little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Oh Buoy]

Seeing "test" when I try and access the forums. 

[Dave D]

Miltant jobsworths.

 

I was returning something to Homebase the other day- think it cost around £4.

 

I scan my card and Till girl prints off return receipt- job done........or maybe not- she asks me to sign the receipt for their records- fair enough. She then lunges for my debit card and waves it in front of her face and proceeds to ask me if I have anything else on me with my signature on as she cant see it on my bank card as it rubbed off over the years.

 

I give her one of my smooth, yet challenging grins and say I dont have anything. The transaction is done, if she sticks to this signature thing she will then have to call for a manager. 

 

She wasnt budging. Neither was I. It was intense.

 

She then rightly pointed out my driving license will have my signature scanned on to it.

 

She's right.

 

I get my refund but the real victory was hers in this dual of identification proof for returning a plastic plant pot.      

[The Golden Eel]

When a wee bit of liquid goes down your throat the wrong way and you end up coughing for about 10 minutes

[Bjornebye]

Not being able to use a / when saving a word document. Even worse when you have headphones and you get that horrible nazi trumpet salute telling you that you are in-fact a thick cunt and must change this to a – or a . Worth about 67 billion quid and the gig wearing quim can’t even change that functionality that simply makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Typing nerdy circuit-board mainframe world of warcraft software developing coding seattle window cunts.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

When a wee bit of liquid goes down your throat the wrong way and you end up coughing for about 10 minutes

 

Golden showers can be tough for rookies.

[ZonkoVille77]

Not being able to use a / when saving a word document. Even worse when you have headphones and you get that horrible nazi trumpet salute telling you that you are in-fact a thick cunt and must change this to a – or a . Worth about 67 billion quid and the gig wearing quim can’t even change that functionality that simply makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Typing nerdy circuit-board mainframe world of warcraft software developing coding seattle window cunts.

There's a reason for this. Simplistic view is / indicates a directory (folder) on command lines, so it would confuse the operating system.

[Bjornebye]

There's a reason for this. Simplistic view is / indicates a directory (folder) on command lines, so it would confuse the operating system.

See. Twats

[ZonkoVille77]

See. Twats

Yup.

Robots on Mars but they can't sort this shit.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Was thinking about the Robocop TV series of the 90s this morning.  Really annoyed me how they toned it down to make it family friendly.  Instead of shooting a blokes nuts off through a woman's skirt he would shoot a globe which would roll and knock over a book case trapping the criminal but not harming then.

 

Fuck off. 

[Total Longo]

Was thinking about the Robocop TV series of the 90s this morning.  Really annoyed me how they toned it down to make it family friendly.  Instead of shooting a blokes nuts off through a woman's skirt he would shoot a globe which would roll and knock over a book case trapping the criminal but not harming then.

 

 

Still better than the flying version in RoboCop 3.

[Oh Buoy]

When you're in a supermarket and you notice there's no separation bar things and they're all at the bottom near the cashier. Yet Gobshite Doris will make it her mission to let the cashier know when her shopping finishes and walks to the end/leans over everyone elses shopping to grab the bar. 

 

And you automatically say "Thanks" like she's done you and the world a favour. 

 

Another one, when someone in the queue looks at your shopping and then starts touching it and saying, "ohhh, where are they?" then proceeds to eye it up. Go fucking get one, Jean. Fucking flump. 

[Remmie]

When you're in a supermarket and you notice there's no separation bar things and they're all at the bottom near the cashier. Yet Gobshite Doris will make it her mission to let the cashier know when her shopping finishes and walks to the end/leans over everyone elses shopping to grab the bar.

 

And you automatically say "Thanks" like she's done you and the world a favour.

 

Another one, when someone in the queue looks at your shopping and then starts touching it and saying, "ohhh, where are they?" then proceeds to eye it up. Go fucking get one, Jean. Fucking flump.

Neither of those things have ever happened to me.

 

I haven't lived.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I used a Toblerone to separate shopping once, and not the small Toblerone either the medium sized ones.

[Oh Buoy]

Neither of those things have ever happened to me.

 

I haven't lived.

 

Genuinely think the worst was the woman touching stuff. 

 

Picked it up and read the ingredients and everything. 

 

Calorie counting other peoples shopping the cheeky gimp. 

[Mook]

When you're in a supermarket and you notice there's no separation bar things and they're all at the bottom near the cashier. Yet Gobshite Doris will make it her mission to let the cashier know when her shopping finishes and walks to the end/leans over everyone elses shopping to grab the bar. 

 

And you automatically say "Thanks" like she's done you and the world a favour. 

 

Another one, when someone in the queue looks at your shopping and then starts touching it and saying, "ohhh, where are they?" then proceeds to eye it up. Go fucking get one, Jean. Fucking flump. 

 

If someone behind me in the queue started touching my shopping I would stick the head in them, man, woman or child.

 

Completely unacceptable on every level.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Yeah that's never happened to me thankfully , if it did to coin a phrase i'd go 'wild in the aisles'.

[Trumo]

when someone in the queue looks at your shopping and then starts touching it and saying, "ohhh, where are they?" then proceeds to eye it up.

 

[Bjornebye]

twat them in the fucking bollocks. nosey arl bitch 

[Oh Buoy]

If anyones ma's shop at Lidl, don't be surprised if they come home with a broken minge. 

 

https://media.giphy.com/media/afuc6EQLVl1F6/giphy.gif

[Bobby Hundreds]

Went into Primark for the first time in my life with my missus the other day. Women are savages! Put the things you pick up back where you find them you scruffy twats. Second only to Ikea as my idea of hell which to be fair shopping is my idea of hell. Hell for me would be dying and then finding myself following an infinite Ikea path through an infinite store occasionally passing through primark.

[Chairman Meow]

An infinite Ikea path through an infinite store 

 

So just a regular Ikea then?

[Mook]

Does anyone else ever read that free Short List magazine?

 

I usually read it when I'm flying down to London but today I was handed a copy in the street & it reminded me how much I hate the fucking Editor. He does this gay as fuck Editorial at the start of every copy & in the current issue he's bleating on about how hard it was being a teenage boy & how we should all love ourselves because we're all beautiful or some shit.

 

'Dear Editor of Short List,

 

We are not fucking women you metrosexual, hipster, rainbow flag waving fud.

 

Yours disgusted,

 

Edinburgh.'

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

[sir roger]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

 

24 degrees in Liverpool & Southport on Sunday , so I expect a lot of marchers to find out Pink & Orange don't go.

[Elysian Red]

Enjoying a lie in when the fucking bands start banging their drums outside your front door at 8:30am.

 

We get it. You're the world's best super-prods. Now fuck off.

Haha. I’m on the Upper Ormeau. Just heard the Ballynafeigh band heading off down the road to stand in a field pissed pretending their Christians. Was quiet enough here last night but a lot of helicopters about