The world of a woman.

[Bjornebye]

She doesn't understand that an oven is able to cook food at different temperatures. I've just gone into the kitchen and smelt burning, she's got a vegan quiche in the oven that's starting to burn around the edges. She's thrown it in and whacked it up to 225 when it's meant to be 180 and gone upstairs and just left it. 

 

I'm left with the dilemma, do I turn it down so it cooks properly for her and not saying anything meaning she will continue to do it or do I tell her that I've turned it down because she yet again tried to burn her food into a crisp and get accused of being a nagging twat? Or just leave it, let it burn, ruin her dinner and get called a cunt for not smelling burning? 

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

She doesn't understand that an oven is able to cook food at different temperatures. I've just gone into the kitchen and smelt burning, she's got a vegan quiche in the oven that's starting to burn around the edges. She's thrown it in and whacked it up to 225 when it's meant to be 180 and gone upstairs and just left it. 

 

I'm left with the dilemma, do I turn it down so it cooks properly for her and not saying anything meaning she will continue to do it or do I tell her that I've turned it down because she yet again tried to burn her food into a crisp and get accused of being a nagging twat? Or just leave it, let it burn, ruin her dinner and get called a cunt for not smelling burning? 

Mine does the same on the hob, turned up to the top temperature and doesn't understand why whatever she has in the pan gets welded to it.

 

I don't eat her food.

[Pete]

Her: is my other red plant pot in the shed or the garage.

Me: dunno. Check the garage first. 
her: nope not in there. I’ll check the shed.

her: not in there either. Where have YOU put it.

me: let me check the garage again.

her: I found it. I’m using it for something else. 

 

They’re all fucking nuts

[tokyojoe]

9 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Her: "next year you need to take more time off around Christmas to help buy presents, wrap them and tidy the house, this is too much of a rush and I'm stressed out".

 

She only buys presents for her family and friends so I don't need to have any input into it. There's nothing wrong with the house and I wrapped about 8 kids presents last night in half an hour. 

 

Her the last few days:

 

Goes to a works party

Meets her Dad for lunch 

Meets her sister for lunch

Goes the cinema

Meets her friends on Saturday afternoon for drinks and spent most of Sunday on the couch knackered with a massive hangover.

 

But I need to waste leave days next year apparently because everything is too much of a rush. 

Wanna job?

[RJ Fan club]

6 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Mine does the same on the hob, turned up to the top temperature and doesn't understand why whatever she has in the pan gets welded to it.

 

I don't eat her food.

Grrrrrr. Scrambled eggs and hot chocolate in our house end up welded every fucking time. 
 

Last week I made and showed her how to make hot chocolate without committing arson or creating a new alloy of stainless steel and lactose. She looked genuinely confused it didn’t burn.
 

Hasn’t changed her approach to using a stove like, but still she knows better is possible. I like to think. 
 

I’m aiming for evolution not revolution  

 

I’m pissing in the wind. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

8 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

She doesn't understand that an oven is able to cook food at different temperatures. I've just gone into the kitchen and smelt burning, she's got a vegan quiche in the oven that's starting to burn around the edges. She's thrown it in and whacked it up to 225 when it's meant to be 180 and gone upstairs and just left it. 

 

I'm left with the dilemma, do I turn it down so it cooks properly for her and not saying anything meaning she will continue to do it or do I tell her that I've turned it down because she yet again tried to burn her food into a crisp and get accused of being a nagging twat? Or just leave it, let it burn, ruin her dinner and get called a cunt for not smelling burning? 

 

Let it burn, and then even if she does set it to 180 next time, you should sneak in and turn it to 240 to hammer the point home.

[Bobby Hundreds]

"I've got loads to do" lists 3 things and she's off 2 days to do them. She's stressing out because I haven't done my wrapping yet, fuck sake there's 4 days to wrap a handful of presents I'm not in a race against time or Christmas is ruined. Half an hour boom I'm done. She's even at the point now she breaks down singular tasks to make herself sound more rushed, "I've got to wash my hair, then dry my hair, then brush my hair then do makeup".... so you've got to get ready then. She does it with everything  you ain't busy you work from home in your pyjamas and when I get home there's brownies been baked She's on a recliner Web browsing.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Her and her ma have been to the big tesco twice in the last week spending £200 each time. 

