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Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

Bob

By Bob,
in GF - General Forum

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Elmyn Noos
Elmyn Noos

Sorry to arrive late, Bob. Had I got I got here sooner I could have told you that it seems pretty clear to me that your missus has been shagging some other bloke, probably the dude from work who had t

Tom R
Tom R

Example A:   You’re at a restaurant with the Mrs. She’s being as indecisive and annoying as ever with her menu choice. “oooh, chicken salad or the risotto? Chicken salad or risotto? Hmm” etc. On and

Rico1304
Rico1304

Losing keys has got to be up there.

Elite Grand Master

Elite

Posted
Posted

Was BigBak even real?

 

Don't think I've ever seen him post in any other thread bar bearing his soul in the date thread.

Good point, I think he must have spent all his time trying to find dates, going on dates and posting about both.

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Kevin D Grand Master

Kevin D

Posted
Posted
On 24/07/2014 at 11:21, Tom R said:

 

Example A:

 

You’re at a restaurant with the Mrs. She’s being as indecisive and annoying as ever with her menu choice. “oooh, chicken salad or the risotto? Chicken salad or risotto? Hmm” etc. On and on it goes for up to 20 minutes.

You have, of course, settled on the Steak within 30 seconds. You’re hungry and you’re getting tetchy. You’re on the verge of losing your rag.

The not-smart man(ager) says something like, “oh for God’s sake, will you just decide, I’m starving here”.

She will feel patronised and (quite rightly) a bit stupid that she can’t even pick some fucking food off a menu properly like a real person (a man)

She then gets annoyed (with you, but mostly with herself if we’re being honest – it just manifests with her take it out on you), so you have a small argument. You don’t get to bum her that night as it’s leaves a slightly sour taste at the very start of what could have otherwise been a very pleasant evening.

You will forget it almost instantly, of course, but remember she will hold on to this moment like she would hold on to Herpes; FOREVER.

 

The smart man(ager), however, says something like: “Ooh, risotto eh? Remember when you had that really nice Risotto when we were at [insert a nice memory or lcoation here]…” and then say nothing, turning back to your menu, smiling nicely. Allow the pause to sink in. The power of the pause is a special tool indeed with these simple creatures.

10 seconds later she will say, “yes, I think I will have the risotto” and slam her menu shut with a calm authority and pride. In her mind she will now be telling herself what a strong, decisive, independent woman she is and what a calm and patient, loving partner she has across the table from her, when the reality of course is that she is an easily led, gullable, indecisive, borderline simpleton who you will be bumming senseless within 2 hours from now and you are just a very good manager. 


A hall of fame poster at the peak of his powers. 

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Kevin D Grand Master

Kevin D

Posted
Posted
On 24/07/2014 at 11:21, Tom R said:

 

Example A:

 

You’re at a restaurant with the Mrs. She’s being as indecisive and annoying as ever with her menu choice. “oooh, chicken salad or the risotto? Chicken salad or risotto? Hmm” etc. On and on it goes for up to 20 minutes.

You have, of course, settled on the Steak within 30 seconds. You’re hungry and you’re getting tetchy. You’re on the verge of losing your rag.

The not-smart man(ager) says something like, “oh for God’s sake, will you just decide, I’m starving here”.

She will feel patronised and (quite rightly) a bit stupid that she can’t even pick some fucking food off a menu properly like a real person (a man)

She then gets annoyed (with you, but mostly with herself if we’re being honest – it just manifests with her take it out on you), so you have a small argument. You don’t get to bum her that night as it’s leaves a slightly sour taste at the very start of what could have otherwise been a very pleasant evening.

You will forget it almost instantly, of course, but remember she will hold on to this moment like she would hold on to Herpes; FOREVER.

 

The smart man(ager), however, says something like: “Ooh, risotto eh? Remember when you had that really nice Risotto when we were at [insert a nice memory or lcoation here]…” and then say nothing, turning back to your menu, smiling nicely. Allow the pause to sink in. The power of the pause is a special tool indeed with these simple creatures.

10 seconds later she will say, “yes, I think I will have the risotto” and slam her menu shut with a calm authority and pride. In her mind she will now be telling herself what a strong, decisive, independent woman she is and what a calm and patient, loving partner she has across the table from her, when the reality of course is that she is an easily led, gullable, indecisive, borderline simpleton who you will be bumming senseless within 2 hours from now and you are just a very good manager. 


A hall of fame poster at the peak of his powers. 

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Kevin D Grand Master

Kevin D

Posted
Posted
On 24/07/2014 at 11:02, Tom R said:

 

Let me tell you a few things about women. Firstly, I probably know women better than you do - for a start, how many women have you bummed?

Just as I thought.... 

 

Men, on the whole, know women far better than they know themselves. You know why? Cos women don't really know a fucking thing about anything, least of all themselves. You're all indecisive, insecure yet bizarrely incredibly vain fucking weirdos. 

You lot don't even know what you want for fucking dinner, least of all what you want from a relationship in 5 years time - go on, tell ne with absolute certainty right now what you definitely want to eat later (I know you'll have a terrible argument with yourself before telling me you posted the first thing you definitley wanted).

You can't do that because you're a woman and it's impossible to decide what you want in a timely and un-annoying fashion. 

 

You don't know where you want to go out at the weekend, you don't know what to watch on telly or at the flicks and in 99 cases out of 100 you don't even know what fucking clothes to wear for fucks sake. 

 

Basically, women don't really know anything. You just flit from one disingenuous half-arsed decision to the next whilst telling yourselves that you're decisive and assertive and in control of your own lives.

You're not. 

 

Sorry to break this to you, sister, but it's us blokes who pretty much decide everything and anything that you do on a daily basis. The smart ones, like me, then make you think it was your decision all along. 

 

It's just management. x

 

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