The Garth Crooks Wisdom Thread

[Elite]

Dunno about Robbo's crossing but Garth drains the blood out of me.

[G Richards]

I love Garth Crooks. What’s not to like about an oddball with a turn of phrase? I look at him and wonder if the impairment is some sort of special needs or class A situation as mentioned above. But then again, perhaps he’s just zany, in the best British sense, and while other countries will put people like that on the sidelines, we put them on the Telly.

 

You need a bit of that.

[sir roger]

He doesn't seem to bear a grudge against us & occasionally goes way overboard with his appreciation of our team /players which makes him unusual amongst tv pundits. He also hates Mourinho & lays into him regularly so he's alright with me is Garth.

[TheHowieLama]

 I look at him and wonder if the impairment is some sort of special needs or class A situation 

You need a bit of that.

 

We made one President

[Harry Squatter]

He's more entertaining than Shearer, Murphy and Jermaine Jenas. He's like a weird mate you bring out so everyone can buzz off

[Babb'sBurstNad]

He's referring to the sight of Robbo's CROSSES causing vampires fright. CROSS. As in CRUCIFIX. You useless, humourless bastards. How dare you mock such comedic genius.

 

Sometimes you can write a team of the week joke too well. Should've scuffed it.

[manwiththestick]

He is an idiot but a harmless one, and one that probably thinks he's super smart and informative.

[stringvest]

Garth drunk on Dunk,  

 

 

Dunk and disorderly

[Dr Nowt]

Section's remark that he always speaks like he's telling a ghost story is one of the funniest, most apt observations I've ever heard on Crooks.

 

Given what he spews out when knowingly being recorded for national media, imagine the throwaway shoulder-chewing mentalisms he dispenses in everyday life. 

 

If ever someone was made to be on one of those Celebrity Big Brother set-ups.  

[magicrat]

Fair play to the BBC not sacking the madcap.  Best pundit since Icke. 

[Harry Squatter]

He's off on one about Gareth Southgate not taking g a black coach to the World Cup because of the racism problem in Russia. He says it is a "dereliction of duty".

[magicrat]

He's off on one about Gareth Southgate not taking g a black coach to the World Cup because of the racism problem in Russia. He says it is a "dereliction of duty".

 

Oh dear.  He's treading on thin ice playing the racism card,  People like him because he's eccentric and wacky certainly not as a crusader for equal opportunities, 

[Stickman]

Picks both Smalling and Young in his team of the week despite the fact City could have been five up at half time.

According to Garth even though Smalling was at fault for the first goal he produced the performance of a lifetime after it.

And his thoughts on Young even though he could have broken Aguero's leg...."Yes it was a pen but just because Atkinson didn't see it is not Ashley's fault .

 

Not sure why he didn't just put the whole Utd back four in his team of the week....Fuck it he should have just put them all in

[Creator Supreme]

Fucking hell his latest team of the week comments are shocking.

 

As you're all well aware I don't rate Klopp, but the amount of times Nookie has a go at him is unbelievable even by my standards!

[Strontium]

"I've gone on record as saying I don't think Salomon Rondon is good enough for Premier League football and that's probably why West Brom are staring at relegation.

 

That said, I can't fault his effort and that is why I have chosen Rondon instead of Alexandre Lacazette, who scored twice for Arsenal on Sunday."

 

Amazing.

[Trumo]

There speaks a man who's put a bottle of Fairy liquid to his ear and squeezed.

[G Richards]

When he mentioned great managers in tribute to Wenger he didn’t mention Paisley. He reeled off Stein, Clough, Shankly and Ferguson.

[Anny Road]

He is a fucking idiot.

 

I have always maintained that if Wenger managed Tottenham, they would have built a statue of him by now - and frankly, I can't think of a bigger or better compliment.

[Mikhail]

Funny how the moment I read Klopp's comment I knew this idiot was gonna add one of our players to his team of the week so he can take a swing at Klopp. Dude is becoming predictable.

[Creator Supreme]

When he mentioned great managers in tribute to Wenger he didn’t mention Paisley. He reeled off Stein, Clough, Shankly and Ferguson.

Yep noticed that too!

[Trumo]

From the BBC website:

 

Liverpool could have been 3-0 up before Mohamed Salah even had his golden chance.

 

I think he might have been watching Gardener's World instead. His comments certainly bear no correlation to the game I've just watched.

[Redder Lurtz]

"I can't believe Everton's fans at the moment. Everton were on the floor when Sam Allardyce took over and he's saved them. He's steadied the ship, kept them up and the fans won't give him any credit.

I think some Everton fans are reacting to what is happening across the road at Liverpool, they're seeing what Liverpool are doing, and not concentrating on their own team."

 

Really Garth, you think Evertonians are more concerned with Liverpool than their own team? Really? Don't know if you've read any news lately Garth lad, but someone's invented something called a 'wheel'.

[Strontium]

Still, got to admire Crooksy for having the balls to say it, unlike most shithouse journalists.

[Trumo]

 

"I can't believe Everton's fans at the moment. Everton were on the floor when Sam Allardyce took over and he's saved them. He's steadied the ship, kept them up and the fans won't give him any credit.

I think some Everton fans are reacting to what is happening across the road at Liverpool, they're seeing what Liverpool are doing, and not concentrating on their own team."

 

Really Garth, you think Evertonians are more concerned with Liverpool than their own team? Really? Don't know if you've read any news lately Garth lad, but someone's invented something called a 'wheel'.

 

 

And then he comes out with that on the same afternoon. Shine on, you crazy diamond!

[KMD7]

What Sd said