Office Christmas parties

[mattyq]

Are you in Camden, Bruce?

[brucespanner]

Are you in Camden, Bruce?

 

Nah, laying in bed, drinking a Vodka and Apple Juice at the minute awaiting a knock at the door.

 

Will most likely be in Camden later though.

[Red22]

Had mine last night. Took a blow on the chin from some dick at a bus-stop. Told him he punched like a woman and needed to "try harder". The guy was bewildered and didn't know what to do before my mate intervened and ushered me away.

 

Good night otherwise though. A lot of the women you see in work who you think look average looked stunning. Didn't even recognise some of them.

[TheBitch]

Had mine last night. Took a blow on the chin from some dick at a bus-stop. Told him he punched like a woman and needed to "try harder". The guy was bewildered and didn't know what to do before my mate intervened and ushered me away.

 

Good night otherwise though. A lot of the women you see in work who you think look average looked stunning. Didn't even recognise some of them.

 

Slags.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Mine was last night and it was amazing.

 

A few of us went for some drinks at 5 before half of the group went for an Italian meal at 7. We met everyone else at half 8 and hit up a few of the smaller bars until half 11. For some reason we tried to get in a gay bar but were refused entry, despite one of the lads being gay and having loads of birds with us.

 

After that we went casino for an hour where I won £70 and decided to go to a nightclub doing an offer on triple's for the price of doubles. Me and one of the girls decided to strawpedo a pitcher each before getting more drinks.

 

My memory became hazy for a bit after this but I did receive a message off her this morning saying thanks and that she thinks "we need to recreate Leeds. X x x" (previous work do)

 

This girl is the sister of my friend and supervisor...

 

Oh and me and a friend stopped a probable rape after the night had ended.

[Furmedge]

 

Oh and me and a friend stopped a probable rape after the night had ended.

 

Managed to get the cabbie off you this time?

[Anubis]

Managed to get the cabbie off you this time?

 

Repped.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Managed to get the cabbie off you this time?

 

Hahahaha annoyingly, I did get a cabbie's number because I got talking to him and had a good conversation with him and gave him a tip. He gave me his number and said if I'm out give him a ring for a taxi.

[Anubis]

You're a rent boy for cabbies now?

[Joe Le Taxi]

Pfft, I almost pulled my mates sister and stopped a probable rape (and no, it wasn't by going home) and you guys only look at me befriending a cabbie!

[Section_31]

Hahahaha annoyingly, I did get a cabbie's number because I got talking to him and had a good conversation with him and gave him a tip. He gave me his number and said if I'm out give him a ring for a taxi.

 

Oh Lewis, Lewis Lewis Lewis, where do I start with this?

 

You remind me of a lad I know from Widnes who used to get lifts to and from college from Purple Aki back in the day, and it never dawned on him that it was slightly weird.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

 

Oh Lewis' date=' Lewis Lewis Lewis, where do I start with this?

 

You remind me of a lad I know from Widnes who used to get lifts to and from college from Purple Aki back in the day, and it never dawned on him that it was slightly weird.[/quote']

 

It's not classed as weird when you are willing, enjoy it and openly ask for it.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Oh Lewis, Lewis Lewis Lewis, where do I start with this?

 

You remind me of a lad I know from Widnes who used to get lifts to and from college from Purple Aki back in the day, and it never dawned on him that it was slightly weird.

 

I was being nice and tipped him because I was in a good mood after helping a vulnerable young girl.

 

I have no intentions of ringing him or being molested. Again.

[Liverpool lad]

I stopped a sexual assault last night

 

I stayed in

[RJ Fan club]

I stopped a sexual assault last night

 

I stayed in

 

Ooowwwwwwwwww!

[Remmie]

About this time last year I saved a Japanese girl's life in Laos. She thanked me. Twice.

 

Thanks for reminding me Lew.

[VladimirIlyich]

About this time last year I saved a Japanese girl's life in Laos. She thanked me. Twice.

 

Thanks for reminding me Lew.

 

Sucky and Fucky then.

[Remmie]

What was the scenario for probable rape? How did you stop it?

[Joe Le Taxi]

What was the scenario for probable rape? How did you stop it?

 

Me and one of my workmates were talking when we observe this drunken girl surrounded by a load of lads egging her to get off with them all, whilst one of them is holding her up. One of the lads, a black French guy then follows her as she tries to leave and we're both saying how messed up she must be when he recognises her as a girl he went to college with.

 

He pulls her over to keep her away from the French guy who is now hovering around us and she just leans over my mate and kisses me and falls over. She says she is going toilet and again the French guy follows her and as she leaves the toilet she falls over so a bouncer asks her to leave and the French guy tells the bouncer he's her friend and he'll take her home.

 

We can her her shouting "Don't let him take me home" so the two of us follow her out. She's sat on some steps telling him to leave her alone and he's laughing and trying to get her to follow him. We let the bouncers know and they come over with us and tell him to fuck off. She's begging us not to leave her and telling us she wants to fuck us both (shows how smashed she was) and we try and carry her to a taxi but no drivers are willing to take her before she realises she has lost her purse and doesn't know her own address.

 

We sit her down on some steps about 2 minutes away from the club where she immediately tells us again she wants to sleep with us and is begging us to grope her, constantly flashing her tits and putting her head into my crotch.

 

We ring the none emergency services number who say help is on the way so we're trying to keep her concious as she keeps falling back. At this point I've caught her head a few times and each time she's tried to kiss me but I've turned my head.

 

40 mins later she is barely concious and no help has arrived but the French guy has somehow found us. We tell him to go again but he wants to talk to her so my mate tells him to fuck off and he walks away laughing.

 

About 5 minutes later she found her phone in her bra and so we try and ring her sister. The sister isn't picking up and one of the bouncers arrive and he knows both her and the sister. He tells us that he managed to get hold of her sister and that her and her mum are on her way. By this point it is half 4 and the bar closed at 3.

 

She's now shaking loads and freezing so I give her my cardigan (yeah I was wearing a Fred Perry cardigan, and what?) and her mum arrives 10 minutes later and thanks us and takes her home.

 

I'm walking up the road about a minute after and there is a huge police cordon as 2 people had been stabbed. We go to McDonalds, happy we had done our good deed for the day and then fuck off home, happy in the knowledge she didn't get bummed by a big black French guy.

[Cardie]

Why does lewis' life appear to play out like one long epusode of the OC (insert any other glossy american teen try hard programme here).

 

Everyones beautiful, they solve crimes.....scooby doo, i was thinking of scooby doo.

[Joe Le Taxi]

I'm a student, try Skins...

[ZonkoVille77]

Had mine last night. Dying like fuck today.

As someone else pointed out, the normal looking birds in the office actually looked well doable last night. One had her fun bags popping out that just hypnotised me all night. Wouldn't look twice at her normally.

 

Christmas parties are shite though. same aul crap and same aul "funny" stories from the usual fucktards. bah humbag or something..

[RedinSweden]

We just had a Christmas lunch this year. We are having a big do at the start of February instead, as February is, according to the CEO "shit". Have to say I like it. Too much going on at Christmas, especially for all the ones with kids (most of the company), so I welcome the move.

[Pony Princess]

I didn't go to ours but I believe some minge-for-brains call centre tart got roasted in the bogs.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Most of the birds I work with are fit and are either at uni, finished uni or about to start uni.

 

So fit and not stupid. It's paradise.