a mega bust up with Mary Help Of Christians.  They wiped the floor with us.  

 

I bet them turning up on horseback was the last fucking thing you expected 

 

[Boss]

There was a fight in our school involving two lad's, one of them was called Simon and the other one was some strange lad that had tried to kill himself about 3 months previous. I think it was over a girl, he took loads of paracetamol and ended up in hospital, after an overdose. His parents rang the school to let them know, and the school being the absolute cunts they are, decided to inform the entire year in assembly, thus destroying the guy's dignity forever.

 

Simon on the other hand spent his entire primary school education being avoided by everyone because they made up this fake disease that he had, which was just his full name with the word 'disease' on the end of it. This morphed into 'the mange' and everyone was terrified to go near him because they'd catch it from him by touch. No-one else could give you it, only Simon and those infected by Simon. Those infected were treated as social lepers for the rest of the day, but they'd be 'mange' free come the morning, whereas Simon was the harbinger, he was the only one that carried the 'mange' 24/7.

 

The fight itself broke out in the common room, i don't know what over, it seemed to explode out of nothing. Simon started a frenzy of limp open palm slaps, landing nothing, then strange guy unloaded with a barrel of mistimed swings. A crowd quickly gathered boxing them into a circle, Simon tried to run, but the circle pushed him back, it was like Blood Sport, they had to fight until one of them falls. Strange guy gets in another succession of mistimed swings before grabbing a handful of Simon's hair, he also wants out, NO, the circle pushes him back in. These two went at it flat out for about 5 minutes before the head of year came in and finally broke it up. It was the worst fight i've ever seen including every girl fight i've ever witnessed, hair pulling, limp wristed swings whilst running away. Simon the declared victor was being ushered out by the teacher when someone shouted "Oscar De La Simon' to an outburst of laughter. Well that was it, he was known as Oscar De La Simon until he left school.

[Dr Nowt]

Brilliant. The bit about the circle gave me flashbacks.

 

I've both been a member of that circle and stood inside it, and the difference in your mood between the two is the sort of thing that just equals being at school, and what the the whole thing was about.

 

Institutionalised and barely contained cuntishness.

[Dr Nowt]

And Stig, before you ask if I ended up in the circle for wearing flares, I went to school in the 80's and 90's, so to work my regulation amount of decades back I had to cycle in on a penny farthing wearing a bowler hat.

[Boss]

Brilliant. The bit about the circle gave me flashbacks.

 

I've both been a member of that circle and stood inside it, and the difference in your mood between the two is the sort of thing that just equals being at school, and what the the whole thing was about.

 

Institutionalised and barely contained cuntishness.

 

The circle gets smaller and smaller as well, as people clamber to get a better view. So you've got to stave off a rabid opponent whilst this Temple of Doom style human machination is ominously closing in on you... shit scary if your in the middle of it, yet highly amusing looking in.

[Bjornebye]

There was a fight in our school involving two lad's, one of them was called Simon and the other one was some strange lad that had tried to kill himself about 3 months previous. I think it was over a girl, he took loads of paracetamol and ended up in hospital, after an overdose. His parents rang the school to let them know, and the school being the absolute cunts they are, decided to inform the entire year in assembly, thus destroying the guy's dignity forever.

 

Simon on the other hand spent his entire primary school education being avoided by everyone because they made up this fake disease that he had, which was just his full name with the word 'disease' on the end of it. This morphed into 'the mange' and everyone was terrified to go near him because they'd catch it from him by touch. No-one else could give you it, only Simon and those infected by Simon. Those infected were treated as social lepers for the rest of the day, but they'd be 'mange' free come the morning, whereas Simon was the harbinger, he was the only one that carried the 'mange' 24/7.

