Depression

[markcd]

THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST LIVING MISERABLY, or CALM, is a registered charity, which exists to prevent male suicide in the UK.   In 2014, male suicide accounts for 76% of all suicides and is the single biggest cause of death in men under 45 in the UK. 

 

https://www.thecalmzone.net

[Nunavut Patrick]

Was a lot of that down to the weather/darkness do you reckon NP?

 

I read a thing a while back that said the closer you live to the equator the lower the suicide rates, which is amazing in the sense that a lot of those countries are poorer - it shows you how much of it is down to chemicals in the brain.

 

The darkness did have some effect but I could recognize that and would go over to mates house or keep occupied otherways. in Greenland they did a study on suicide and those who had attempted but survived and they found that many tried taking their lives in spring and summer when it is light out and they thought this went against conventional wisdom. It was a study with youth and they said that they felt despair because they should be out living life in the day but felt hopeless and had nothing to do.

 

I have seen people succomb to the darkness, they just for lack of a better term go a bit mad. I have seen colleagues break down at the airport if the plane is weather delayed, had at anout half dozen techers just wuit on the spot or even worse leave town in a terrible way.

 

My issues were situational...breakdown of marriage. The worst part was there was a rational voice with a rational solution and a logical path to take; but when your emotional side takes over, and hers as well, it was a fucking disaster. So you would go through manipulation, coercion, guilt, ...pretty much any negative emotion and then bursts of passion, love, kindness. It was a pendulum and I inew it was going to swing to far.

 

It's people that will make you happy but you have to be happy to be around happy people because happy people don't want to be around those who are not; and by happy I think I mean content. And you can be a happy person helping someone through a tough time, that makes many good people happy.

 

Not sure if any of that makes sense.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I agree with both those posts , but can you imagine how difficult it could be to explain to s complete strange, even if the person is a professional ,of what might be the cause never mind group therapy , it must be very hard. Yes to the man up stuff as we do tend to sweep things under the carpet and also it's good to talk , some may be lucky enough to have family and friends for support but others have nobody unfortunately and that must be a dreadful predicament.

I found it way easier to talk to strangers.

[Clem H Fandango]

I found it way easier to talk to strangers.

 

welcome to the gf.

[easytoslip]

I found it way easier to talk to strangers.

Only if they have a bag sweets though.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Only if they have a bag sweets though.

This is the GF.

 

It's more likely to be a bag of spunk (from a diswasher).

[easytoslip]

This is the GF.

 

It's more likely to be a bag of spunk (from a diswasher).

I imagine so, something soiled.

[Captain Turdseye]

A few weeks before I relapsed and got diagnosed with MS I seriously thought I was suffering from depression. Didn't put anything on here because there were clearly people going through worse than what I was feeling. I was down about everything when I had nothing to be down about. I've got an ace little family and I fall more in love with them all every single day. I don't see my close mates and extended family as much as I'd like to but that never bothered me too much before. I went to the GP and she advised me to go for a jog. Seriously. Obviously now I know it was a sign of an imminent relapse.

 

I've come to terms with the MS and I'm at ease with the potential physical implications down the line but for the past couple of weeks the feeling of worthlessness is coming back. The fatigue bouts are getting more frequent and I've read a lot saying its directly related to stressing over trivial stuff. A few times now I've told my little girl no when she's asked me to play with her because I just don't feel like it. That's then followed by immense guilt because I'm normally a boss dad and I'll play games with her for 12 hours if that's what she wants. I just can't get in the right frame of mind to be playing snakes and ladders or having a teddy bears picnic. Even that guilt sometimes isn't enough to make me snap out of it.

 

Now I'm glum as fuck and in can't be arsed mode and I'm fearful that it's a warning of a relapse. There's something wrong with my hearing and my balance is a bit off today. I've rang in sick for the last 3 days and I'm counting down the minutes til the kids go to bed so I can get absolutely rat arsed to take the edge off.

 

Not after advice or sympathy, just having a vent. My bird is totally understanding and I know that but I still feel like I'm being gay by wanting to go to bed and feel sorry for myself. The emotional side of the MS is really something I was unprepared for. I could take being a spaz but if it's gonna change me fundamentally as a person due to neurological shit out of my control then that's fucking shit.

[Bjornebye]

Christ mate drinking wont help. Hope you get your head sorted soon , im going through a shit time right now (nothing comparable with your situation to course) and im drinking most days just so I can sleep. Find myself getting drunk easily , not sleeping , no appetite or motivation to get things done. Its hard to snap out of it no matter what anyone says. Ive taken some time off work and tried to sleep all day but I cant switch off. My boss called me earlier and suggested I see a doctor. I really should but I don't like feeling so exposed. Ive always shunned the term depression and thought it easy to change my state of mind but I'm really struggling.

[Captain Turdseye]

Christ mate drinking wont help. Hope you get your head sorted soon , im going through a shit time right now (nothing comparable with your situation to course) and im drinking most days just so I can sleep. Find myself getting drunk easily , not sleeping , no appetite or motivation to get things done. Its hard to snap out of it no matter what anyone says. Ive taken some time off work and tried to sleep all day but I cant switch off. My boss called me earlier and suggested I see a doctor. I really should but I don't like feeling so exposed. Ive always shunned the term depression and thought it easy to change my state of mind but I'm really struggling.

