little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Hand Shandy]

A film you've downloaded cutting off ten minutes before the end.

[RedKnight]

Illegally downloaded? Pay peanuts, get monkeys, mate.

[Hand Shandy]

I paid fuck all, so yeah you're right I can't really complain.

 

Doesn't mean it isn't annoying though, especially as it was a really good film.

 

[Total Longo]

Was it a "grumble flick"?  

 

I can see why that would be particularly irritating if the climax was missing.

[Stu Monty]

Was it a "grumble flick"?  

 

I can see why that would be particularly irritating if the climax was missing.

 

How fucking long are you stringing this wank out?

 

Check out motherfucking Sting over here.

[General Dryness]

Work colleagues who make shitty brews.

 

I know everyone has a different preference but it's the lack of effort.

You need to stir that shit properly, don't over milk it, and make sure you get a full teaspoon worth of coffee/ sugar for each cup, motherfucker.

 

This. How do these cunts cope in the real world? Making a decent brew is a basic life skill.

[Trumo]

This. How do these cunts cope in the real world? Making a decent brew is a basic life skill.

 

In all these cases of clueless and incompetent work knobheads, the one thing in common is that somebody somewhere thought they were ideal for the job. It's the judgement of those fuckers that also needs to be called into question.

[General Dryness]

In all these cases of clueless and incompetent work knobheads, the one thing in common is that somebody somewhere thought they were ideal for the job. It's the judgement of those fuckers that also needs to be called into question.

 

Behind every fuckup theres another one mate, thats for sure.

[Pony Princess]

When you leave the office, said goodnight to everyone and then realize you forgot something and have to run back in quick, cue the various

 

"Good morning!"

 

*looking at watch* "That was quick!"

 

Hohoho.  Fucking hell.

[Trumo]

Where the fuck have you been?

[stringvest]

yeah, that one as well

[Liverpool lad]

Shit workplace banter is soul destroying

[Mook]

My boss asks me every day where I'm taking him for lunch, I tried "up the arse." for a few weeks but I got some funny looks, this was about 3 years ago and he still asks me every single day. It fucking kills me.

[stringvest]

but he obviously likes it Mook.

[Mook]

It reminds me of when my great grandpa went senile.

[Dr Nowt]

"Wet the bed?" when you're in early is one that always made me laugh uproariously never.

[Mook]

"Is it cold outside?" in the middle of the Winter is another one I love when you come back from lunch.

 

'No, it's practically sub tropical you fucking arse curtain.'.

[General Dryness]

"Is it cold outside?" in the middle of the summer is another one I love when you come back from lunch.

 

'Yes, we're in Edinburgh you fucking arse curtain.'.

 

Fixed.

[Liverpool lad]

Shit banter kills me.

 

'Want a drink?'

'Yes, Carling'

 

 

Dying on the inside here

[lifetime fan]

What's the date?

 

The 22nd...all day.

 

You won't fucking see out the day you say that again cunt.

[Adebisi]

Blokes who sigh how loud and mutter stuff under their breath. 

Haven't seen such a display since sixth form. All because he got chewed out for not getting in touch with a client after a week (unreachable by phone apparently) when he was asked why he didn't attempt to email this client he began to squirm and so was called out on his laziness, though I don't think laziness is his main problem, his main problem is the fact he's 27 and can't interact with people at all and the thought of speaking to someone on the phone is almost as terrifying as the thought of speaking to a woman. Almost. 

[Remmie]

Work colleagues who make shitty brews.

 

I know everyone has a different preference but it's the lack of effort.

You need to stir that shit properly, don't over milk it, and make sure you get a full teaspoon worth of coffee/ sugar for each cup, motherfucker.

The work colleagues are onto something though. Pretend to be willing to make brews in order to receive future brews made by co-working mugs (no pun intended) but making them badly so no one wants their shit attempts at coffee and tea.

[Bob]

What's the date?

 

The 22nd...all day.

 

You won't fucking see out the day you say that again cunt.

I don't know how to work my watch, so when I needed to change back and hour or whichever it was, I ended up moving it half a day forward.

 

So the date always changes after lunch for me. So the cunt is wrong anyway

[Guest davelfc]

The work colleagues are onto something though. Pretend to be willing to make brews in order to receive future brews made by co-working mugs (no pun intended) but making them badly so no one wants their shit attempts at coffee and tea.

 

Learned that years ago. on detachment at Greenham Common and this thick Sgt walks in and points to me "you, make me a cup of tea, strong"

 

So I wandered over to the water boiler and loose tea. More than half fills a grubby mug with the loose tea and fills it with hot water, adding a spot of milk. Gave it a good stir and took it to him. After a good swig he spits out a mouthful of the tea laves and shouts "You, you never make me a cup of tea again" 

Was a quiet month. 

[Section_31]

When people say 'can I get' rather than 'can I have' when tbey order a coffee.

 

Makes me want to don a bowler hat and whack them over the head with my gentleman's cain.