 

The fight itself broke out in the common room, i don't know what over, it seemed to explode out of nothing. Simon started a frenzy of limp open palm slaps, landing nothing, then strange guy unloaded with a barrel of mistimed swings. A crowd quickly gathered boxing them into a circle, Simon tried to run, but the circle pushed him back, it was like Blood Sport, they had to fight until one of them falls. Strange guy gets in another succession of mistimed swings before grabbing a handful of Simon's hair, he also wants out, NO, the circle pushes him back in. These two went at it flat out for about 5 minutes before the head of year came in and finally broke it up. It was the worst fight i've ever seen including every girl fight i've ever witnessed, hair pulling, limp wristed swings whilst running away. Simon the declared victor was being ushered out by the teacher when someone shouted "Oscar De La Simon' to an outburst of laughter. Well that was it, he was known as Oscar De La Simon until he left school.

 

 

Happened with a few geeks in our school as well but turned out differently. 

 

A lad called John Broughton and a lad called James something. They were at each others throats in French which was the last lesson. James was the less geeky of the two and was basically picking on John who half way through the lesson had enough and told Jsmes he is going to get him after school if he carries on. Queue us other lads in the class shit stirring like the witches from Macbeth for the next half an hour getting them both as wound up as we could. 

 

Anyway, the buses used to turn up at dead on half 3 and fuck off 5 minutes later so if you missed one you were fucked for another 20 minutes so I thought i'd have a quick look, fully expecting a faggoty pushing match, and then get off and catch the bus. 

 

What happened left us all fucking speechless. The pair of them went steaming into each other, full on punching fuck ourt of each other , no grabbing or headlocks, just all out twatting each other, headbutts the lot. It was brutal , this went on for about a minute (decent length school fight) until a teacher shouted out of an upstairs window (One of the lads is adamant that he looked up and saw the teacher watching the fight and he only shouted when he saw he had been clocked) . they stopped and as james went to pick up his bag, the other lad volleyed him right in the face . Mad thing was, James fell forward, face-first into the floor. the sound was horrible and sure enough, everyone fucked off. It was one of the best fights i'd seen in our school from two of the most unlikely lads you would ever expect it from. 

 

I made my bus as well. Just. 

[Sugar Ape]

When I was in school, there was a rumour flying around that some absolute tank of a girl gave a lad out of our year a blow job and he pissed in her mouth.

 

Not a fight, but still worthy of a mention.

We had a girl called joystick for obvious reasons and another one who was meant to take her knickers off and wrap her legs around a lamppost then slide up and down it.

 

The weirdest rumour though, that I've possibly ever heard in my life, was a girl about 3 years older than me who was alleged to have stuck cornflakes up her clout.

 

We'd all shout ' cornflake!! ' at her when she walked past and she'd go mad and run after you. Dirty bitch.

[Bjornebye]

We had a girl called joystick for obvious reasons and another one who was meant to take her knickers off and wrap her legs around a lamppost then slide up and down it.

 

The weirdest rumour though, that I've possibly ever heard in my life, was a girl about 3 years older than me who was alleged to have stuck cornflakes up her clout.

 

We'd all shout ' cornflake!! ' at her when she walked past and she'd go mad and run after you. Dirty bitch.

 

I never got that. You shout names at someone, they react and run after you. If they were actually capable of doing anything about it you wouldn't shout the name in the first place. yet we all still run. granted, laughing our heads off. 

[Malarkey]

[Lee909]

Thought I was going to end up having some 6 tonne unit take a swing at me the other day.

I was in town and somebody pointed out some horrendous shit in the window at the same time I've seen it and said "Fucking state of that", not seeing said unit. She didn't liok too pleased and not even sure she believed me. To be fair had I seen her first with skin tight clothes and masses of blue make up I wouldn't have been wrong.

 

 

 

[Dr Nowt]

The circle gets smaller and smaller as well, as people clamber to get a better view. So you've got to stave off a rabid opponent whilst this Temple of Doom style human machination is ominously closing in on you... shit scary if your in the middle of it, yet highly amusing looking in.

Exactly, the circle would mercilessly hoy both lads into each other time and again.