The world of a woman.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Her. Can't go out I've got no money. Shit week I was lioking forward to that.

Me- i ll give you the money (gives it the you deserve it speech)

Her- no its OK I don't want to now

Me- OK

Her- BBQ Sunday I've invited people round (20 to be exact)

Me- I go butchers after work and get the meat then but it will be with the money for going out with if you want it.

Her- I told you I'm not going

 

Me- * gets food and drink*

 

Tonight I'm selfish for not giving her money and going out and spending all the money on booze and food for her party!

 

 

Worst Stars in Their Eyes contestant ever.

[The_Goat]

On the train the other day older couple opposite,

 

Wife "Which station do we need to get off?"

 

Husband "Central Station"

 

Wife "No, Lime Street is closer, we will get off there"

 

Husband - Silence.

 

WHY FUCKING ASK HIM???

[Paulie Dangerously]

"The shower curtain rail has fallen down"

"How did that happen, did you pull it?"

"No I didn't! It's just fucking shit and hasn't been put up properly you always make out like I've done something stupid I was just getting the towel off it"

"The soaking wet towel we use to put under the babies head when be bathe her?"

"Yeah so what? I just pulled it off the rail"

"So you pulled a heavy soaking wet towel off a spring loaded shower rail instead of lifting it off like I do and it fell off then?"

"I'm not talking about it anymore"

 

 

Mmmmkay. Monthly incoming.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

There's one of them on a GoT forum I go on who keeps calling Daenerys 'Danny', It genuinely makes me feel sick, they shouldn't be allowed to watch it, highly improbable they're able to follow it anyway.

[Paulie Dangerously]

There's one of them on a GoT forum I go on who keeps calling Daenerys 'Danny', It genuinely makes me feel sick, they shouldn't be allowed to watch it, highly improbable they're able to follow it anyway.

I watch each episode twice. One with her pausing it asking who that is and why have they done that.

 

Then again on my own to enjoy it

[Evelyn Tentions]

"The shower curtain rail has fallen down"

"How did that happen, did you pull it?"

"No I didn't! It's just fucking shit and hasn't been put up properly you always make out like I've done something stupid I was just getting the towel off it"

"The soaking wet towel we use to put under the babies head when be bathe her?"

"Yeah so what? I just pulled it off the rail"

"So you pulled a heavy soaking wet towel off a spring loaded shower rail instead of lifting it off like I do and it fell off then?"

"I'm not talking about it anymore"

 

 

Mmmmkay. Monthly incoming.

Just don't let her do the measuring up for the repairs

[Dr Nowt]

Just don't let her do the measuring up for the repairs

 

Her design looks great on paper, the shower curtain goes round both sides of the street twice and features a Pergola.

[Furmedge]

Has anyone ever known this 'trick' to work?

My wife put her phone in the washing machine which was subsequently placed in a bowl of rice. After a week it was working perfectly. Didn't stop her taking up a brand new contract and phone the day it happened for another £40pm, meaning for 14 months she had two contracts running.

 

Women, ey?

[Mook]

My missus has informed me that if/when we get a house, we're getting flooring down all over rather than carpets, a quick investigation this morning tells me flooring costs about 2/3 times as much as having carpets fitted.

 

So I'm going to have to win this argument then, let joy be unconfined.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My wife put her phone in the washing machine which was subsequently placed in a bowl of rice. After a week it was working perfectly. Didn't stop her taking up a brand new contract and phone the day it happened for another £40pm, meaning for 14 months she had two contracts running.

 

Women, ey?

 

I did that once. Not the washing machine bit but I REALLY wanted a new phone about 4 months before my contract was up so I went and got it. Regretted it bgg time. Two £40 bills a month. Never again.

[Trumo]

My missus has informed me that if/when we get a house, we're getting flooring down all over rather than carpets, a quick investigation this morning tells me flooring costs about 2/3 times as much as having carpets fitted.

 

So I'm going to have to win this argument then, let joy be unconfined.

 

She'll spend all her time moaning about how she's feeling cold.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

As a wise man once said, why are women always cold ?? becuase they're all fucking Lizards.

[Remmie]

My missus has informed me that if/when we get a house, we're getting flooring down all over rather than carpets, a quick investigation this morning tells me flooring costs about 2/3 times as much as having carpets fitted.

 

So I'm going to have to win this argument then, let joy be unconfined.

She will win and once you get flooring everywhere you will get rugs to go on top of the flooring

[Remmie]

I watch each episode twice. One with her pausing it asking who that is and why have they done that.

 

Then again on my own to enjoy it

WHen you watch it again you then have enough knowledge to tell her who everyone is

[General Dryness]

I watch each episode twice. One with her pausing it asking who that is and why have they done that.

 

Then again on my own to enjoy it

 

Thats when the kleenex comes out.

[Champ]

My missus has informed me that if/when we get a house, we're getting flooring down all over rather than carpets, a quick investigation this morning tells me flooring costs about 2/3 times as much as having carpets fitted.

 

So I'm going to have to win this argument then, let joy be unconfined.

Flooring for rooms/spaces that need cleaning a lot, carpet everywhere else

[Mook]

Flooring for rooms/spaces that need cleaning a lot, carpet everywhere else

That's what I've been saying.

 

That and that and that Frank Zappa should be President.

[Champ]

That's what I've been saying.

 

That and that and that Frank Zappa should be President.

Tell her she'll be forever cleaning hard floors

[Mook]

Tell her she'll be forever cleaning hard floors

I've gone to the pub, all this domestic stuff is too much for me.

[General Dryness]

Tell her she'll be forever cleaning hard floors

 

Eliminates the possibility of carpet burns on your knees though. Swings and roundabouts.

[mattyq]

This constant cleaning does my head in

Everybody knows a bit of dust & grime is healthy and adds character to any house

[General Dryness]

This constant cleaning does my head in

Everybody knows a bit of dust & grime is healthy and adds character to any house

 

Exactly right fella. Bit of filth builds up your immune system as well. If you live in a sterile environment all the time, one day you'll end up nipping to the shops for a box of beers and come back with a case of AIDS.

[Hooch]

Carpets all day for me. Warmer, nicer on the feet, just gives everything a more homely feel for me.

 

Laminate is shite, proper Barratt Class that. If you get that you might as well get one of those shit ornament things that reads 'LOVE' in big writing too. Go all out gypo.

[Jose Jones]

Tell her she'll be forever cleaning hard floors

 

What's the difference other than you can see the dirt on hard floors, but it hides in carpets?

 

We've got wooden floors all over our house, except tiles in the bathroom.  No upstairs though.

Vacuum does the job, with the very occasional mop.

[Bjornebye]