Daniel Sturridge-2015

[Section_31]

[Anubis]

Brilliant.

[Kevin D]

Dave U: Mr.Sturridge was the closest thing I ever had to a friend.But he got injured me.And now I spend my days drinking cheap Scotch and watching Comedy Central.

 

Aws: Oh, dear God.

 

Dave U- It's not that bad.I mean I never miss Pardon My Zinger.

 

Hades: Sturridge cost me my groundskeeping job at the school. And I'm too superstitious to take the one at the cemetery.

 

Anubis Because of him, I lost my room my things and my buddy's collection of old sunbathing magazines.

 

Sugar Ape: You bastard.

 

Woo:- I lost my bar.

 

Ted:- I lost his bar.

 

Remmie: He robbed the school of music.

 

Rashid - He robbed it of financial security.

 

 Ant- He robbed the school of Tito.

 

 - He can't remember my name! 

 

Tony He's causing us all to yell!

 

Brownie Look what he did to my best friend.

 

Brownie: No, my dog.

 

Stu Monty: Those wheels are squeaking a bit.Perhaps I could sell him a little oil!!!!!!

 

Unrighteous: You twisted old monster! I've decided to protect myself ever since I was attacked in my office by an unidentified assailant.

 

Mac4: Sturridge, your scurvy schemes will earn ye a one-way passage to the boneyard.

 

G Richards : I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel.

 

Momo I'll see that Mr.Sturridge suffers the infernal machinations of hell's grim tyrant.

[ZonkoVille77]

I don't know what any of that means.

[navbasi]

I don't know what any of that means.

I repped it just for effort alone.

[Section_31]

[Hades]

I'll kill that Mr. Sturridge. And wound that Mr. Benteke.

[Section_31]

[Section_31]

[VladimirIlyich]

Anybody replaced the Rodgers self portrait with Sturridge yet?

[Kevin D]

How does one reply to that?

 

The greatest poster in the history of the forum, bar none.

[Preston Red]

He's not playing at the minute because he's on the same HNC Mechanical Engineering course as me. His spare time is being taken up by writing a report on Young's Modulus in polymers. Hamstrings are fine but he breaks his fingers picking up a pen.

[Gym Beglin]

Had a text from a mate at Ginsters.

 

Sturridge has bitten off more than he can chew with a huge architectural project near Crewe and he's got 3 months to get foundations completed on an extension to a Grade 2 listed chapel. He's barely got the surveying work done. Apparently it's carnage down there.

[Crazy Dave]

Bascombe is pretty much openly stating now that the reason Sturridge isn't playing is because the player himself doesn't want to. 

 

"imagine Elvis deciding after Jailhouse Rock that he doesn't want to sing anymore"

[navbasi]

Bascombe is pretty much openly stating now that the reason Sturridge isn't playing is because the player himself doesn't want to. 

 

"imagine Elvis deciding after Jailhouse Rock that he doesn't want to sing anymore"

 

Fucking hell. That's serious shit right there.

[ZonkoVille77]

Bascombe is pretty much openly stating now that the reason Sturridge isn't playing is because the player himself doesn't want to.

 

"imagine Elvis deciding after Jailhouse Rock that he doesn't want to sing anymore"

If that is the case then why hasn't he been fired? The football world is mental.

 

On that note I'm off into my boss now to tell him I don't want to work anymore but still expect my salary each month.

 

Fuck sake.

[Lee909]

Full tweet was

 

Imagine Elvis deciding after ‘Jailhouse Rock’ he was unable to sing. That’s pretty much Daniel Sturridge’s football career at the moment.

 

 

Going to be interesting how it turns out. You loose a asset worth £20+ml just because he cant be arsed.

[Crazy Dave]

We could fire him for breach of contract but then come the summer he'll decide he wants to play again and a rival picks him up for fuck all. 

 

Unsure what the club can do in this scenario, if indeed what Bascombe is implying is true. We have a (when fit) 50m rated asset that we can't get on the pitch.  

[Lee909]

Surely if he decided to play again we could force the team to pay or hammer him the money lole Chelsea did with Mutu

[Section_31]

It's surprising how many footballers don't seem to like football. Add Torres to that list.

[an tha]

He's finished in my view.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/jurgen-klopp-reveals-daniel-sturridge-7271078

[Jairzinho]

“Sturridge is still working. Sometimes it is better, sometimes it is a bit worse because of other issues. That is all. He has done a lot of sessions in the last few weeks but it is always interrupted with a few breaks,” he explained.

 

“He needs consistency in the sessions and that’s what we try to do. His injury history means this is normal. It is not coincidence. Some things are not right if you are injured that often. We have to be really sensitive with all the information we get. That is what we try to do.

 

“We’re trying to find a point from which we can train and build up fitness. He could do a lot of sessions in the last few weeks, but like I said they have always been interrupted with a few different issues where we always have to see and wait on what happens. That is how it is.”

 

And Klopp said: “Everyone in this room knows Daniel much better than myself, I saw him playing, a few times in training but there is no doubt about his quality. That is not the thing.

 

“I am not here to thing about how a player is in the future, we have to work in this moment and together with Daniel on his fitness.

 

“There is no doubt that he is a very, very good player, but at this moment he is not available so we don’t have to talk too much about him. He is not here. He cannot play tomorrow, for sure not against Leicester and I don’t know what happens after Leicester to be honest.”

 

[Jairzinho]

tl;dr version -

 

"He's a fucking cunt that can't be arsed to play"

 

[an tha]

Players play.

 

They don't train instead of playing and use every little niggle whilst doing so as a reason not to play. It just does not add up.

 

This is all a cover story for me, and maybe the reports of his head going are true after all

[Ne Moe Imya]

It definitely sounds as if Klopp has had enough, reading between the lines.

 

I think he's told Sturridge "you'll do 10 days in a row of full training without complaining of any injuries or you're not going to sniff the first team."

 

Which essentially means that we're going to be locked into this cycle until the summer when he'll be sold for 20m or so, half his real value.  Which I think it's safe to say would be a huge disappointment for everyone involved.