 

We have no butter and no bread in the house. 

[Pete]

21 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her and her ma have been to the big tesco twice in the last week spending £200 each time. 

 

We have no butter and no bread in the house. 

Well that is clearly your fault for not 'nipping round to the co-op' and picking some up. 

[Bob]

8 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

Grrrrrr. Scrambled eggs and hot chocolate in our house end up welded every fucking time. 
 

Last week I made and showed her how to make hot chocolate without committing arson or creating a new alloy of stainless steel and lactose. She looked genuinely confused it didn’t burn.
 

Hasn’t changed her approach to using a stove like, but still she knows better is possible. I like to think. 
 

I’m aiming for evolution not revolution  

 

I’m pissing in the wind. 

Yesterday I hadn’t eaten breakfast and so was hungry a bit earlier than lunchtime and she walked from her room/office to mine so I asked if she would cook the chilli bratwurst we had in the fridge for our lunch. she said she was about to have a shower but ok then.

 

anyway, I turn back to my laptop and carry on working until about 10 minutes later the oven starts beeping and she shouts me from the bathroom saying “can you go and

turn those sausages over, I’m in the shower”.

 

she’s only put them under the grill on its highest setting and then fucked off to another part of the house.

 

yes, they were burnt on that side, and yes, I did turn the grill down and move it to a lower shelf of the compartment, and yes, I did whip up a tremendous impromptu currywurst ketchup (takes 3 minutes, tastes amazing) and throw a part baked baguette into the oven so we had a tremendous lunch in the end, but Christ i can’t work out how her head works.

[Oh Buoy]

10 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Yesterday I hadn’t eaten breakfast and so was hungry a bit earlier than lunchtime and she walked from her room/office to mine so I asked if she would cook the chilli bratwurst we had in the fridge for our lunch. she said she was about to have a shower but ok then.

 

anyway, I turn back to my laptop and carry on working until about 10 minutes later the oven starts beeping and she shouts me from the bathroom saying “can you go and

turn those sausages over, I’m in the shower”.

 

she’s only put them under the grill on its highest setting and then fucked off to another part of the house.

 

yes, they were burnt on that side, and yes, I did turn the grill down and move it to a lower shelf of the compartment, and yes, I did whip up a tremendous impromptu currywurst ketchup (takes 3 minutes, tastes amazing) and throw a part baked baguette into the oven so we had a tremendous lunch in the end, but Christ i can’t work out how her head works.

 

You could have just sorted lunch y'self yer lazy tit. I'm with the misses on this one. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

1 minute ago, Pete said:

Well that is clearly your fault for not 'nipping round to the co-op' and picking some up. 

Going to get some on my way home from work. Will be probably be asked to bring something for tea as well 

[Pete]

4 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Going to get some on my way home from work. Will be probably be asked to bring something for tea as well 

I know this one well too. "Whilst you're out can you get some xxxxx". 

But I've ony got funds for the bread, butter and a pint of milk as its Christmas & I'm skint until payday...

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Pete said:

I know this one well too. "Whilst you're out can you get some xxxxx". 

But I've ony got funds for the bread, butter and a pint of milk as its Christmas & I'm skint until payday...

You know what to do.

 

[RJ Fan club]

1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her and her ma have been to the big tesco twice in the last week spending £200 each time. 

 

We have no butter and no bread in the house. 

Was in Tesco last night, two lasses filling up a trolley with an absolute load of calorific food. No problem it’s crimbo
 

Cheese, tubs of chocolate, boxes of biscuits, boxes of mince pies, stollen, Christmas pudding, cream, brandy butter, wine, etc.

 

one turns to the other asked her to get some of “those diet cake bars”.

 

Swear they’re a different species 

[Section_31]

Both the Mrs and my mum do this, if they're a passenger they wait until I've stopped the car, turned the engine off and have one leg out the open door before starting a new conversation, whereas I would think it'd make more sense to either start and end said conversation during the drive, or wait until you're in the house.  

[Rico1304]

18 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

She doesn't understand that an oven is able to cook food at different temperatures. I've just gone into the kitchen and smelt burning, she's got a vegan quiche in the oven that's starting to burn around the edges. She's thrown it in and whacked it up to 225 when it's meant to be 180 and gone upstairs and just left it. 

