Great TV programmes yet to be made...

[Mr. Beast]

The new focus on regulation and ethics in the media might put the kibosh on this but how good would this be:

 

"Celebrity Bin Dipping with Paul Danan"

 

Danan scuttling around, sorting through famous peoples refuse. Basically an updated Through the Keyhole!

[Captain Turdseye]

Total Wheelchair Wipeout. The same as Total Wipeout, but for paraplegics.

[smokinstu]

i would love to see someone tackle the bigballs on a wheel chair!!

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Darts Players Wives...

 

in the mould of Footballers Wives.....but grittier...Jimmy McGovern making p'raps?

[Anny Road]

Monkey Tennis

[Guest The Chimp]

Monkey Tennis

 

First thing that came to mind.

[brucespanner]

Arm wrestling with Chas and Dave? Inner City Sumo? Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank?

 

Failing that a real life version of Celebrity Death Match (First show Thatcher Vs The World)

[smokinstu]

A real life running man!! defo throw Danny Dyer and Jeremy Kyle and most of the manc squad in the first episode! :)

[Mr. Beast]

Frank Bruno's Celebrity Lie Detector

[TonyBellew_BUM!]

How about a UFC style show for all the sexy bints that you would love to do dirty things too but will never have the chance.

 

You could have them cat fighting and ripping each others cloths off and beating each other with dildos, proper XXX rated no holds barred.

 

TBH I am very suprised that no one else has put it down.

[Bobby Hundreds]

John prescotts fight club

 

Common people - prince Philip travels the world and lives amongst the plebs of humanity uncensored, first episode "a week with the bloody pikeys"

[Karl_b]

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/52977-gf-tv.html

[Kevin D]

I would love HBO to have a go at making Catch-22 a tv show.

[Stu Monty]

I don't want to say too much before I've got all the funding together but it's looking likely that next Autumn will see the airing of my masterpiece. Comedic drama with a buddy theme to it where two chalk and cheese detectives form an unlikely partnership to fight crime. It's called Private Dicks and it's going to be staring Richard Dawkins and Richard Blackwood.

[Guest Jon Snow]

Truman Show only not a film this time a real (fake) TV show.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Truman Show only not a film this time a real (fake) TV show.

 

The Simon Show.

[Mr. Beast]

Noel Edmond's Advanced Interrogation Techniques.

 

Responding to intelligence that he/she may be in possession of a weapon of mass destruction, the BBC kidnap a well known celebrity and take him to a dark site in Swansea. Noel has 30 minutes to find out if the WMDs exist and if so, where they are. It's basically a cross between 24 and Noel's House Party and an opportunity for Noel Edmonds to show the full force of his sadistic personality that previously tv programmers have kept under check..

[dennis tooth]

Celebrity Total Wheelchair Wipeout.

[Cortinaman666]

Jerzy Shore - Travelogue around the coastline of Britain hosted by a certain person not allowed to be mentioned on the GF

[silverlining]

This thread is like TV Go Home! never existed.

[Pony Princess]

Embarrassing Doctor Pixie. Like embarrassing bodies except its one hour of doctor Pixie sitting in the nude looking shy as the nations men masturbate furiously.

 

Braniac : human rights abuse. Like Braniac but the experiments are done on prisoners, occupy protesters etc

[Paulie Dangerously]

Pippa Middleton's Celebrity Lez-off

[robslappa]

Margaret Thatcher's State Funeral.

[Jairzinho]

I've always felt Big Brother could become a watchable television program if the contestants were force fed various drugs. The house would have no food, electricity, or running water.

 

The tasks would simply be to finish the drugs between the 10/12 housemates within a week. A kilo of ketamine perhaps for week one. Upon completing the task the house would be rewarded with a small glass of water to share amongst the housemates.

[grimble]

'Extreme Fisting With Robson Greene'

 

Robson Greene travels to various exotic locations around the world and rams his fists up various people and animals whilst shouting "WHY AYE, GET A LOAD OF THAT CANNY LAD".

 

'Whore In A Bed'

 

Wayne Rooney stays in various B&Bs in the UK and pays for grotesque sexual intercourse with septugenarians who insist that he puts a bag on his head during the act.

 

'ITV News'

 

A show on ITV which actually contains factual items about current affairs.

 

'The Frozen Plantagenet'

 

David Attenbrough digs up Richard II, places the remains in a freezer and narrates the action with cooing, poetic reverence.

 

'Jap's Eye'

 

Jim Bowen rewards council tenants from Yorkshire with tankards full of darts for their varying levels of accuracy in throwing sharp projectiles from a distance at the urethras of men. Instead of a bull for a mascot, there's a Japanese cyclops, shaped like a penis, with conjuntivitis.

 

'The Hex Factor'

 

Witch doctors from Uganda are invited onto the stage in front of a baying audience in order to see who can asphyixiate Louis Walsh with voodoo or attempt to make Danni Minogue's face move using threatening dances.

 

'The Pube'

 

Philip Schofiled presents a game show in which contestants aim to complete various tasks against the clock whilst encased in a massive rhombus constructed entirely out of pubic hair.

 

'Children In Tweed'

 

Annual fund raiser for children who can only afford to dress in Harris Tweeds. Terry Wogan and Fearne Cotton throw coins donated by members of the public at children wearing denim, corduroy or gingham until their injuries are so serious that they are forced to hand their bloodied clothes over to the children in tweed.

 

'Yeastenders'

 

Thrice weekly soap opera following the ups and downs of cockneys living with thrush.

 

'Doctor Why'

 

Science fiction adventures with a time travelling doctor with severe autism who is completely unable to relate to the various aliens due to being completely preoccupied by how things work.

 

'Hatch of the Day'

 

Gary Lineker pokes his head through various wooden flaps.

 

'Hatch of the Day Two'

 

Colin Murray pokes his head through various wooden flaps that have mostly already been poked through by Gary Lineker's head.

 

'Beale Or No Beale'

 

Noel Edmonds uses random selection, numerology and his raw sexuality to help contestants find Ian Beale's severed head in one of 15 boxes.

 

'Tame Team'

 

Tony Robinson and his team of socially awkward archaeologists want to dig up fields to find items of historical interest, but are unable to do so as nobody is brave enough to request planning permission.

 

'Slaybours'

 

Harold Bishop goes fucking mental with an axe.

 

'You've Been Maimed'

 

Harry Hill quips his way through a montage of clips in which members of the public are badly maimed in domestic and industrial accidents.

 

'Cunty Tracks'

 

Ben Fogle on a path.

 

'Coronation Teat'

 

A thrice weekly soap opera about the ups and downs of Queen Elizabeth II's tits.