little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Chairman Meow]

Nosey cunts.  Had someone reading my paper over my shoulder today on the tram travelling in to work, I ended up moving seat it was pissing me off so much.  Get into work and the twat I've already mentioned who spends more time looking at my screen than his is at it again.

 

"What's that you're reading"

 

"Err a private, personal e-mail"

 

"No need to be like that"

 

Yes there is, there's every fucking need.  Seriously, everybody please just fuck off out of my shit please.  Complete and utter lack of manners.

 

Edit: Fuck me, he's just done it again.  Gets up to put his coat on to go out, stands behind me having a good old gawp at my screen for ten seconds under the auspices of zipping his jacket up.  What the fuck is wrong with these people?

 

He didn't see that picture of my cock did he?

[RoboRiise]

Are you able to get a photo of him and mock up

a screensaver of his face as a target, or with a red sighting dot on the temple?

 

Sadly not, can't load any custom content onto my work PC.  Might have to resort to more traditional methods like having a shit in his drawer.

 

 

He didn't see that picture of my cock did he?

 

Yeah that's probably why he keeps having a peek.  He was probably just pretending to go out, he'll be in the bogs now fapping himself blind and trying to hack my account on his phone.

[Dr Nowt]

Sadly not, can't load any custom content onto my work PC. Might have to resort to more traditional

methods like having a shit in his drawer.

Pity. The reading a paper over your shoulder one you mentioned before, that is one of my ultimate pet hates to the point I can feel my face twisting at it.

 

It's daft as well, as it makes no difference to what I'm reading in essence, they're not going to wear the page out looking, and yet it's one of the most nagging senses of irritation there is.

 

I've had full internal dialogue about it before, telling myself I'm being silly and it shouldn't matter, and still ended up snapping it shut, asking them not to (brother or girlfriend only as far as I recall) or moving seats as you did.

 

We're a fucked-up species.

[lifetime fan]

Pity. The reading a paper over your shoulder one you mentioned before, that is one of my ultimate pet hates to the point I can feel my face twisting at it.

 

It's daft as well, as it makes no difference to what I'm reading in essence, they're not going to wear the page out looking, and yet it's one of the most nagging senses of irritation there is.

 

I've had full internal dialogue about it before, telling myself I'm being silly and it shouldn't matter, and still ended up snapping it shut, asking them not to (brother or girlfriend only as far as I recall) or moving seats as you did.

 

We're a fucked-up species.

 

I've lost count the number of times my ol fella has elbowed me in the stomach for doing it.

[RoboRiise]

It's daft as well, as it makes no difference to what I'm reading in essence, they're not going to wear the page out looking, and yet it's one of the most nagging senses of irritation there is.

 

It's like a splinter in my mind when I notice someone doing it.  Few weeks back I actually jumped off the tram at one stop and grabbed a Metro to give to someone who was doing it but the selfish twat got off at the same stop before I could go into full flounce - with hindsight I should have slung it at him as he walked off.

 

If I was watching hardcore porn on a tablet or something I could understand it but there are Metro boxes at every stop on the line (apart from the one I get on at, typically enough) so if you want something to read, grab one.  Or buy a paper.  Or a book.

 

 

I've lost count the number of times my ol fella has elbowed me in the stomach for doing it.

 

That rep is for your dad.  Get him a pint.

[lifetime fan]

It's like a splinter in my mind when I notice someone doing it. Few weeks back I actually jumped off the tram at one stop and grabbed a Metro to give to someone who was doing it but the selfish twat got off at the same stop before I could go into full flounce - with hindsight I should have slung it at him as he walked off.

 

If I was watching hardcore porn on a tablet or something I could understand it but there are Metro boxes at every stop on the line (apart from the one I get on at, typically enough) so if you want something to read, grab one. Or buy a paper. Or a book.

 

 

 

That rep is for your dad. Get him a pint.

I should add its an affliction I've been cured of.

[Rico1304]

I've just been to a management meeting for our estate, I knew it was going to be to hard work, but fuck me some people are thick. The poor lad from the management company was very good, I'd have smacked someone. One daft cunt demanded, DEMANDED, that the surplus from last years accounts be repaid or he'd sue...£163 between 60 properties. It's not often I'm the voice of reason in a group but I surprised myself.

[Dr Nowt]

I've just been to a management meeting for our estate, I knew it was going to be to hard work, but fuck me some people are thick. The poor lad from the management company was very good, I'd have smacked someone. One daft cunt demanded, DEMANDED, that the surplus from last years accounts be repaid or he'd sue...£163 between 60 properties. It's not often I'm the voice of reason in a group but I surprised myself.

 

I feel your pain mate.  I go to ours every year and they're trying to get me to be on the board of directors of our little company.  No fear.

 

A room full of people being about as provincial as it's possible to be and dragging something that could take 10 minutes out to an hour and a half.

