Coronavirus

[Bjornebye 20,421]

Deserves its own thread and quite frankly I wish everyone the best. x 

[Mudface 2,006]

I'm amazed it wasn't cracked down on a long time ago. It leaves a horrible taste in your mouth and caused me to shit through the eye of a needle after 24 bottles of it.

 

[Sugar Ape 12,314]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Deserves its own thread and quite frankly I wish everyone the best. x 

Are you fucking messing? Not only is it being discussed already in a thread on the GF but look at the mess you’ve caused on the FF! Sort it out. 

[TheHowieLama 9,149]

Wuhan Clan

[Aventus 1,739]

I thought it was a new form of knob-rot that you can only catch off birds from Widnes.

 

Me and my Corona are relieved. 

[Bjornebye 20,421]

7 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Are you fucking messing? Not only is it being discussed already in a thread on the GF but look at the mess you’ve caused on the FF! Sort it out. 

Who gives a fuck what you think 

[Sugar Ape 12,314]

22 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Who gives a fuck what you think 

You. 

[Sugar Ape 12,314]

The Guardian live feed is the place to be for people who want to convince themselves we are all about to perish. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/science/live/2020/jan/23/coronavirus-china-virus-flu-scotland-testing-wuhan-live-news-updates?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

 

I’m actually feeling pretty under the weather today so I think you can safely assume I’ve caught it. I’d like my body to be donated to research to see why men wank into bananas. 

[Moctezuma 744]

15 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

 

I’m actually feeling pretty under the weather today so I think you can safely assume I’ve caught it. I’d like my body to be donated to research to see why men wank into bananas. 

Is wanking into a banana a common occurance for you?

[Moctezuma 744]

Is it correct that there is a lag period of two weeks before symptoms come to the fore? If that's the case, it'll be pretty difficult to control.

[Sugar Ape 12,314]

1 minute ago, Moctezuma said:

Is wanking into a banana a common occurance for you?

Only when I’ve got no Tangerines in. 

[Moctezuma 744]

3 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

Only when I’ve got no Tangerines in. 

Only sensible course of action

[Karl_b 982]

I've been playing the board game Pandemic for years, I'm well prepared for this. You just have to move a scientist here, sacrifice the odd city there. It'll be fine. We're all fine.

[Dougie Do'ins 8,804]

Just what we need. Something to wipe out half the population and give the planet a chance recover.

 

I for one welcome our new virus overlord.

[Pistonbroke 9,772]

This is wank, there'll be nobody left to make cheap goods. 

[davelfc* 2,053]

 

I was reading somewhere that they make vaccinations from the actual virus itself, then inject that in to you so your body can create the cells to defend itself.

 

I'm no doctor but I would highly recommend everyone take at least a bottle of Corona four times a day to ward off this evil plague. To make it more effective get yourself some mercury and add a spoonful to each bottle. *

 

 

 

 

 

*sarcasm alert 

[Pistonbroke 9,772]

You have to laugh at the BBC and there usual trick of lazy journalism.

 

'Have you been affected? Get in touch via.........'

 

If I had been affected I'd be to busy shitting myself and speaking to a Doctor, not the fucking BBC! 

[davelfc* 2,053]

I thought you had to be 'affected' to watch much on the BBC

[General Dryness 8,470]

2 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

You have to laugh at the BBC and there usual trick of lazy journalism.

 

'Have you been affected? Get in touch via.........'

 

If I had been affected I'd be to busy shitting myself and speaking to a Doctor, not the fucking BBC! 

 

[Mudface 2,006]

1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

I've been playing the board game Pandemic for years, I'm well prepared for this. You just have to move a scientist here, sacrifice the odd city there. It'll be fine. We're all fine.

This is dead easy to win, i.e. kill everyone in the world- https://store.steampowered.com/app/246620/Plague_Inc_Evolved/

If the virus has learned anything from it, we're all fucked, especially as it's on sale.

[davelfc* 2,053]

Pah, it's still less lethal than the Tories. 

[Anubis 15,290]

Does it turn people into zombies? If it doesn’t then. I’m bored of it already.

[Elite 6,948]

Symptoms include rhythm of the night.

[Pistonbroke 9,772]

12 minutes ago, Mudface said:

This is dead easy to win, i.e. kill everyone in the world- https://store.steampowered.com/app/246620/Plague_Inc_Evolved/

If the virus has learned anything from it, we're all fucked, especially as it's on sale.

 

That'll explain why we got it for a Xmas present from someone in the UK.

[Pistonbroke 9,772]

We've booked a table at a Chinese on Sunday, wonder if the BBC have any top tips.