What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Captain Turdseye]

On 07/10/2021 at 11:37, Carvalho Diablo said:

Gonna knock up some breakfast burritos in a bit.

 

Some Uncle Ben's microwaveable egg fried rice, some Bernard Matthews Dinosaur Shapes, lettuce, tomato, grated cheddar, some Cool flavoured Doritos for the crunch, maybe some Doritos salsa and some saracha hot sauce.

 

A couple of those should hit the spot.

I am like a pregnant woman with Cool Doritos at the moment. The amount of them I’m putting away is dangerous. Sainsbury’s are doing the enormous ‘50% more’ sharing bags for £1.25 and I’m going through them at a rate that Fat Barry from Birmingham wouldn’t be able to keep up with. 
 

Relevant to the breakfast thread too. I opened a packet (270g) yesterday at 09:15 and demolished them all in about 20 minutes. 
 

I’m out of control. I’m stopping at Sainsbury’s again in a bit because I’m all out. I’m thinking ahead to the weekend and wondering what’s on at the cinema, purely so I can stop at Tesco on the way and grab another pack. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

They add a lovely bit of crunch and saltiness toa burrito. Just saying.

[Karl_b]

A Premier Inn breakfast but because they were quiet it was al cooked to order, so it was better than I was expecting.

 

There's nothing special here but I didn't pay for it, it was tasty enough and it filled a void.

 

6/10.

[Bjornebye]

Completely ruined with the shape of that toast and b*eans. Rest of it looks lovely Karl, even the glass which looks like it's got the last of your triple brandy in it. If I was to be picky I'd say the sausages look like a couple of the chefs bum tremors which even if they were they would still be the second worst thing on the plate. 

[Karl_b]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Completely ruined with the shape of that toast and b*eans. Rest of it looks lovely Karl, even the glass which looks like it's got the last of your triple brandy in it. If I was to be picky I'd say the sausages look like a couple of the chefs bum tremors which even if they were they would still be the second worst thing on the plate. 

Coming from you I'm taking that as a massive compliment and will have a spring in my step for the rest of the afternoon.

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, TheBitch said:

I’ll start off with one from the canteen in the new office block at work. £3 for 7 items. 

They've beaned the shit out of that, I can only assume the vessel in the picture is not for coffee but for double portion bean haulage? 

[Captain Willard]

12 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

A Premier Inn breakfast but because they were quiet it was al cooked to order, so it was better than I was expecting.

 

There's nothing special here but I didn't pay for it, it was tasty enough and it filled a void.

 

6/10.

Looks very tasty but there is something weird on the top corner of the upper slice of toast. 

[YorkshireRed]

17 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

A Premier Inn breakfast but because they were quiet it was al cooked to order, so it was better than I was expecting.

 

There's nothing special here but I didn't pay for it, it was tasty enough and it filled a void.

 

6/10.

Premier Inn breakfasts are much like their rooms.
 

Nothing special but perfectly reasonable for the price, particularly when beans are added. Not unlike most of the women I’ve had in my life. 
 

6.5/10

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, TheBitch said:

I’ll start off with one from the canteen in the new office block at work. £3 for 7 items. 

Was the tray one of the seven items? If so, it was undoubtedly tastier than that bacon. 

[TheBitch]

2 hours ago, Karl_b said:

A Premier Inn breakfast but because they were quiet it was al cooked to order, so it was better than I was expecting.

 

There's nothing special here but I didn't pay for it, it was tasty enough and it filled a void.

 

6/10.

This is the breakfast I was hoping for in work today. 

[Mudface]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

I’ll start off with one from the canteen in the new office block at work. £3 for 7 items. 

Heartbreaking to see some people's working conditions these days.

[TheHowieLama]

@Karl_b Not bad there fella - except for the fact that it looks like a human hand could fly out of the ocean of beans and grab you by the throat, pretty good.

[TheHowieLama]

@TheBitch

 

[tokyojoe]

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Completely ruined with the shape of that toast and b*eans. Rest of it looks lovely Karl, even the glass which looks like it's got the last of your triple brandy in it. If I was to be picky I'd say the sausages look like a couple of the chefs bum tremors which even if they were they would still be the second worst thing on the plate. 

