What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Remmie]

Just now, Strontium Dog™ said:

An army marches on its stomach. I am sorely tempted...

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/174658101186

You do know this is a form of self-harm right? Do you need a hug? 

[Curly]

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

[DJLJ]

Do you have pictures of it after it was cooked?

[Geoff Woade]

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

Hideous. Those sausages are turgid, the eggs are an atrocity and the bread looks like it was toasted in the microwave.

[YorkshireRed]

Firstly, thanks for reigniting my favourite thread and breathing life into my hungover mind. 
 

The tomatoes look like they’ve already been eaten, puked up on someone’s shoes, scraped off and put back on your plate. 
 

The eggs look ashamed of themselves. So they should. 
 

Those sausages look suspiciously like Richmond’s. Hope you shoved them down the lug holes of whoever dared serve you them. 
 

Nice serving of beans. 
 

It’s not bacon whilst it’s still alive which this looks like it is. 
 

I like a hash brown so I’d have wanted more than one. 
 

Mushrooms and black pudding look like afterthoughts.

 

Toast cut into triangles. Go fuck yourself and all that sail on you. 

[Jairzinho]

19 minutes ago, belarus said:

Toast

[Trumo]

16 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Hideous. Those sausages are turgid, the eggs are an atrocity and the bread looks like it was toasted in the microwave under a light bulb.

.

[Barrington Womble]

26 minutes ago, belarus said:

Tried a new place.

 

The Full Monty - £6.95

2 bacon

2 eggs

2 sausage

2 black pudding 

Beans

Tomatoes

2 Hash browns

Mushrooms

2 Toast

 

Egg was overdone, bacon was underdone, but overall a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

 

7/10

 

Go and fuck yourselves 

Where are you going for a sit down breakfast? 

[Curly]

1 minute ago, Barrington Womble said:

Where are you going for a sit down breakfast? 

My kitchen. I collected it from a cafe.

[Curly]

The last piece of toast was like soggy bread to be honest.

 

I hadn’t finished it by the point I posted. I want to change the score to a 6. Maybe a 5.5. The women serving were miseries as well. 5.5.

[Barrington Womble]

Had a fry up today. The missus has become obsessed with buying food from gusto, most of which I'm not very fussed on. So on a Sunday (gusto delivery day), I'm increasingly becoming to believe breakfast has to be a meal for the day as I'll probably just push the food round my plate later. 

 

I hadn't planned to make a fry up today to be honest, but gusto backed me into a corner. I had some sausages from the butcher, I've nearly always got bacon. By chance I had some lovely blue eggs and I had a few slices of ultser fry in the freezer. I also had some left over home made beans from something I made last night and a pinched a hash brown off my daughter who lives on the fucking things. 

 

 

[Curly]

3 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Had a fry up today. The missus has become obsessed with buying food from gusto, most of which I'm not very fussed on. So on a Sunday (gusto delivery day), I'm increasingly becoming to believe breakfast has to be a meal for the day as I'll probably just push the food round my plate later. 

 

I hadn't planned to make a fry up today to be honest, but gusto backed me into a corner. I had some sausages from the butcher, I've nearly always got bacon. By chance I had some lovely blue eggs and I had a few slices of ultser fry in the freezer. I also had some left over home made beans from something I made last night and a pinched a hash brown off my daughter who lives in the fucking things. 

 

 

Bacon looks boss, as does the Ulster fry.

 

Sausages look half cooked.

 

The beans look like my dog has turded them out after robbing some off my plate last night.

 

Was the egg a double yolker?

[Barrington Womble]

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Bacon looks boss, as does the Ulster fry.

 

Sausages look half cooked.

 

The beans look like my dog has turded them out after robbing some off my plate last night.

 

Was the egg a double yolker?

Sausages were perfectly cooked, I did them on the George foreman. I find them best if you don't fuck about, stick them on and never move till they're cooked. 

 

No the egg wasn't a double yoker, this blue eggs are pretty small. 

[General Dryness]

37 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

Do you have pictures of it before it was eaten?

Fixed.

[TheHowieLama]

38 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

 the bread looks like it was rested on a microwave.

 

[YorkshireRed]

14 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Had a fry up today. The missus has become obsessed with buying food from gusto, most of which I'm not very fussed on. So on a Sunday (gusto delivery day), I'm increasingly becoming to believe breakfast has to be a meal for the day as I'll probably just push the food round my plate later. 

 

I hadn't planned to make a fry up today to be honest, but gusto backed me into a corner. I had some sausages from the butcher, I've nearly always got bacon. By chance I had some lovely blue eggs and I had a few slices of ultser fry in the freezer. I also had some left over home made beans from something I made last night and a pinched a hash brown off my daughter who lives on the fucking things. 

 

 

I’m extremely disappointed in this breakfast, it looks nice.

 

[Geoff Woade]

Just made this, it’s alright actually

[TheHowieLama]

Meat could use more heat.

[YorkshireRed]

7 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Just made this, it’s alright actually

Eggs are the best thing about this breakfast. They look the bees knees. Bacon needs some umph, sausages need umph plus. 
 

The toast is well done and appropriately cut. I do have a concern, however, that the spread is margarine and not butter. If it is you can’t complain if the police crash through your door and cart you off to the slammer. You brought it on yourself. 

[Geoff Woade]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Eggs are the best thing about this breakfast. They look the bees knees. Bacon needs some umph, sausages need umph plus. 
 

The toast is well done and appropriately cut. I do have a concern, however, that the spread is margarine and not butter. If it is you can’t complain if the police crash through your door and cart you off to the slammer. You brought it on yourself. 

It’s cheese on

[YorkshireRed]

3 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

It’s cheese on

In that case, your liberty will be maintained at least until you finish cooking the bacon. 

[Geoff Woade]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

In that case, your liberty will be maintained at least until you finish cooking the bacon. 

To be fair I got my timings off. It was cooked but not brown enough I’ll agree but the eggs were in danger of becoming over cooked so it was a Sophie’s choice scenario.

[TheHowieLama]

You can see the bacon straightening its legs to walk off the plate.

[Mudface]

23 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Just made this, it’s alright actually

Repped as it's hard to get the cat sick just on the toast like that.

[Tony Moanero]

23 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Just made this, it’s alright actually

Serving toast on the same plate as your cooked breakfast is scruff behaviour.