Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 09/12/2021 at 10:25, stringvest said:

Has anyone ever seen a singer or band perform in an unlikely venue?

 

Not a band, but...

 

I saw Mark Thomas at the Playhouse years ago and a fire alarm went off. We were all evacuated to Williamson Square, so he just got onto the bandstand they had there at the time and carried on with the gig.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Bonnie Tyler came on at half time at the old Upton Park and sang “holding out for a hero”when West Ham were 2.0 down to us about 15 years ago. I think she would concede it was not her best performance in front of, to be fair to her, a pretty tough and unforgiving crowd. Unintentionally hilarious. 

Steriophonics and Atomic Kitten at RL matches I used to get dragged to by a mate from Wigan.  Stereophonics. Sorry, my SimonLFCGreen took over for a second there.

[TheHowieLama]

On 09/12/2021 at 05:25, stringvest said:

Has anyone ever seen a singer or band perform in an unlikely venue?

 

When I was a kid we had season tickets many years for the old San Jose Earthquakes and Tower of Power played at halftime more than once if I remember correctly.

[TheBitch]

11 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Anyone been barred from a pub?

 

I got barred from a local by us because I was eating a pizza in there at the end of the night. Some scruffy little barmaid came over kicking off telling me and a mate we couldn’t eat in there, she told us she was going to get the manager. Anyway we scoffed the pizza down us and lashed the box out of the window. 
When she came back over with the manager we acted all innocent and said we were gonna drink up and go. 

The scruffy little bastard was fuming and asking what we’d done with the pizza and was looking all round the table for evidence, crumbs, tomato sauce, the incriminating box, anyway she found the box outside and held it up to the window with great glee, I’ll never forget that smirk she had on her face as she was holding it up at the window, I guess I then called her all the names under the sun for being a jobsworth and got a ban. I kept asking if I could go back in and kept getting told no. 
 

Eventually after about 6 months I was allowed back in, got pleasantly drunk that night and went to get some chips from the kebab shop down the road. 
I walked back through the pub to get my mates with my chips in hand and had 2 barmaids screaming at me for having food in the pub so I opened my chips and threw a single solitary chip which bounced right off the little jobsworths head. 
 

Banned again. 
 

Had to wait until it was under new management to get back in. 
 

My mates were less than impressed with me because it was the best boozer in town at the time. 

[Remmie]

11 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

I was staying at a cheap hotel (Holiday Inn maybe) the road and same day that Tupac got killed. That's it, really. 

I see what you are saying, you did the deed and managed to pin it on the east vs west coast beef to this day.

 

Was he a pro-beaner?

[Captain Willard]

32 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I see what you are saying, you did the deed and managed to pin it on the east vs west coast beef to this day.

 

Was he a pro-beaner?

Fully deserved if he was.

[Remmie]

Has anyone ever explored homosexuality? I believe I have only seen 2 people on here mention they were gay and another that they weren't heterosexual. Seems a small percentage

[AngryOfTuebrook]

52 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Has anyone ever explored homosexuality? I believe I have only seen 2 people on here mention they were gay and another that they weren't heterosexual. Seems a small percentage

I've explored a lot of lesbianism on the internet.

[TheHowieLama]

9 hours ago, Remmie said:

Has anyone ever explored homosexuality? I believe I have only seen 2 people on here mention they were gay and another that they weren't heterosexual. Seems a small percentage

Pony Princess used to call himself the fag enabler didn't he?

[Remmie]

28 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Pony Princess used to call himself the fag enabler didn't he?

The phrase I recall was 'milky licker' 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

14 hours ago, TheBitch said:

I got barred from a local by us because I was eating a pizza in there at the end of the night. Some scruffy little barmaid came over kicking off telling me and a mate we couldn’t eat in there, she told us she was going to get the manager. Anyway we scoffed the pizza down us and lashed the box out of the window. 
When she came back over with the manager we acted all innocent and said we were gonna drink up and go. 

The scruffy little bastard was fuming and asking what we’d done with the pizza and was looking all round the table for evidence, crumbs, tomato sauce, the incriminating box, anyway she found the box outside and held it up to the window with great glee, I’ll never forget that smirk she had on her face as she was holding it up at the window, I guess I then called her all the names under the sun for being a jobsworth and got a ban. I kept asking if I could go back in and kept getting told no. 
 

Eventually after about 6 months I was allowed back in, got pleasantly drunk that night and went to get some chips from the kebab shop down the road. 
I walked back through the pub to get my mates with my chips in hand and had 2 barmaids screaming at me for having food in the pub so I opened my chips and threw a single solitary chip which bounced right off the little jobsworths head. 
 

Banned again. 
 

Had to wait until it was under new management to get back in. 
 

My mates were less than impressed with me because it was the best boozer in town at the time. 

The one forumite I thought would never be responsible for such shenanigans. For shame.

[VladimirIlyich]

21 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Steriophonics and Atomic Kitten at RL matches I used to get dragged to by a mate from Wigan.  Stereophonics. Sorry, my SimonLFCGreen took over for a second there.

I'm sure Atomic Kitten played at half time at Anfield in the 90s? All I remember were Kerry Katona's massive tits trying to escape under a white t shirt. Their performance was as bad as most Liverpool teams at the time.

