Danny Dyer

[Anubis]

Oh dear. The Business is like you and your mates have watched a Guy Ritchie film while getting pissed, then someone has the bright idea to get the camcorder out so you can all make one of your own.

[Elite]

As far as shit cockney gangster films go, The Business is a belter.

[Anubis]

I'll give Dyer this though, he's spot on about Mark Kermode.

[Harry Squatter]

I was in Aldershot about 3 years ago and went into burger king. Stood in front of me was danny dyer saying to the woman on the counter 'yeah, all fackin ave a fackin bk flamer wiv a fackin diet coke' i was pissing myself laughing at him and he gave me daggers. I had 2 lfc badges on my jacket and i heard him mutter 'fackin livvapool' to his mate as he walked out. He looked like he'd been on the beak for 3 days and hadnt gone to bed. He had eyes like a panda and all his hair was sticking up on the top of his head.

[lifetime fan]

He's a card.

[skend04]

I'll give Dyer this though, he's spot on about Mark Kermode.

 

Kermode's 'impression' of Dyer is funny and annoying and shit all in equal measure. Plus agree or not he's the most entertaing film critic out there and he hates U2. Boss.

[VladimirIlyich]

He reminds me of one of those big mouthed cowards who mouth off and then hide behind a big hard mate.

 

That big hard mate always seems to be this geezer

 

[Harry Squatter]

you cannot beat the bit in britains deadliest men where he walks past the old dears at the pier head and says 'awight gewls'. Then turns to the camera and says 'a capple of sawts'

[Bobby Hundreds]

Funny when he was with Steven French and people were beeping their horn at the car they were in, French was like I don't even know these people but they know me, I thought or maybe the fact your sat next to minor celebrity Danny dyer is why people are beeping.

[Guest ShoePiss]

No idea who he is, is there something of his worth watching or should I be happy not knowing who te fuck Danny Dyer is?

[lifetime fan]

No idea who he is, is there something of his worth watching or should I be happy not knowing who te fuck Danny Dyer is?

 

 

Remain blissfully happy in your ignorance.

 

He's a cunt.

[Chippy]

I watched the UFO thing last night. For an actor, the least he could've done is acted like he was fuckin interested in the subject for the duration the show.

 

Had to laugh at them all 'meditating' in the final part. They were probably pissing themselves at Dyer all along.

[VladimirIlyich]

I watched him in one of his 'Hardest Men' episodes where he met a fella who was ex-army and a bit of a martial arts expert and still loved the old yomping and having nights out on the moors like he did in the service.

 

Dyer goes on a night trip with him intending to camp out until the morning but cos he needed a shit but had to do it in some cling film and couldnt do it,he called a taxi and fucked off back to his hotel while the fella kept on sleeping out overnight.

It was quite funny actually. Hes difficult to hate because hes so unintentionally funny.

[WaltonRed]

I think he's boss.

 

People who are so shit but think their boss are hard to hate for me

[The Guest]

If you haven't seen the deadliest men episode with Stephen French please take the time to watch it. It's all on youtube and is literally some of the funniest television ever broadcast. Ever. Ignore the fact that it's Danny Dyer and you have one of the most comical characters in history (French) walking around Liverpool chatting absolute nonsense for about an hour.

[Guest ShoePiss]

If you haven't seen the deadliest men episode with Stephen French please take the time to watch it. It's all on youtube and is literally some of the funniest television ever broadcast. Ever. Ignore the fact that it's Danny Dyer and you have one of the most comical characters in history (French) walking around Liverpool chatting absolute nonsense for about an hour.

 

This sounded promising so I looked on youtube but can only find 2 of the 5 parts that episode is split into, going to have to download the thing.

 

It's hard to beat unintentionally funny telly.

[The Guest]

Seriously it's absolutely brilliant. There are more catchphrases from it than you can possibly remember. The "real live taxation" he performs on Danny Dyer is one of the highlights. He whispers something in Danny Dyer's ear which Dyer says is so bad it could not possibly be repeated on television.

 

I don't want to ruin any of it because it's literally brilliant but he basically spends the whole programme trying to explain how hard he is while also trying to look highly intelligent. He does this by trying to use as many long words as possible in completely unnecessary circumstances.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Seriously it's absolutely brilliant. There are more catchphrases from it than you can possibly remember. The "real live taxation" he performs on Danny Dyer is one of the highlights. He whispers something in Danny Dyer's ear which Dyer says is so bad it could not possibly be repeated on television.

 

I don't want to ruin any of it because it's literally brilliant but he basically spends the whole programme trying to explain how hard he is while also trying to look highly intelligent. He does this by trying to use as many long words as possible in completely unnecessary circumstances.

 

Fuck me it's silverlining!

[Cushty92]

Can't believe people take him so seriously to the point of calling him a cunt. Find him and his cocknyisms hilarious to watch.

[Anubis]

Seriously it's absolutely brilliant. There are more catchphrases from it than you can possibly remember. The "real live taxation" he performs on Danny Dyer is one of the highlights. He whispers something in Danny Dyer's ear which Dyer says is so bad it could not possibly be repeated on television.

 

I don't want to ruin any of it because it's literally brilliant but he basically spends the whole programme trying to explain how hard he is while also trying to look highly intelligent. He does this by trying to use as many long words as possible in completely unnecessary circumstances.

 

Is that the one where French describes hiding under leaves in Sefton Park lake to avoid some 'hit men'?

[Chippy]

If you haven't seen the deadliest men episode with Stephen French please take the time to watch it. It's all on youtube and is literally some of the funniest television ever broadcast. Ever. Ignore the fact that it's Danny Dyer and you have one of the most comical characters in history (French) walking around Liverpool chatting absolute nonsense for about an hour.

 

I just watched this. I'd never heard of this Stephen French character til i read your post. Some of the stuff he was saying i felt like actually cringing. Dyer surely must have realised he was having the piss taken out of him?? & that was the 1st ever episode. He must have thought to himself 'For fack sake, what the fack have i got myself in for here?'.

[Redder Lurtz]

Interviewing Danny Dyer whilst under the influence of LSD:

 

Interviewing Danny Dyer... on Acid! | Shorties | VICE

[Mendoza]

Some comedy gold to be had on his Twitter feed...

 

Danny Dyer ‏@MrDDyer

Fucks your nut right up learning dialogue. Besion....aide....si te plait. Especially this French bollocks. Need a snout.

 

Danny Dyer ‏@MrDDyer

I can't believe it. I've just seen a fly. It was a slow fat cunt but never the less it's fucking October. Fucking wound me up no end.

 

Danny Dyer ‏@MrDDyer

UFO's. They exist I'm telling ya whether or not there coming down and whacking there fingers up our arses is another story. #wanna believe

[Bjornebye]

noel gallagher tells a funny story of danny dyer tryin to jump into a taxi with him and 2 from kasabian and them going to kick him out and dyer starts begging not to be kicked out while theres camaras there hahaha

 

serious tosser.

[General Dryness]

Interviewing Danny Dyer whilst under the influence of LSD:

 

Interviewing Danny Dyer... on Acid! | Shorties | VICE

 

I don't care what anyone says, drugs are fucking ace. I genuinely miss them.