Completely ruined with fucking beans.

 

My work here has ended.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, TheBitch said:

I’ll start off with one from the canteen in the new office block at work. £3 for 7 items. 

Is the seventh item the plate? 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Is the seventh item the plate? 

If he's eaten that piece of bacon you won't be getting a reply for a good while. 

[Guest]

Beans, egg, double sausage, bacon, hash brown. That's six. Maybe the breakfast was free with the coffee? 

[Barrington Womble]

I had this this morning. Al's cafe on bermondsey street near London bridge. £9 for everything you see there. Badly cooked - I think Al has deep fat fried the sausages, which was a shame because they were actually decent quality. The egg was cooked like a 3 year old does them, no idea why there was only one. The black pudding was under cooked. The tea was fucking awful, about 50% milk. The toast could have done with more cooking. I posted one from a 5 min walk from this place on tower bridge road a few weeks back, that was miles better. I had an absolutely massive hangover, so any fry up would probably have made me feel better, yet I still can't give it more than 4/10 and it probably only ranks that high because 9 quid isn't that expensive for that area. 

 

 

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

Nice someone drove their snowmobile over the front half there.

[Carvalho Diablo]

17 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

I had this this morning. Al's cafe on bermondsey street near London bridge. £9 for everything you see there. Badly cooked - I think Al has deep fat fried the sausages, which was a shame because they were actually decent quality. The egg was cooked like a 3 year old does them, no idea why there was only one. The black pudding was under cooked. The tea was fucking awful, about 50% milk. The toast could have done with more cooking. I posted one from a 5 min walk from this place on tower bridge road a few weeks back, that was miles better. I had an absolutely massive hangover, so any fry up would probably have made me feel better, yet I still can't give it more than 4/10 and it probably only ranks that high because 9 quid isn't that expensive for that area. 

 

 

 

 

A missed opportunity.

[Captain Turdseye]

My missus was out this morning and rang me on the way back asking if I wanted owt. Told her to get me a bacon & egg on toast from a butty van and she came back with that, plus three slices of black pudding which she apparently saw on the menu for a quid. It was not bad. 
 

Then I stopped off on the way home from the school run and bought a huge bag of the blue Doritos, which I’m about to demolish. 

[Curly]

6 hours ago, Karl_b said:

A Premier Inn breakfast but because they were quiet it was al cooked to order, so it was better than I was expecting.

 

There's nothing special here but I didn't pay for it, it was tasty enough and it filled a void.

 

6/10.

That actually looks pretty fucking good. Would never have levelled it as a premier inn job.

 

6/10? Surprised at that

[Curly]

25 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

I had this this morning. Al's cafe on bermondsey street near London bridge. £9 for everything you see there. Badly cooked - I think Al has deep fat fried the sausages, which was a shame because they were actually decent quality. The egg was cooked like a 3 year old does them, no idea why there was only one. The black pudding was under cooked. The tea was fucking awful, about 50% milk. The toast could have done with more cooking. I posted one from a 5 min walk from this place on tower bridge road a few weeks back, that was miles better. I had an absolutely massive hangover, so any fry up would probably have made me feel better, yet I still can't give it more than 4/10 and it probably only ranks that high because 9 quid isn't that expensive for that area. 

 

 

 

 

The egg looks dry and tasteless. The bacon anaemic and bland. The bp looks dry and shite. Somehow the hash browns look moist - greasy and oily moist.

 

Sausages look alright. 
 

How does that add up to the dining experience?

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, belarus said:

That actually looks pretty fucking good. Would never have levelled it as a premier inn job.

 

6/10? Surprised at that

Premier Inn breakfasts are generally sound. Bit like the hotels themselves. Not the greatest but at least you know what you’re getting and it’s always decent enough. 
 

Kids eat free too if an adult has paid a tenner for the brekky. All you can eat, etc. 

[Pidge]

Lenny Henry was onto something