 

I'm left with the dilemma, do I turn it down so it cooks properly for her and not saying anything meaning she will continue to do it or do I tell her that I've turned it down because she yet again tried to burn her food into a crisp and get accused of being a nagging twat? Or just leave it, let it burn, ruin her dinner and get called a cunt for not smelling burning? 

Mine does the same with the drier.  Everything is either put in for 2 hours and comes out crispy or put in for 20 mins and sits damp for hours so needs rewashing. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

Mine does the same with the drier.  Everything is either put in for 2 hours and comes out crispy or put in for 20 mins and sits damp for hours so needs rewashing. 

I went to put a wash on a few weeks back and opened the machine to a load of damp washing, she'd left it in there for two days. Not only that but yet again she had completely filled the machine so things don't properly wash so i had to do 3 loads of washing and hang them out while she nipped round her mums who was babysitting her nephew. In other words to get the fuck out the way while I sorted her mess out. 

 

I wanted a lie in over the weekend, noise noise noise so I come downstairs and she's got the mop bucket out and all sorts of stuff going on. I jump in the shower and by the time I'm out she's sat on the couch, most of the stuff has been cleared away but the empty mop bucket remains. It still remains... wait for it... to this day... it's still next to the bathroom door exactly where it was when I came down. It's next to the cupboard where it usually lives. 4 yards away. Like fuck I'm moving it. I might even make a point of tripping over it later just to cause an argument.  

[YorkshireRed]

I’m not working this week, the wife is. Both mornings she’s stomped around the bedroom, bathroom and then slammed the front door as she leaves. 
 

It’s not her doing this so much that gets my goat, it’s the knowledge of the reaction I’d get from her if our situation was reversed and I even made the faintest pip of a squeak. 

[Pete]

10 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m not working this week, the wife is. Both mornings she’s stomped around the bedroom, bathroom and then slammed the front door as she leaves. 
 

It’s not her doing this so much that gets my goat, it’s the knowledge of the reaction I’d get from her if our situation was reversed and I even made the faintest pip of a squeak. 

I get this all the time.  The worst one is if she's up late watching telly she never turns the volume down or puts on headphones, If I do the same heaven forbid! 

[TheBitch]

My Mrs was driving to work and a fox ran out in the road ahead of her, then apparently about 20 seconds later a fox ran out in the road from the opposite side this time.

 

She said, and I quote "It couldn't have been the same one could it?"

 

Well I suppose if the top speed of a fox is now 200mph I guess it could have legged it up the side of the road just to run out in front of you again and fuck with your head. Absolutely potty she is.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, TheBitch said:

My Mrs was driving to work and a fox ran out in the road ahead of her, then apparently about 20 seconds later a fox ran out in the road from the opposite side this time.

 

She said, and I quote "It couldn't have been the same one could it?"

 

Well I suppose if the top speed of a fox is now 200mph I guess it could have legged it up the side of the road just to run out in front of you again and fuck with your head. Absolutely potty she is.

I bet the Fantastic Mister Fox was behind this. No other explanation. 

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m not working this week, the wife is. Both mornings she’s stomped around the bedroom, bathroom and then slammed the front door as she leaves. 
 

It’s not her doing this so much that gets my goat, it’s the knowledge of the reaction I’d get from her if our situation was reversed and I even made the faintest pip of a squeak. 

Could be wrong here, but at least it sounds like she's refrained from giving you a list of useless things to do just because you don't have work.

[YorkshireRed]

Just now, Mudface said:

Could be wrong here, but at least it sounds like she's refrained from giving you a list of useless things to do just because you don't have work.

If only that was the case. I’m well drilled in that regard. It is something of a surprise that she hasn’t chosen to repeat them before leaving the house though. She’s clearly up to something. 
 

Thanks for uncovering her treachery. 

[Mudface]

3 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

If only that was the case. I’m well drilled in that regard. It is something of a surprise that she hasn’t chosen to repeat them before leaving the house though. She’s clearly up to something. 
 

Thanks for uncovering her treachery. 

Ah, fair enough, I've been in the same situation and usually get woken up to be told what I (reluctantly) agreed to do only the night before. So yeah, she's trying to trap you...