The world of a woman.

[Carvalho Diablo]

[milky]

Girl in work was measuring for curtains the other day. She couldn't find the tape measure, so improvised. She came up with 'around 100 metres ' length window.

 

Upon query of the world record size window, it emerged that she'd used a tin foil box as a measurement guide, which had '60 metres' on the box.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Girl in work was measuring for curtains the other day. She couldn't find the tape measure, so improvised. She came up with 'around 100 metres ' length window.

 

Upon query of the world record size window, it emerged that she'd used a tin foil box as a measurement guide, which had '60 metres' on the box.

 

I hope whoever had been reminding her to breathe on a second by second basis, saw fit to stop, lest she reproduce.

[littletedwest]

girl in work went to her grandmas funeral yesterday. She popped in work after to pick something up still in her funeral clothes other girl ,who is her best mate out of work says

"what's matter you look fed up?"

[lifetime fan]

Girl in work was measuring for curtains the other day. She couldn't find the tape measure, so improvised. She came up with 'around 100 metres ' length window.

 

Upon query of the world record size window, it emerged that she'd used a tin foil box as a measurement guide, which had '60 metres' on the box.

That's fucking excellent.

[lifetime fan]

Giving the bird directions the other day;

 

Me: you need to get off the metro at Business Bay, but don't go out of the station the way we normally do, you need to cross over the road before going out.

Her: how will I know I'm walking over a road?

Me: look out the fucking window.

[A Red]

Re-doing our bedroom and having wardrobes fitted. Big discussions as to how to best fit them into a relatively small room. Drawings made, measurements made, bed moved into every position, light considered, everything you can think of of was discussed and considered.

 

Her auntie is staying with us and her opinion was asked and duly given. So now we are having everything arranged so that the bed is facing east. Practicalities have now fucked off.

[lifetime fan]

Re-doing our bedroom and having wardrobes fitted. Big discussions as to how to best fit them into a relatively small room. Drawings made, measurements made, bed moved into every position, light considered, everything you can think of of was discussed and considered.

 

Her auntie is staying with us and her opinion was asked and duly given. So now we are having everything arranged so that the bed is facing east. Practicalities have now fucked off.

Paulie's bird is your missus' aunty?

[Trumo]

Re-doing our bedroom and having wardrobes fitted. Big discussions as to how to best fit them into a relatively small room. Drawings made, measurements made, bed moved into every position, light considered, everything you can think of of was discussed and considered.

 

Her auntie is staying with us and her opinion was asked and duly given. So now we are having everything arranged so that the bed is facing east. Practicalities have now fucked off.

 

The numbers used are the correct measurements but she's not accurately measured any of the furniture, factored in the radiator, floor space or the airing cupboard in the top right. You'll note that absolutely zero scaling has been used

.

[Harry Squatter]

Thick bird in work was talking to some Lad who went to watch Mad Max last night, he told her it was set in the future and that oil is fought over between deadly gangs

 

"Is it a true story?".

 

Thick twat.

[Bob]

Thick bird in work was talking to some Lad who went to watch Mad Max last night, he told her it was set in the future and that oil is fought over between deadly gangs

 

"Is it a true story?".

 

Thick twat.

While she clearly is, as you state, a thick twat, the correct answer is probably yes.

[Evelyn Tentions]

Girl in work was measuring for curtains the other day. She couldn't find the tape measure, so improvised. She came up with 'around 100 metres ' length window.

 

Upon query of the world record size window, it emerged that she'd used a tin foil box as a measurement guide, which had '60 metres' on the box.

 

 

Re-doing our bedroom and having wardrobes fitted. Big discussions as to how to best fit them into a relatively small room. Drawings made, measurements made, bed moved into every position, light considered, everything you can think of of was discussed and considered.

 

Her auntie is staying with us and her opinion was asked and duly given. So now we are having everything arranged so that the bed is facing east. Practicalities have now fucked off.

Paulies missus is going to need her own thread soon

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Giving the bird directions the other day;

 

Me: you need to get off the metro at Business Bay, but don't go out of the station the way we normally do, you need to cross over the road before going out.

Her: how will I know I'm walking over a road?

Me: look out the fucking window.

 

Haha, extra funny because they're practically all made of glass.

[Bjornebye]

Thick bird in work was talking to some Lad who went to watch Mad Max last night, he told her it was set in the future and that oil is fought over between deadly gangs

 

"Is it a true story?".

 

Thick twat.

Mentioned it on here before but my ex didn't ask but TOLD me that war of the worlds with tom cruise was based on a true story from the 30's.

[Remmie]

What is with the significance of dreams women seem to take, it's just some stupid shit your brain does while you are unconscious and everyone thinks differently, why try to interpret it so much?

[lifetime fan]

Haha, extra funny because they're practically all made of glass.

Yeah I forgot to mention that.

 

It's a good job she has the twins. Miserable bitch.

[bigbak]

A colleagues daughter has just parked and didn't have enough change for the pay and display.  She bought one ticket and put it on her car.  The got some change from a shop and bought another ticket to "top up" the first ticket.

£6 spent.  Not enough time on either tickets to cover the time she needs to park.

[Harry Squatter]

What is with the significance of dreams women seem to take, it's just some stupid shit your brain does while you are unconscious and everyone thinks differently, why try to interpret it so much?

My Mrs takes dreams seriously and reckons if you dream about copping off or shagging someone you know in your dream it subconsciously means you fancy them.

 

I always said my dreams are random and make no sense whatsoever, a cross between fear and loathing in Las Vegas and the Yellow submarine. I told her once that I was driving round Bootle with Kojak in his Buick with a leopard in his boot and we let it go in Bootle strand. This raised no eyebrows whatsoever.

 

I then told her I had another dream about copping off with the girl who works in William Hill and she wouldn't speak to me for a few days because she wa convince I was always in there trying to smash this girl.

[Jairzinho]

Were you?

[Hand Shandy]

Obviously.

[Harry Squatter]

No, of course not. I was trying to smash the bird from Ladbrokes.

[Elite]

Me: They are making a show called American Crime Story, first season is about the OJ Simpson trial. John Travolta is in it.

 

Mum: Oh is he playing OJ Simpson?

[Evelyn Tentions]

My Mrs takes dreams seriously and reckons if you dream about copping off or shagging someone you know in your dream it subconsciously means you fancy them.

 

I always said my dreams are random and make no sense whatsoever, a cross between fear and loathing in Las Vegas and the Yellow submarine. I told her once that I was driving round Bootle with Kojak in his Buick with a leopard in his boot and we let it go in Bootle strand. This raised no eyebrows whatsoever.

 

I then told her I had another dream about copping off with the girl who works in William Hill and she wouldn't speak to me for a few days because she wa convince I was always in there trying to smash this girl.

My ex actually thumped me one morning because she caught me shagging her friend - in her dream

 

[Ginny]

My Mrs takes dreams seriously and reckons if you dream about copping off or shagging someone you know in your dream it subconsciously means you fancy them.

I always said my dreams are random and make no sense whatsoever, a cross between fear and loathing in Las Vegas and the Yellow submarine. I told her once that I was driving round Bootle with Kojak in his Buick with a leopard in his boot and we let it go in Bootle strand. This raised no eyebrows whatsoever.

I then told her I had another dream about copping off with the girl who works in William Hill and she wouldn't speak to me for a few days because she wa convince I was always in there trying to smash this girl.

Why oh why would you tell your mrs you dreamt about copping off with another girl?

[lifetime fan]

You don't tell your bird about dream cheating on her?