Gay rally.

[G Richards]

Sorry if this is too simplistic a question, but...

 

When marrying a straight couple do you ask them if they have had or will be having sex before marriage? And if they were to asnwer yes would you refuse to marry them?

 

Indeed, is this standard practice within the Church?

 

I wouldn't refuse to marry someone on the above basis, no. I think Jesus was onto something when he said "He who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

My personal practice is to have a six week course of pre-marital counselling with any couple I marry. I don't like the idea of just performing a wedding ceremony and not having any feel for the people. That's a bit cold and anonymous to me. Not everyone does it the same way, but that's my practice.

 

During the six week course there are loads of issues that are raised and discussed. Some of the biggies include communication, finances and roles within the marriage. I believe marriage is a beautiful gift, but it can also be bloody hard! I see it as my responsibility to try to help people for the longer haul, not just to provide a ceremony for the wedding day.

[Karl_b]

I wouldn't refuse to marry someone on the above basis, no. I think Jesus was onto something when he said "He who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

My personal practice is to have a six week course of pre-marital counselling with any couple I marry. I don't like the idea of just performing a wedding ceremony and not having any feel for the people. That's a bit cold and anonymous to me. Not everyone does it the same way, but that's my practice.

 

During the six week course there are loads of issues that are raised and discussed. Some of the biggies include communication, finances and roles within the marriage. I believe marriage is a beautiful gift, but it can also be bloody hard! I see it as my responsibility to try to help people for the longer haul, not just to provide a ceremony for the wedding day.

 

Do you find it a problem marrying people that have no church going obligations until they wish to be married.

 

I would never be comfortable getting married in a church as it would always seem false to me. A church is a place of worship where people go to show their faith and I feel like I would be lying to those people, the priest and to whatever god they believe in.

[G Richards]

Do you find it a problem marrying people that have no church going obligations until they wish to be married.

 

There's a latent view that the church is there for 'hatching, matching and dispatching'. I'm trying to serve a church that is there for people in all the circumstances of life.

 

Most of the weddings I have done have been for practicing Christians, though this hasn't particularly been a conscientious decision on my part; it just seems to be the way it has worked out for me so far.

 

Might I say at this point that I'm also in the free evangelical stream of the church. Most people who get married tend to go to the nearest CofE (if they don't already have a church 'home') simply because of the parish system and the higher visibility that the Anglican church has.

[Moo]

I wouldn't refuse to marry someone on the above basis, no. I think Jesus was onto something when he said "He who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

My personal practice is to have a six week course of pre-marital counselling with any couple I marry. I don't like the idea of just performing a wedding ceremony and not having any feel for the people. That's a bit cold and anonymous to me. Not everyone does it the same way, but that's my practice.

 

During the six week course there are loads of issues that are raised and discussed. Some of the biggies include communication, finances and roles within the marriage. I believe marriage is a beautiful gift, but it can also be bloody hard! I see it as my responsibility to try to help people for the longer haul, not just to provide a ceremony for the wedding day.

 

Thanks for replying and giving your point of view, it's appreciated.

 

I feel I may have asked the wrong question though or oversimplified. Or even in fact asked the wrong person as to be fair you seem a very tolerant person irrespective of your beliefs.

 

What basically concerns me is "the Church" applying what the Bible says where and when it suits, it's probably obvious what I was getting actually so I won't explain further except to say...

 

If the Church condones - in general and I know this from experience - sex before marriage, which is a sin in the Bible I believe, then how can it view other sinners with such contempt?

So in relation to this discussion, why does the Church "punish" homosexuals but not other sinners?

 

Surely the answer can only be "prejudice"?

 

Again, apologies if I am oversimpifying matters but I am not a Churchgoer so only have limited knowledge.

I actually would like to be a bit more open to the idea spirituality and the Church, but such contradictions, dangerous contradictions, do not sit right with me.

[Guest bigf00t]

I heard...

 

theres this group which marches with the Gay pride parades which is lobbying for it to be made legal that men can have sex with young boys...

 

Headed by some poet or the other...

 

and the Gays are perfectly happy with this...

[Paul]

There's a latent view that the church is there for 'hatching, matching and dispatching'. I'm trying to serve a church that is there for people in all the circumstances of life.

 

Most of the weddings I have done have been for practicing Christians, though this hasn't particularly been a conscientious decision on my part; it just seems to be the way it has worked out for me so far.

 

Might I say at this point that I'm also in the free evangelical stream of the church. Most people who get married tend to go to the nearest CofE (if they don't already have a church 'home') simply because of the parish system and the higher visibility that the Anglican church has.

 

We got married in a Church by a minister in a non-religious ceremony, as we're both aetheists. The church was the one my mum and dad attend (and where I went as a kid) and the minister was a close family friend who used to be at that church years ago. It made it all seem more personal to have familiar faces and places involved and the church's minister at that time was happy to do it because she wanted to take any opportunity to get people in through the doors.