[El Rojo]

15 hours ago, TheBitch said:

I got barred from a local by us because I was eating a pizza in there at the end of the night. Some scruffy little barmaid came over kicking off telling me and a mate we couldn’t eat in there, she told us she was going to get the manager. Anyway we scoffed the pizza down us and lashed the box out of the window. 
When she came back over with the manager we acted all innocent and said we were gonna drink up and go. 

The scruffy little bastard was fuming and asking what we’d done with the pizza and was looking all round the table for evidence, crumbs, tomato sauce, the incriminating box, anyway she found the box outside and held it up to the window with great glee, I’ll never forget that smirk she had on her face as she was holding it up at the window, I guess I then called her all the names under the sun for being a jobsworth and got a ban. I kept asking if I could go back in and kept getting told no. 
 

Eventually after about 6 months I was allowed back in, got pleasantly drunk that night and went to get some chips from the kebab shop down the road. 
I walked back through the pub to get my mates with my chips in hand and had 2 barmaids screaming at me for having food in the pub so I opened my chips and threw a single solitary chip which bounced right off the little jobsworths head. 
 

Banned again. 
 

Had to wait until it was under new management to get back in. 
 

My mates were less than impressed with me because it was the best boozer in town at the time. 

Definite six episode Netflix true crime documentary in this post. 

[Stouffer]

5 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'm sure Atomic Kitten played at half time at Anfield in the 90s? All I remember were Kerry Katona's massive tits trying to escape under a white t shirt. Their performance was as bad as most Liverpool teams at the time.

Sheff Wed maybe, I was at that game. Think it was around Christmas time.

[Carvalho Diablo]

1 hour ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'm sure Atomic Kitten played at half time at Anfield in the 90s? All I remember were Kerry Katona's massive tits trying to escape under a white t shirt. Their performance was as bad as most Liverpool teams at the time.

Yup, they did. I was there, can't remember anything of the game but Thunder Pussy were terrible.

[TheBitch]

9 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

The one forumite I thought would never be responsible for such shenanigans. For shame.

I’m not proud of my actions, apart from the single chip shot from range onto the bonce. 
 

That was a shot for the ages. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

11 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'm sure Atomic Kitten played at half time at Anfield in the 90s? All I remember were Kerry Katona's massive tits trying to escape under a white t shirt. Their performance was as bad as most Liverpool teams at the time.

Yes, that was one for the ages!

[Red_or_Dead]

On 10/12/2021 at 19:45, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I got me and my brother barred from a pub in Preston Brook ages ago. We'd already had a few scoops before turning up at this really nice canalside place. Our Mike bumped into an old mate he'd not seen for years, who said he was about to host the pub quiz, but he'd catch up with us afterwards. Fair enough, me and Mike decided to enter the quiz.

 

I should stress that this was before things like Twitter and TLW, so opportunities for needlessly calling strangers stupid cunts were quite limited.

 

We did the quiz and at the end - by which time I was bollocksed - we swapped papers to mark each other's answers. I did this in a manner I presumably thought was witty, charming and colourful: instead of a simple X next to the (many) incorrect answers, I was scribbling stuff like "hahaha nobheads" and "are you fucking thick?" Then we handed the sheets in.

 

Before our Mike's old mate announced that we had won, he went all solemn and serious, telling the pub "in the ten years I've been running this quiz, I have never - NEVER - seen anything as disgraceful as what has happened tonight". When they realised it was me and (guilty by association) my brother who had done it, the manager told us to sup up, fuck off and never come back. 

 

Our Mike made them give us our prize money before we left.

 

His mate never did get in touch.

Reminds me of the worst ever pub quiz team name courtesy of @Mendoza.

 

December 2003.

 

Team name:  Deck the bath with brains of Holly.

 

No sanctions at all, it was Leigh after all.

 

 

[TheBitch]

Has anyone ever bought a reality TV stars farts?

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

3 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Has anyone ever bought a reality TV stars farts?

 

 

No need. I get Mrs HL's for free. The fucking duvet was hovering 3ft above the bed last night.

 

[Furmedge]

 

On 26/11/2021 at 17:29, Bruce Spanner said:

Anyone ever blagged a job?

 

On 26/11/2021 at 20:26, Furmedge said:

In the middle of doing it now.  £15k pay rise to boot.  Watch this space.

 

Been invited to interview next week.  Anyone good at presentations?

[Furmedge]

On 11/12/2021 at 22:02, VladimirIlyich said:

I'm sure Atomic Kitten played at half time at Anfield in the 90s? All I remember were Kerry Katona's massive tits trying to escape under a white t shirt. Their performance was as bad as most Liverpool teams at the time.

Katona was being cheered on by the crowd every time she jumped to the chorus.  Was the best performance of the day if I remember correctly.

[tokyojoe]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

No need. I get Mrs HL's for free. The fucking duvet was hovering 3ft above the bed last night.

 

I get the same pleasure from Her Indoors. Bloody lethal they are.

[Evelyn Tentions]

1 hour ago, TheBitch said:

Has anyone ever bought a reality TV stars farts?

 

 

Strange that, she looks the type who thinks their shit doesn't stink.

[Carvalho Diablo]

8 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Has anyone ever bought a reality TV stars farts?

 

 

Just out of interest, how much?

 

Asking for a friend.