[Rico1304]

I feel your pain mate.  I go to ours every year and they're trying to get me to be on the board of directors of our little company.  No fear.

 

A room full of people being about as provincial as it's possible to be and dragging something that could take 10 minutes out to an hour and a half.

The management company charge £3k a year to handle everything, not unreasonable in my view. The mongs were demanding an EGM to take over and do it themselves, I asked the bloke to list the basic tasks they do, the legal implications of becoming a director, liabilities if they fuck up etc. all so they can save £10'a year on the contract to mow the lawn. I hope the point landed.

[Dr Nowt]

The management company charge £3k a year to handle everything, not unreasonable in my view. The mongs were demanding an EGM to take over and do it themselves, I asked the bloke to list the basic tasks they do, the legal implications of becoming a director, liabilities if they fuck up etc. all so they can save £10'a year on the contract to mow the lawn. I hope the point landed.

 

Same here and I have the same attitude. 

[Hooch]

Laminate flooring in the household.

 

I get that it's easier to maintain/ clean etc. and it looks pretty, but I always love a nice carpet in the living room.

It's just warmer comfier and nicer to walk on. 

[lifetime fan]

Paying 30p to have a shit and no bog roll.

[Duff Man]

Cunts who don't listen when you're training them, then ask what to do as soon they start doing the job.

[Dr Nowt]

Paying 30p to have a shit and no bog roll.

 

Good old London.

[General Dryness]

Cunts who don't listen when you're training them, then ask what to do as soon they start doing the job.

 

Me : "Are you going to take some notes?"

Cunt : "No, I store it all up here." *taps head*

Me : "Right o then."

 

Later that day.

 

Cunt : "You know that process you were showing me earlier.."

Me : "Fuck off and die you diseased seal rectum".

[bouncebrigade]

People who ask a colleague with his headset on:

 

"Are you on a call?"

 

What does it look like knobjockey? I'm not wearing it to keep my ears warm.

[General Dryness]

People who ask a colleague with his headset on:

 

"Are you on a call?"

 

What does it look like knobjockey? I'm not wearing it to keep my ears warm.

 

You might have been pretending you were Madonna live on stage.

[Mook]

People who walk around the office talking on their mobile phone.

 

Fucking self important cunts.

 

[Bjornebye]

Jealous fucking women.

 

I've just interviewed an attractive blonde woman who was really good in the interview and far better than 3 other fella's I've interviewed this week. Our HR lads (another less attractive blonde) asked how it went after she had left and I just went "best one yet" to which she responded:

 

"Why am I not surprised" then looked at another woman and said "see I told you he would like her" really fucking loud as I walked through the office. Fucking jealous little cunt.

[Hooch]

Be honest though la, did her being fit maybe just slightly strengthen her suitability for the job?

 

All friends here.

[Hooch]

Work colleagues who make shitty brews.

 

I know everyone has a different preference but it's the lack of effort.

You need to stir that shit properly, don't over milk it, and make sure you get a full teaspoon worth of coffee/ sugar for each cup, motherfucker.

[ZonkoVille77]

Bjornebye, on 22 Jan 2015 - 10:16 AM, said:

 

Jealous fucking women.

 

I've just interviewed an attractive blonde woman who was really good in the interview and far better than 3 other fella's I've interviewed this week. Our HR lads (another less attractive blonde) asked how it went after she had left and I just went "best one yet" to which she responded:

 

"Why am I not surprised" then looked at another woman and said "see I told you he would like her" really fucking loud as I walked through the office. Fucking jealous little cunt.

They have you sussed big time!

[bouncebrigade]

Jealous fucking women.

 

I've just interviewed an attractive blonde woman who was really good in the interview and far better than 3 other fella's I've interviewed this week. Our HR lads (another less attractive blonde) asked how it went after she had left and I just went "best one yet" to which she responded:

 

"Why am I not surprised" then looked at another woman and said "see I told you he would like her" really fucking loud as I walked through the office. Fucking jealous little cunt.

 

If she dropped her kecks and loafed on the table during the interview, she'd still be the best candidate.

[Rico1304]

Jealous fucking women.

 

I've just interviewed an attractive blonde woman who was really good in the interview and far better than 3 other fella's I've interviewed this week. Our HR lads (another less attractive blonde) asked how it went after she had left and I just went "best one yet" to which she responded:

 

"Why am I not surprised" then looked at another woman and said "see I told you he would like her" really fucking loud as I walked through the office. Fucking jealous little cunt.

Was the blonde doing up her blouse on the way out of the 'interview'?

[Bjornebye]

She would have been 5 years ago mate

 

Looks aside she was the best contender but they certainly helped. I work in marine/commercial shipping publications so a manipulating sexy blonde with half a brain is a stand-out contender all day long. Men love being sold too by sexy women. hence why strip-clubs are so lucrative.

 

 

Women fucking hate a better looking woman though don't they.