Totally agree with that last bit. Always thought I was too laid back and easy going to succumb to feeling negative about shit.

[Bjornebye]

Just taken some online test

 

 

Fuck

[Captain Turdseye]

Where's the shithouse dog AIDS result?

[Bjornebye]

They send it in the post

[Rico1304]

You are brave fuckers for even talking about it, even if it is to a load of faceless internet cunts. Most blokes don't and that's why loads kill themselves.

 

Hats off to each and every one of you, I admire you all. Just talk to someone.

[Bjornebye]

You don't have a face?

[Rico1304]

You don't have a face?

I do, but it's fucking minging.

[Anubis]

Stay off the online tests and consult professionals. I swear the online tests probably cause more anxiety than they confirm

[Jenson]

Christ mate drinking wont help. Hope you get your head sorted soon , im going through a shit time right now (nothing comparable with your situation to course) and im drinking most days just so I can sleep. Find myself getting drunk easily , not sleeping , no appetite or motivation to get things done. Its hard to snap out of it no matter what anyone says. Ive taken some time off work and tried to sleep all day but I cant switch off. My boss called me earlier and suggested I see a doctor. I really should but I don't like feeling so exposed. Ive always shunned the term depression and thought it easy to change my state of mind but I'm really struggling.

Can I ask if this is to do with your recent break up?

If it is, I have just been through a similar situation. My wife left me in November, taking the kids with her, leaving me on my own in our house. I really did go through about 2 months of hell, lost a stone and a half through sheer stress. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and couldn't see any future. Luckily I had family and mates to lean on, who allowed me to bore them stupid about how bad I was feeling and how was I going to cope? This I think was the key to me being able to move forward in little steps. I ranted about my wife to my poor mum for hours raving about how much I hated her, I didn't mean it of course but it allowed me to release the negative emotions in me. It's still complete shit being without my wife but it gets easier to cope with the downswings.

[Bjornebye]

Yes mate it is related to that. Sorry to hear about you and the wife. I can cope with most things but this is a battle im losing

[moof]

It gets better, lads. In the meantime a bit of yoga or meditation can't hurt. It's important to feel that connection to yourself.

[Tony Moanero]

Just taken some online testFuck

Link, please?

[Bjornebye]

http://www.depressedtest.com

[Section_31]

A few weeks before I relapsed and got diagnosed with MS I seriously thought I was suffering from depression. Didn't put anything on here because there were clearly people going through worse than what I was feeling. I was down about everything when I had nothing to be down about. I've got an ace little family and I fall more in love with them all every single day. I don't see my close mates and extended family as much as I'd like to but that never bothered me too much before. I went to the GP and she advised me to go for a jog. Seriously. Obviously now I know it was a sign of an imminent relapse.

 

I've come to terms with the MS and I'm at ease with the potential physical implications down the line but for the past couple of weeks the feeling of worthlessness is coming back. The fatigue bouts are getting more frequent and I've read a lot saying its directly related to stressing over trivial stuff. A few times now I've told my little girl no when she's asked me to play with her because I just don't feel like it. That's then followed by immense guilt because I'm normally a boss dad and I'll play games with her for 12 hours if that's what she wants. I just can't get in the right frame of mind to be playing snakes and ladders or having a teddy bears picnic. Even that guilt sometimes isn't enough to make me snap out of it.

 

Now I'm glum as fuck and in can't be arsed mode and I'm fearful that it's a warning of a relapse. There's something wrong with my hearing and my balance is a bit off today. I've rang in sick for the last 3 days and I'm counting down the minutes til the kids go to bed so I can get absolutely rat arsed to take the edge off.

 

Not after advice or sympathy, just having a vent. My bird is totally understanding and I know that but I still feel like I'm being gay by wanting to go to bed and feel sorry for myself. The emotional side of the MS is really something I was unprepared for. I could take being a spaz but if it's gonna change me fundamentally as a person due to neurological shit out of my control then that's fucking shit.

Hombre.

 

The first thing to realise here is that you've done nothing wrong. You can't help being ill and you don't owe anyone anything, if you're not up to playing with your daughter it's just one of those things.

 

Guilt is a big cause of negative feelings and so often it's unfounded. I made myself ill worrying too much about other people and not myself. Here's the point to remember - there's nothing wrong with putting yourself first, absolutely nothing. You don't need an excuse to do it, sometimes it's something you just have to do.

 

I imagine the feelings you're going through are 100% normal, if you weren't having those feelings I'd be more worried as it's something that might come out further down the line.

 

I think it'd be really worthwhile seeing if there's a support group out there mate or a charity. Literally millions of people out there have been through what you're going through and can help you through it.

[Jenson]

Yes mate it is related to that. Sorry to hear about you and the wife. I can cope with most things but this is a battle im losing

As Moof just said, it does get better. Take each day as it comes, I know it's a cliche but it's true. Keep busy, when I'm not working I'm either at the gym, playing football or with the kids. I try not to spend too much time on my own with nothing to do. I look back now to how I was in the run up to Christmas, I have no idea how I got through it.

You just have to hang in there mate.

[KMD7]

Sorry to hear this CT. This is the place to vent if you need to though. Feel for you mate.

 

Same for you Stig. Might be no harm to ease up on the boozing though. It won't help in the long run.